I thought that I would just send this hyperlink How to Get Out of Your Own Way and Let Your Life Shine to you. I think that it is both informative and full of pearls of wisdom. I myself am reading it. I need all of the help that I can get.
Yes, very toxic. I am still in the process of learning to be this way myself. Perhaps it comes down to how long a time we choose to engage these people ~ perhaps when we feel the toxicity beginning to stream through us ~ that is it.
At the risk of sounding imbecilic, what are P and J?
At the same time, Meno, I think that guilt can be kind of like a beacon, at least for those who are willing to see and to follow that beacon to where it leads and to learn from it.
Of course, in and of itself, without utilizing it, guilt is nothing more than wallowing in our own ego and an excuse to deny responsibility for something.
I expected as much, but if I let futility get in the way of offering honest value to people, I wouldn’t get to say much at all.
You jump straight from things like “I just don’t like being disagreed with” to “I must be biased” - none of which is true - anything other than the faintest consideration that what I offered might have truth to it, and exactly as someone would who fit the criteria that I’m suggesting apply to you.
Every time you avoid my analysis of you, you prove its worth, so I’ll let your actions admit the truth even if your words will not.
I was surprised you were reading it, when so late in the day you finally jumped in at the first opportunity where obsrvr mistakenly thought he had some kind of upper hand, in spite of all the many times I pinned him down where you were silent - and you talk about “bias”. Only prom seemed to understand the difficulty he was in - but for someone who was at base trying to suggest you can define the undefinable, he was never going to emerge better than bowing out and feigning some degree of dignity as he did.
I already know how it went without your input, and it amuses me that you lamely feigned disinterest in what I had to say here and yet now come out with the truth that you were enjoying a debate I was involved in that was going on at the same time. Obviously that same ego-protection-reflex in the post I linked, but at least you admitted the truth to yourself this much later on in time - perhaps there’s hope for you yet. Now if you could only overcome that reflex and show at least minimal honest consideration of what I’m currently analysing of you, rather than waiting a month first. Immediate humility and a willingness to entertain criticism is an emotionally advanced skill that few possess - but it goes a long way to making you a good moderator if you can pull it off consistently. Take that or leave it, I have no expectations of you doing the wise thing but perhaps at least someone will pick up on it.
It’s odd that you think your time had only been up for a few months, and even more odd that you had to wait for the decision to be made for you, or “organically” as you put it. How many years has it been since we had those mod-trolls and deliberate baiting? I did factor this into my analysis when I said mods are needed when those people are still around and when forum sizes get beyond a certain size such as this place used to be. You accuse me of not paying attention - more psychological projection by your hands, playing even further to my analysis. Other mod presence faded away “organically” in line with the faded need for them, and yet you did not.
Like I said, I’ll let your actions prove my point if your words cannot.
I am just wondering though ~ is it fair or just to analyze or critique someone who has not asked for that? Of course, if they have asked for that, if they are curious about what others think of them, that is different, right?
It is kind of like a deer being caught in one’s headlights. I wonder what the deer feels about that.
I think generally deers don’t stand much chance of ending up in a better place than before they got caught in someone’s headlights. That’s not why I’m driving, and I’m hoping anyone I approach has more capacity for honest self-reflection and for demonstrated consideration than a deer. I’m just driving where I think it could be fairer to go, fair or not in my means, fairness is the intended end. If fate hasn’t been fair enough to do it herself, I think it’s fair to take the wheel for her. I think the logic and evidence I’m providing is fair enough, and I think if you disagreed you’d be doing so out of pathos rather than logos - and which is more appropriate for a philosophy forum would you say?
I am not avoiding your analysis, I am disagreeing with it… it is simply not applicable to me.
…actually, I jumped in then because the discussion had gotten interesting (heatened up)… it became entertaining… what more can I say.
I said how I felt it went, not how you think it went… different.
So… if I was enjoying the latter aforementioned thread… perhaps I was not enjoying the former? for a reason that should be evident, and of which I won’t be discussing.
Wise for who? I did not want to do what you are suggesting I should have done, in that thread.
Immediate humility? What! I weren’t brought up or educated to be, but you can exercise it all you want… all day long.
Entertain criticism? I prefer to be selective in that matter, but again, feel free to entertain every single criticism that comes your way. The education system I was in was one big critique-fest… I’ve been critiqued the hell out of for decades… it was a blast.
This is of my concern alone… I don’t want to share my personal concerns and decision-making, and your want to prove a point is not of my concern.
Then get on with it already. None of us are fairly polished stones. Know thyself, without all the distortions. If you think you do, then you are still facing at least one grand distortion. It is after all an impossible task, always changing, ever the new part to get in touch with. Ever the new entanglement to distraction.
“I don’t know myself well enough”. Can any one repeat those words with me? Can we utter them with the most sincere conviction, such that we actually do something about it? My shit stinks so bad, I can hardly smell anything coming from anywhere else. Amen.
Thank you all for your distorted advice. We ain’t going to see anyone else clearly until we polish our own lens and see ourselves more clearly.
I got go take a shower, who knows how long it will take to wash all my shit off my own face. And My house, it’s a mess. And here I thought running the vacuum, and damp mopping once a day was enough.
I exercise patience a lot… unlike some here, it seems.
A good question is, is some behaviour really necessary? now that’s a good one to ask. Agitation being a natural default setting for one or two, simply because they don’t like what they read.
Educated and raised, not just educated… but we were part of a polite and well-mannered Community.
For me, there are more helpful traits to foster than humility… I’d rather go out there and do good or be proactively helpful, so fostering a balanced character is more essential to my self than any one specific trait… I cannot answer for others as to what is essential for them.
I appreciate others’ efforts and good gestures and express that, but is that humility or a combination of traits in play in expressing appreciation to others?
Humility is something that I don’t have to rely on or use… there are other aspects that I do.
Oh, you say I missed a spot. Gee you’re right, thanks.
Gets the bucket and scrub brush out again. Over here somewhere you say. I should clean the whole floor again just to be sure. Thanks.
Like picking weeds in my garden. Gives me some time to think. Man oh man they were thick this year.
And on another note, the wife (for my benefit, not yours) just got home from a business trip and I gave her the biggest hug, and whispered in her ear. I am sorry. She hugged me and whispered back, what’s that for?
I didn’t answer and hugged her again, but what crossed this mind, was some one who’s respect for, I thought I had lost, suggested it in a rather unusual way.
It’s odd what you can see in a mirror when you aren’t confronting it square on.
You’re going to have to squeeze me a lot harder then that, after the last time. Hugs are better.
This time I would hope to think I’m just feeding the fish, I’ve set the pole aside. Worms for all, no hooks attached.
As far as the bolded portion. The moderation seems pretty good. I don’t see much and there don’t seem to be too many problems. Laissez-faire, it seems, as a base, which, if it works, is a good base. It seems like there are even areas with no moderation, but maybe that’s not true. I got a message once from a moderator, more or less, suggesting I tone down, seeing how I was doing. That seemed like a lovely approach. Not saying approaches have to be lovely, but it was, and I’d gotten out of hand.
lol
I weren’t brought up or educated to be, but you can exercise it all you want… all day long.
