The Medicalization of Love: A Talk by Brian D. Earp (Yale)

Brian D. Earp is Associate Director of the Yale-Hastings Program in Ethics and Health Policy at Yale University and the Hastings Center and a Research Fellow at the Uehiro Centre for Practical Ethics at the University of Oxford. His recent book Love Drugs has been praised by Peter Singer as ‘a fascinating account of a future that is starting to unfold right now’.

Is there a pill for love?
What about an ‘anti-love drug’, to help us get over an ex?

In this talk, Yale bioethicist and co-author of ‘Love Drugs: The Chemical Future of Relationships’ will argue that certain psychoactive substances, including MDMA - the active ingredient in Ecstasy - may help couples work through relationship difficulties and strengthen their bond. Others might help sever an emotional connection during a breakup. Such substances already exist and have transformative implications for how we think about love. Earp will build a case for conducting research into ‘love drugs’ and ‘anti-love drugs’ and explores their ethical implications for individuals and society.

The idea of drugs that intervene in our love lives might sound like one of the truly bad ones - a sinister-sounding ploy to subject yet more of our lives to the medical gaze. Once the door is pushed open, will drug companies dream up new love-related mental disorders that only they have the products to cure? Will the complexities of love be boiled down to localised neuronal firings, targetable with the right medication?

Whether this makes you feel horror – or a glimmer of hope in the despair of a love gone wrong, are our fears for the future of our relationships warranted?

Should these sorts of medications be a part of our society, or is a chemical romance right for us?

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSudEWBAYRE[/youtube]

From introvertdear.com

What Each Introverted Type Wants in a Relationship

ISFP
At times mysterious and shy, ISFPs can be difficult to get to know. But don’t let their enigmatic and somewhat aloof vibe fool you — ISFPs are deeply feeling individuals. These highly creative introverts are sensitive to the core and tend to listen more than they speak, sometimes coming across as private and moody.
Nevertheless, ISFPs can make wonderful partners, as they possess a level of warmth, charm, and enthusiasm that’s hard to find elsewhere (like many introverts, it simply takes time for their real personality to come out). Unlikely to ever grow “stale,” ISFPs are known to surprise their partners with new curiosities and adventures. These usually involve the five physical senses, for example, snow-shoeing by candlelight or browsing a pop-up antiques market.
So what do ISFPs need in their relationship to be happy? Security and reliability are great, sure, but they’re not necessarily what ISFPs crave. Rather, this affectionate introvert wants physical intimacy coupled with emotional intimacy: hugs and kisses that mean more than mere touch.

ISTP
Never dull, ISTPs embrace each new day and the adventures they bring — and they’re more than happy to take their significant other along for the ride (just one of the many reasons they can make excellent partners). Like ISFPs, ISTPs are rooted in the here and now and enjoy hands-on, real-world experiences. Give them a car engine to dissect any day over a theoretical analysis of the car’s impact on modern culture — or anything, really, that lets them use their hands.
Probably not the type to gush with flowery verses of love, ISTPs feel close when sharing simple experiences, like hiking a favorite trail or working on a project together. Never force things with an ISTP, as quick demands for commitment or a road map to the future will make them feel caged-in.
The introverted type most likely to shake things up just to see what will happen, ISTPs want the freedom to follow their own path — and a partner who understands this. In other words, you may need to give your ISTP a long leash.

ISFJ
Have you ever met an ISFJ on Tinder? It’s possible you have, but they were probably only hoping to blend in. Tradition-oriented and responsible, ISFJs don’t usually do flings and one-night stands just for the thrill of it. Rather, this routine-loving personality is at their best when clear expectations have been established. In other words, where is this going, and what do I mean to you?
ISFJs can make great partners because they genuinely care and want to make others happy. They also read people well, often sensing what they need on a practical level — a warmer coat for winter or a protein snack — and they’re more than happy to pitch in. But don’t take their big hearts for granted. ISFJs take their relationships seriously, and in turn, expect others to do the same.
Not knowing where they stand with someone, feeling like their status within a relationship could change at a moment’s notice, or simply not being able to envision a solid future with someone will leave an ISFJ quite unhappy. So what do ISFJs want? You guessed it. Security.

ISTJ
Similar to ISFJs, ISTJs probably won’t be found chasing their next relationship high. This “do it right” introvert takes dating seriously; no pick up artists or call you maybes here. If they’re looking for a partner, they’re looking for someone who checks all the boxes of their (reasonable and well-thought-out) relationship checklist.
Dependable and thorough, often representing the pinnacle of traditional family values, ISTJs can make great partners. It’s true, they can be difficult to get to know, on account of their reserved introverted nature and penchant for keeping their emotions to themselves. Nevertheless, they see it as their duty to protect, support, and provide for their family. If you’re under the wing of an ISTJ, you can be sure things will run as smoothly as possible (and on time).
As a result, ISTJs need a partner who has their back — someone they fully trust with the stuff of day-to-day life. Unreliable, easily distracted wanderers need not apply.

INFP
Strangers’ eyes meet from across a crowded room. Hands reaching for the same book on the bookshelf. Laughing and talking about life for hours. To the idealistic and romantic INFP, nothing could be better.
INFPs dream of the ultimate romance. They may even find themselves playing (and replaying) scenarios in their mind about how it will be. The type most likely to put their partner on a pedestal, they may go so far as to envision a role no real human can fill (he speaks five languages, has six-pack abs, and appeared on MasterChef?).
What INFPs want in a relationship, you can see in their eyes: romance. And that’s exactly why INFPs can make amazing partners. Although at times closed-off and moody, INFPs won’t hesitate to show their partner just how much they mean to them: a song, snatch of poetry, or sentimental gift.
Yet INFPs rarely smother. Understanding and kind-hearted, this introvert approaches relationships with a childlike sense of openness and trust. They may be passionate romantics, but they understand their partner’s need for space — because along with romance, it’s something they desperately need, too.

INTP
Never short on ideas, INTPs are known for their intellectual curiosity. Always seeking to understand — not necessarily to control or use — this introvert applies logic to all that they do. Often called the philosophers of the Myers-Briggs world, INTPs can make quick work of anything from quantum physics to the blueprints of their dream company. In the same way that ISTPs build with their hands, INTPs build with their minds.
Yet for all their mental prowess, they often struggle to connect with others. In part, this is due to feeling uncomfortable with emotional expression — both their own emotions and those of others. Plus, talk of quantum physics doesn’t usually equal party invites. Nevertheless, INTPs can make great partners because they’re flexible, eager, and deep down, romantic. Yes, you read that correctly. Underneath their hard logical armor is a heart born for love and made of squish.
INTPs know they won’t necessarily chase all their ideas to their natural end, but for them, that’s not the point: The value is in the ideation. They need a partner who doesn’t just tolerate their unique way of operating, but believes in it. In other words, someone who is as enthusiastic about all of life’s possibilities as they are.

INFJ
Everyone feels misunderstood from time to time. When someone honks at you in traffic. When someone misinterprets your words or actions. When you fight with your significant other. Yet for many INFJs, feeling misunderstood is a day-to-day experience.
Perhaps it’s not that INFJs are so wildly confusing that people cannot comprehend them. Rather, this introvert understands others so easily, almost in the blink of an eye. Often seeing the hidden things, the things others want shuttered, INFJs easily sniff out what’s really going on. Many of them are highly sensitive people, after all
For this reason, INFJs can feel made to understand but not be understood. And that brings me to what they crave in a romantic relationship: a deep sense that their partner “gets” the real them. It’s an emotionally intimate, “I see you for all that you are” connection.
This, of course, is a tall order, because none of us can ever truly walk in another’s shoes. But for INFJs, a little understanding goes a long way. This is why INFJs can make great partners themselves. Although at times their guarded and distrustful demeanor prevents it, when they care about you, they will work hard to know you on a deep level. You might even say that creating emotional intimacy is an INFJ superpower.

INTJ
Let’s be honest. Like other “Thinking” types, INTJs can get a bad rap for coming across as cold and robotic. They generally prize logic and efficiency over ooey-gooey emotions, and they’ve always got a goal they’re working toward — so either help them, or get out of the way!
Deep down in their steel-plated chests, INTJs do have a beating heart, and whether it’s readily apparent to them or not, even they need strong connections with other human beings to thrive. That’s right, Masterminds need love and support, too. This may look somewhat different for INTJs than it does for other types. Rather than “frivolous” expressions of feelings (emotions are things they generally keep private), they desire to connect mind-to-mind.
For the INTJ, this may look like sharing big ideas, talking earnestly about interesting topics, and generally romping together in an intellectual playground. All this high-minded effort is worth it, though, because INTJs can make wonderful partners; when they commit, they fully mean it.
Plus, as much as we all wish it, life (and relationships) are never smooth sailing, but that’s another area where INTJs can shine. Being born problem-solvers, they may work harder than any other personality type to overcome relationship problems as they crop up. Yep, they’re committed.

I am an introvert who does not want a relationship so none of those categories would apply to me
My philosophy in life with regard to human beings in general is to avoid them as much as possible

Your cheery nature never ceases to soothe my tumultuous soul, Surrep ; )

You have become much more engaging and vocal with the other… in recent months, and introverts do indeed find it difficult to pair up… no matter how attractive they may be, so perhaps us introverts need our own brand of love shot?

Having a think. Get back to you mags.

Thank you Tab… I look forward to reading your response.

I do not know how tumultuous your soul really is but from the outside it appears to have some serenity attached to it so is maybe not as tumultuous as you think it is

At my time in life I am becoming more detached because for me that is a natural process
Just learning to let go by not hanging on too much and accepting mortality as I slowly age

Are you looking for love ? I hope you find it but for me I want for nothing so I cannot complain

I am essentially a dull boring unimaginative soul so small wonder I am on my own but isolation is good for me and so maybe this was always meant to be
A natural organic changing of the mental gears that involves me being alone virtually all the time but without thinking of it in any way at all as negative

Becoming more interested in science and philosophy and religion and history while at the same time avoiding the temptation to take dogmatic positions

Learning to simply listen without the need to immediately have an opinion on it and particularly a dogmatic one whatever it may be
Being able to listen to anyone regardless of whether I will agree with them or not since that simply does not matter to me anymore

A hundred years from now I will be dead and no one will remember me but eventually there will be no one to remember anyone so me no cry
As long as I have enough to get by and my health holds up then I will have zero complaints but if not then so be it as whatever will be will be

Are those psychological classifications fixed or are they subject to change over time
I would say the latter as we are all in a state of evolution and nature is not absolute


This is something I really want to understand more so thanks for starting this thread Mags

Love’s a tough thing to get any kind of grasp on to be honest. It means so many things to so many people. A real blanket term.

I suppose the kind of love that immediately springs to mind is the classic romantic movie kind. And I’m guessing this is the type the pharmacists are busy trying to bottle.

Let’s say they succeed and the fairytale love potion becomes reality, along with its antidote, as if it were a poison lol, though from the op, its not so much presented as an antidote but more as an ameliorative agent to ease the feelings of heartache and loss when love ends or is cut short.

I’ve been heart broken twice. It hurts I’ll admit. Not forever, though who knows…? Those two times were due to break ups from short(ish) relationships. Perhaps my heart only got cracked a little. It was all a long long time ago. Thirty goddamn years. :astonished:

Would I have taken an anti-heartache pill at the time…? Hmm. Dunno. Maybe.

“Love is a religion of two.” Popped into my head fairly early on this morning when I was thinking about what my experience of love has been. Also it struck me that this is one subject that has very, very few experts lol. Say you want to be a doctor. 6 years of medical school, and still all you’re good for is an internship as a glorified stethoscope holder following a real doc around the wards. I didn’t really become anything approaching a good teacher until I’d been doing it for 10 years. How many people experience 10 year plus relationships these days…?

Sorry, wandering. So, on the horror story side. Someone spikes your drink with testube love. Boom, you’re in love with Spike the spiker. Depending on how well, how authentic a breed of love the dose engenders, would you even care if you’d been spiked or not…? Love overcomes all etc.

I don’t think you would. I think you’d go home with spike, and as long as Spike was even a half decent match, didn’t live on skid row with rats and have facial tattoos, I think you’d give it a go. How sad a thought is that. If you are single, you are astonishingly vunerable to love, whether you want it or not, whether you think you are ready or not, deserving or not, doesn’t matter - we are all at home to Mr. Cupid. Thinking back on how some of my relationships began - the utter randomness involved, the awesomely short amount of time it sometimes took to transition from single to not single - We are all potentially only an hour or so away from happy ever after.

Scary thoughts. Your friend tries to rescue you. Tries to give you the antidote. I think many would not only refuse but fight like hell not to take it.

Imagine if you are in a wonderful, loving relationship, something that is possibly the absolute center of your life, and someone comes along with a needle that will suddenly take all that away… If you’re not, imagine then that someone doses you with something and suddenly, you don’t love your mother anymore. Or your sister. Or your child…

How hard would you fight against that…?

Scenario 2. The love addicts. You have your love potion. You have your unlove potion. You have a free weekend, you have Tinder. Why not fall deeply in love, and be over it by work on monday…? Why not do that every goddamn weekend…? Why not get so used to doing that, that when you fall in love the old-fashioned way, by accident, you automatically unlove yourself in the groggy depths of monday morning…?

Scenario 3. For the love of big brother. Trump sees his popularity rating is trailing off. Time to love bomb the country.

The possibilities for abuse are insane.

But then, that movie-star love, that first blooming of love’s sweet blossom, the first embered breath of love’s flame, that kaboom in the club at 3am in the morning. Is that all love is really…?

Eh. Love’s seed perhaps. Love’s conception. Love before it can walk and wipe its own bottom.

Love is a religion of two. I’m old. 50 and a bit. I’ve been married now for 24 years. Couple more years and I will have been married for longer than I’ve not. To the same woman even. :smiley: Attention span of a Brontosaurus, even more so when you think I’ve spend my life in classrooms surrounded by 18 year old students with daddy issues. (Did that sound creepy…? Yeah, it did. Ouch. Sorry, I meant to imply that me and my wife don’t stay together because we are so desperately ugly no-one else could be with either of us and still keep their lunch down, and that we don’t live on a desert island with a collection of feral cats).

We love each other even when we don’t love each other very much. Peaks and troughs etc. We believe in each other I guess is the most honest way to put it. Our house is our church, and our holy book is a photograph album full of pictures of us looking less wrinkly.

That, I think, is beyond the skills of a chemist.

You got me there Surrep… I merely tease, mixed with a large dose of sarcasm. because you do not seem to have a cheery nature… but I could be totally wrong, though it should not be of my concern.

This thread isn’t about my wants… I thought it an interesting discussion point, especially as I had come across the Love Shot song by Exo a few weeks back, and so pondered on how are physiology is being taken over and ruled by synthetic hormones and endocrines… so why not love?

There goes that cheery nature of your’s, again : D… though I can relate on the solitude, but my political interests and family obligations gets me out of the house and into the world, of which I don’t mind.

Why… were you so, prior to the current incarnation of the former you, in being dogmatic… and maybe judgemental?

There is no wisdom in argument, but in more… thoughtful, exchange.

But best to ensure good health, by working on maintaining it, as such things shouldn’t be left to chance… a healthy diet and regular exercise should keep one in good stead.

Findings would suggest that they do change over time and with age, and that we become more introverted with age, which isn’t good news for those who are naturally very introverted… I am, but managed to circumvent those boundaries through gaining interpersonal skills and so then mixing with da homies, but now my psychic leash has pulled my energies back in to its original state of internalisation. I am glad for having had the experience, but I definitely wasn’t and am, no extrovert.

I shall post more pertinent data on the topic, and on personality types on other topics as well. Glad it’s of interest to you, as it is to me.

I think my sense of detachment and isolation might make me less cheery but I am not trying to be miserable at all
I want to avoid any emotional highs and lows and instead be in the middle experiencing neither of those extremes

I walk everywhere averaging maybe two / three miles on my days out and do weights when I am at home
I do not drink or smoke but live mainly on junk food but three out of four is not bad for a man of my age


So many books to read so much knowledge to learn but I carry on regardless

The older I get the more introverted I become but as I simply accept this then it is not actually a problem for me
It is good for my moral development as there is less distraction and I can really gaze long and hard into the abyss

This is actually considered “top secret” information, but mostly, I have loose lips…

Scientists have actually discovered to part of the brain that they need to stimulate with electrodes to FORCE love!

Pff that shit ain’t nothin new, bro. Delgado wuz doing that stuff back in the fitties. Ever seen the video of him turning an angered bull on and off with a remote control?

People think love is untouchable by science. It’s not. Revealing this would fuck a lot of people up.

You drop ecstasy, and fall in love on the dancefloor for a night. It might be indistinguishable from the real thing… until the drug wears off.

As far as I have experienced though, lol, “organic” love seems not to.

Try comparing it to taking steroids for quick muscle mass. It works, the muscles are real. You can stop the steroids, and the muscles will stay, but only if you maintain the lifestyle that requires them to stay. You flop around the house watching netflix and only lifting bags of crisps… then those muscles go.

Relationships are pretty much the same. Sure, maybe you could kickstart one with drugs, but unless both put the maintainance in afterwards, it would fade just like those muscles do. There are reasons people break up, and mostly those reasons aren’t about love. Two people can love each other, and still fuck things up. Money is a real love killer. Children, loss, alcohol, change, not enough change, secrets - all sorts of things. Love is usually the first thing to come, and the last thing to go.

You guys seem to think like a romantic comedy. That love is the be all and end all. It’s not. It’s just the ignition system.

Quote from an article on bbc news. At the moment it’s used for ptsd, but now trials are being done with people who have experienced bad romantic break ups.

Something to read whilst you gaze…

the love language of each introverted myers-briggs personality type

14 pickup lines that introverts will actually love

introflirted.com/page/2/ :laughing: