Do we dream less as we get older?

Despair is certainly an option, if you let it be. Depression is something I’ve been mercifully free of in my life, touch wood, but I know exactly how it affects others, and it’s not usually something that just goes away on its own. The solution to it is inspiration. Getting inspired by something, literally anything (doesn’t have to be group based, could be a personal passion for some field of study, for example), and becoming absorbed by it. The trick, though, is lighting that initial spark, and that always has to be down to the individual. But I’m sure that none of this is news to you.

If you like, I can outline some very simple grounding rituals that you might like to try out. Just a thought, anyway.

And, of course, thank you for the compliment when you called me intelligent, perceptive, and so on.

Yes, Macalla is brilliant. And here’s a particularly haunting version of the old folk classic, John Barleycorn Must Die.

youtube.com/watch?v=4oHLXMpl9L0

A very nice selection of songs you posted below, too. The third one, In the Hills of Shiloh, which I was only vaguely familiar with, was bit tearful, actually, in a good way.

The first of those points is clearly true, our values are indeed derived from our life experiences. Not so sure about the second, though, that there are no objective values that can be reached, as it’s just, as you say, an opinion, and a rather depressing one at that. My own opinion, and it is, of course, just an opinion, is that there is indeed an objective core of ethical values, as dictated by conscience. Since this opinion is more optimistic, if there’s no other way of choosing which is correct, then it’s probably best to go for the optimistic one, for all practical purposes.

And equally, I’m not at all sure there’s a way of knowing the best way to live, from philosophy alone. They’ve been at it for two and a half millennia, after all. Or maybe there is, and it’s been staring everyone in the face from the start. I’m more inclined to the latter opinion, because it’s more hopeful, and the answer is, be nice to people, and nice things happen to you.

As for those who lose their sight and their attitudes towards the visual appearance of any potential romantic partner, it surely varies from person to person. Some won’t care. And others will probably want to know what the individual looks like, not out of any shallow motivation, but in an effort to cling to the life they once had. Or maybe even just curiosity.

I think most people react to smell subconsciously. For me, it’s obvious, and, indeed, I can recognise anyone I know by their smell alone. But yes, smell is the first thing I notice when meeting someone, but then all the other factors come into play, too.

Yep, that’s how it can be for some. No doubt about it. Here, though, everything would seem to revolve around actual options. The ones there that you miss, or the ones there only if you go deep enough to think them up. Unless, of course, the depression is more of a clinical nature. In other words, derived from a brain that creates depression due to chemical and neurological interactions that aren’t working as they should be. Think William Styron’s Darkness Visible. Here sometimes only medication helps.

This just popped into my head:

Is it possible that just as some people are born blind, others are born depressed?

Here is one take on that: bustle.com/articles/103024- … -depressed

Excerpt:

“The short answer is yes, some people are born with a genetic makeup that makes them prone to depression — but that doesn’t mean they will automatically become depressed.”

On the other hand, with blindness, given the congenital relationship between the brain and the eyes, some are “automatically” blind for life. Unless science is able to change that. And how could someone blind from birth not hold out at least some hope of that?

Yes, the music is haunting but it was difficult to make out the words. At least on my own “cheap” laptop. And this [for me] is one of those songs where the music and the words come together in producing the most intense reaction.

As in, for example, Traffic’s cover: youtu.be/LdI057Rs3wY

Anne Louise White, a member of Trapezoid, taught my daughter voice lessons here in Baltimore. I vaguely recall that at Jessica’s last class, Anne had informed us that either she or her husband had contracted lupus. It’s all basically a blur now.

Oh, indeed. I wish that I could figure out a way to think myself into not believing what I do. In fact, that’s why, in part, I come to places like this. There is always the possibility that others can nudge me in a less cynical and pessimistic direction.

This seems practically beyond all doubt rooted in the lives of each of us as individuals. It only gets problematic when “for all practical purposes” one person who sincerely believes that one course of action is moral bumps into another who sincerely believes that another, conflicting, course of action is moral. Then what? Then it’s either “might makes right” where the one with the most power prevails, “right makes might” where both people can come to agree on one right behavior, or “moderation, negotiation and compromise” where they agree to disagree about right and wrong but are willing to come up with a resolution somewhere in the middle. Both of them get something but neither of them get everything.

That works for me too. Especially the part where the whole point of your interactions with another is to come up with a way in which to cause each other the least displeasure.

Here all we can do is to take it one close encounter at a time. If we ever even have such a close encounter…a situation in which we actually do befriend someone who was obsessed with “looks”, becomes blind, and then asks you if the person they just met is “pretty” or “handsome”.

I mean, what are the odds of that?!

I really have almost no understanding of what you mean by this. How could I? For me smell came into play [when I was interacting with others] only in situations where it was a very powerful smell…due to physical exertion or in a particular environment.

A question about your avatar here at ILP…

You have of course never seen it. Now, what I see is you kneeling down with an arm raised so that your hand covers most of your face. It almost looks as though you were taking a photograph with a really small camera.

So, I’m curious as to why you chose this? Were you aiming to tell us something about yourself? Or is it more or less something that “just happened”?

Leonard Cohen “The Partisan” youtu.be/hs5hOhI4pEE
Leonard Cohen “Who by Fire” youtu.be/ilGahIwQEQ0

Buffy Sainte-Marie “God is Alive, Magic is Afoot” youtu.be/i-GonR4S1to
Aphrodite’s Child “Loud Loud Loud” youtu.be/uAhbVzwzZ6

Yes, it’s clear that depression, or at least a predisposition to depression, can be genetic. It even seems to run in families. But, as the article pointed out, having a genetic predisposition to depression doesn’t mean they’ll actually get it. But, you know, we all have to play the hand we’re dealt with, because that’s the only option. We should be genuinely thankful for, and make the very best of what you’ve been given, rather than wasting our lives away wishing for things we can’t have. And, as you say, I’m blind for life, but to be honest, it’s nowhere near as bad as most people seem to imagine, a point I really hope I’ve managed to drive home in everything I’ve been saying.

On the subject of medication, while I accept that there are certain conditions where it’s essential, I personally try and avoid it like the plague. Too often, doctors dope their patients up to the eyeballs and turn them into addicts, but filling my body with artifical chemicals just doesn’t appeal to me, and would go against my long-term quest for purification. I’m lucky, of course, to be blessed with good health, so those less fortunate than me would have perfectly valid reasons for a different opinion.

Ok, let’s try something. Can you describe to me, in detail, the place where you live, layout of rooms, and so on. And then, describe to me, from beginning to end, your average day, say, yesterday.

That’s very interesting to know. Not so much that a member of that band taught your daughter (interesting though it is), but that you have a daughter.

Thanks for the selection (the last one wouldn’t play, though, but that’s sometimes the case because of copyright issues in different countries). Here’s another good’n.

youtube.com/watch?v=rmsrfivdKPQ

The problem of conflicting opinions leading to actual conflicts is not, I think, a philosophical issue. Perhaps it should be, in an ideal world, but it isn’t. It’s a political and social issue. Humans are social creatures, and over time have evolved highly complex societies, which include rules of behaviour, designed, or rather evolved, to meet this precise issue, namely, how can conflict be contained. In some cases, people have sat down and actually written a constitution, the USA being the archetypal example. In other cases, such as the UK, no constitution has ever been drawn up, it has just evolved over time as needs demanded. Legislation, or constitutions, may be influenced by philosophy, but laws are, in practice, backed up by consensus. There is a consensus in any society among the actual people themselves that certain modes of behaviour are ok, and others aren’t, and these evolve too, as the culture itself evolves.

I would say that the most satisfying way of living is not so much just causing the least displeasure, as actively seeking ways to cause pleasure. Within reason, I hasten to add.

I took my profile pic myself, with my brother’s camera, in front of a mirror with him directing, about ten years ago now. That’s the uniform of the leisure centre, by the way, where the senior citizens’ club meets. We did a few, for me to use online, but he assured me that was the cutest.

And that neatly leads onto something I’ve been wondering. I’ve been a member here for nine years, so why wait till now, this past month, to engage me in conversation? Just curious, that’s all, about the workings of fate.

Yes, I often come back to this. The profoundly problematic interaction of genes and memes that can produce literally countless combinations of variables in the lives of each of us as individuals. Some at birth and others throughout the course of our life from the cradle to the grave. And then the equally [at times] convoluted part where sometimes some things are beyond our control but then other times other things are not. It may well be a miracle that we are able to communicate our lives to each other as well as we do.

Yes, well put. You are able to live a rewarding life given the things that you can’t control and the things that you can. How can that not be the basic goal for all of us?

Clearly, to the extent that someone is able to avoid medication, they should. And then the part where drugs become just one more commodity that others are able to sell in order to make lots and lots of money. So, naturally, from their point of view, the more pills and injections and doses the better. It always comes down to thinking through your own situation to the best of your ability and [hopefully] finding doctors that you truly trust to give you the best advice.

I live in a really nice brick apartment complex near the water. The rooms are typical of most apartments here: living room, dining room, bedroom, kitchen and bathroom. But, for me, the center of the universe is my recliner. On either side of it is my stereo, the stack of books I am currently reading, my magazines, the television, my laptop, the internet and cable modem.

Of course I can’t help but wonder how you would describe your own living quarters.

Now, in hardly ever leaving my apartment, my days are all pretty much the same. I am either online, reading, watching a movie, listening to music, tuning into PBS, HBO and the Science Channel, or doing crostic puzzles. For years now, and I still never ever get bored and, in having become my own best friend, am quite comfortable with the life I live.

Now, there’s a long story. Going back to a marriage in which my ex-wife left me for another woman, and then straight out of Kramer vs. Kramer, she left with her lover Jackie. And for a few years I raised Jessica on my own. Then she was back and it was joint custody. Then a really, really complex twist in which Jess and I don’t really see each other anymore. We’re still in touch…but barely.

Ill try another youtube video. And include another song from 666 to see if that too is “blocked”.

Aphrodite’s Child “Loud Loud Loud” youtu.be/37nZHiVoh9Y
“Break” youtu.be/ZIBgX2m18sA

Aphrodite’s Child is really not a folk band, but these two songs are kind of “folkish” to me.

The man who created the band is Vangelis Papathanassiou – or just Vangelis to most of us. He created what, to my ears, is one of the most beautiful songs of all time: youtu.be/C9KAqhbIZ7o

The love theme from Blade Runner. I can’t help but wish that you could see the video that goes with it. The interaction between Harrison Ford and Sean Young.

Yes, all of this seems reasonable for all practical purposes. If only in those communities/nations that do not revolve around “might makes right” i.e., theocracies, monarchies, dictatorships, survival of the fittest mentalities…or those communities/nations that do not revolve around “right makes might”, i.e., more or less totalitarian communities/nations that revolve around one or another authoritarian ideological agenda.

The U.S. and the U.K., with or without a Constitution, have evolved historically into the third type of government: a democracy rooted in the rule of law. Revolving more or less around moderation, negotiation and compromise.

This works for me as the “best of all possible worlds”, but…

…but I am still no less fractured and fragmented given my own reaction to what I call “conflicting goods”. Or what William Barrett called “rival goods”:

“For the choice in…human [moral conflicts] is almost never between a good and an evil, where both are plainly marked as such and the choice therefore made in all the certitude of reason; rather it is between rival goods, where one is bound to do some evil either way, and where the the ultimate outcome and even—or most of all—our own motives are unclear to us.”

Yes, now it comes back to me. Didn’t you offer us an opportunity to choose which picture you would use as your profile pic? I can’t remember what the other ones were but…but was the one you did choose as a result of what those here suggested or was it all on your brother’s shoulder?

Let me think about that…

I do remember responding to a few of your posts. But you’re right: why now for a more extended conversation?

Well, having thought about it some, as you may or may not know, I have a fascination with dreams. In particular how they relate to the debate revolving around free will and determinism. So I clicked on your post originally because it was about dreams.

But then I started thinking: Dreams? How can blind people dream?! Again, I have almost no experience with blindness other than through film characters who were blind. And, to the best of my knowledge, dreams never came up in these films.

And, truth be told, I am still not really able to imagine dreams that did not involve sight.

Given that, if you ever have any particular vivid or exceptional dreams down the road, I really would be interested in your attempts to describe them as you experienced them.

The subject of medication brings up a bit of a dilemma for me, where my intuition says one thing, but compelling logical arguments say another. The covid vaccine has not yet been offered to those in my age group, but it’s only a matter of time before I get the call. On a purely personal level I’m sure I don’t need it, since covid surely poses little risk for me even in the unlikely event that I caught it, but I have to think of others who I might pass it on to. My parents, who are in their fifties, have both had the first AstraZeneca dose, and it did them no harm, apart from some mild side effects, and I definitely don’t subscribe to the wilder conspiracy theories about it. Of much more immediate concern than that, though, are the elderly people I work with at the leisure centre. All of them have now had both doses, which has allowed the club to meet again, and as a member of staff, who works with them, I could, if I wanted to, have the jab myself, at any time. Indeed, there has been talk of making it compulsory for everyone who works there. I suppose that what I’ll end up doing is having it either when I get the call, or if they make it compulsory at work. But I’m not happy about it, and this must be a good example of your point about conflicting evidence and opinions.

Your flat sounds really nice, especially being near water, which I think always makes a very big difference to the atmosphere and energies of a place. I asked because I wanted something more definite to imagine, while writing responses and thinking about them. I live in a ground floor flat in a fairly small block, with a communal garden both out the front and the back. Not near water though, sadly. I have one large living room five and a half metres by four, with a small kitchen between the back entrance and the living room, and another door leading to the bedroom and bathroom. The garden out the front, surrounded by trees, is a really nice place for picnics with a few friends in the summer.

I’m glad to hear that you’re still in touch with your daughter, if only barely. Again, there is always hope for a better future. As for your wife leaving you for another woman, yes, you’re right, sounds like something straight out of some awful sitcom. Sorry to hear about it though, anyway. My own experiences of a romantic nature have been rather less than successful (my standards are probably a little too exacting, or so I’ve been told), and for the past three years or so, I’ve decided to swear off it completely.

Thanks, all of those videos played just fine. I wasn’t very familiar with Vangelis, though I have, of course, heard of Blade Runner.

For my own musical offering, since it’s Friday, how about Rebecca Black? Just kidding. How about Tuesday Afternoon instead?

youtube.com/watch?v=GEMuAnFH_lM

Yes, I remember when I offered people the opportunity to choose which pic I should use, hehe. I decided to stick with the first one in the end, though, as per my brother’s opinion.

I’ll certainly describe any interesting dreams I have, if you like, because I find the subject fascinating too, though they’ve been pretty sparse lately. A lot of my dreams involve recurring themes (though not in the same settings), and one in particular I’ve noticed involves something like a spiral staircase, or sometimes a spiral slope, in a fairly confined space, with gaps in it that I have to climb down, or up.

Welcome to the real world as some might say. We are all in a particular situation that others may or may not have any actual understanding of at all. And then there are all of these variables that we have to weigh in order to make what can only be a more or less reasonable and educated choice. I think where the fanatics come into play here is when they link their reaction to things like pandemics and lockdowns and masks and vaccines to one or another political ideology. Especially in regard to their views about the Government and Big Brother. Which is basically how the author of Blindness depicts the authorities in his novel.

The irony here being that while they put so much stock in being “rugged individuals” who get the way the world works that all the rest of us don’t, they always insist that only if you think exactly like they do can you be a “rugged individual” too.

My own close encounter with medication revolved around a time in my life when I was pummeled on all sides by what I came to call “stresspools”. The anxiety had reached the point where it triggered ungodly attacks of vertigo. I was really, really reluctant to go down the pill path myself but Dr. Palmisano, someone I trusted, convinced me to try Paxil. It was nothing short of, well, a miracle? Not only was the anxiety tamped down, but my actual personality itself became less turbulent, hostile, grim. Everyone at work, the woman I was with, my daughter, all commented on it.

But that was me. Then. For others the experience might be very difference. When my daughter’s boyfriend committed suicide in New York, she was prescribed Paxil. Nothing. Then she was prescribed Prozac. It worked. It still works. She was able to graduate from Oberlin college with a MFA degree and now teaches art at a local community college where I was once a student myself.

No, there does not seem to be a way around the parts in life that tug us in different directions. There are only the parts we have some measure of control over and the parts we don’t. I hope that all of these parts come together for you in a way that you are most hoping for.

Me, in living in my own imploded cocoon world, I have almost no interactions with the “real world”. So, these days, I wonder, am I lucky then?

Flat. That sounds so much more appealing to me than apartment. And since we both seem to be quite content and comfortable living in our respective flats, we can both be grateful for that. Liking where you live is no small thing.

And though the water is a river and not the ocean I still enjoy being able to go down to it.

Also, I am told that former President Richard Nixon once lived in these apartments way back when. Mine, maybe?

We just came to be passionate about different things. For her, art. For me, philosophy. Then as I began to implode and pull back from my interactions with others, we just started seeing each other less and less. Now we stay in touch virtually and it’s understood that if she needs me or I need her, we are there for each other. And I am also very, very proud of what she was able to accomplish given all the trials and tribulations in her own life.

Romance has always been something that pulled and tugged me in, well, how to put this, incompatible directions? The thing about the relationships I loved was in always having someone I could share those experiences with that really meant the world to me. I miss that most of all. But then relationships always put you on the spot when you want to do one thing and your partner another. Again, I have been surrounded by people all my life. And now it just feels nice to have my life all to myself. Everything I do I do only because that is what I want to do.

Though clearly that is not for everyone. I’ve had the best of both worlds and I’m really satisfied with the way things are for me now. As, it seems, are you. But, who knows, we are back to that proverbial next corner and not really knowing for sure what or who might be around it.

My own favorites from them:
“The Actor”: youtu.be/Qbm9nI_FBuQ
“Watching and Waiting”: youtu.be/eYenQ5C77nk
“Higher and Higher”: youtu.be/mC7jXpGy_Ik

Although, for me, this is still one of the most beautiful songs ever recorded: youtu.be/VqW-eO3jTVU

Sparse my own dreams are not. Every night I seem to be deluged with them. And recurring themes for sure. Since I almost never have nightmares or “bad dreams”, I always look forward to them myself. In them I can do things, see things, feel things, touch things, taste things that are completely out of reach now for me in the “real world”.

And spirals seem revealing to me. Like windows and doors.

That’s good news that you had a positive experience with medication, and that it made such a dramatic improvement in your life. And for your daughter too, and I’m glad she has what sounds like an interesting and creative job. I fully understand, of course, your reluctance to go down that route, as I would feel the same.

With regard to the fanatics, the conspiracy theorists, it’s all rather amusing and boring at the same time. Have you heard the one, for example, where all the governments of the world have conspired to create a drug, that is, the vaccine, designed to kill 90% of the population? By pushing this sort of stuff, what they don’t seem to realise is that they’re actually putting people off investigating any legitimate issues that might (or might not) exist. Or then again, perhaps they do, and are secretly part of a conspiracy…

What’s absolutely clear is that the vaccine rollout in the UK has been a huge success, and has virtually brought the pandemic here to an end, more or less. And this, I think, is what finally swayed me, after quite a lot of indecision, to accept the vaccine when it’s offered to me. Namely, a feeling that we’re all in this together, and we all have to make sacrifices (in this case, admittedly, the very minor sacrifice of having the vaccine), for the greater good.

It’s funny you saying that “flat” sounds much more appealing, because the term “apartment” is occasionally used here for very expensive, upmarket flats. Mostly in London, a place I tend to avoid at all costs. And Richard Nixon is just the icing on the cake, hehe.

It does indeed sound like your daughter is someone to be proud of, and I’m glad she’s happy. That’s always the best thing we can wish for a person, and the best gift to give, if we can.

Yes, at the moment, I would indeed describe myself as satisfied being single, but as you say, who knows what’s in store? In 2009 I fell suddenly, deeply and crazily in love with a guy I’d just met (at a Pagan moot, as it happens, but in my defence, I was only 18 at the time) but that, sadly, didn’t work out, and everyone I’ve dated (if that’s the right word) since then just hasn’t measured up, so basically, I just stopped.

Yes, The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face, a very beautiful song indeed.

Lucky you, being deluged with dreams. Yes, I really like them too, and I never have nightmares either, if you define a nighmare as something that causes genuine fear. The characteristic feature of a dream, I think, is the intense emotion that goes along with it. Much more intense than anything in real life (mostly). And then there’s that state when you’re just waking up and the dream is still in your head, and just for a split second, you’re not sure which is real. And then, later in the day, bits of the same dream might pop into your head for no reason whatsoever.

Another recurring theme with me is one where I’m trying to find something, or much more often, someone. Thinking about it has led me to remember some, and they often involve travel. So for example, there’s a bus route in my home city that goes all the way round the outer suburbs in a massive circle. In one dream I was walking round this route on foot, but the places I came to on my journey were nothing like the actual places in real life. I was trying to find someone (I don’t know who), but they always remained one step ahead of me. Many of my dreams involve underground rooms, or, in one case, a whole street with shops and things, that could be accessed via a spiral staircase (again) or something similar, at any rate, that led to the surface, at a location close to my parents’ house.

So spirals are a bit like doors and windows, which always lead somewhere else?

Like everyone else, all I can do is wait and see. Something will pop up in my life and it will involve the need to choose or not to choose medication. I’ll calculate to the best of my ability the interplay between all of the variables involved and take that existential leap. Anyway, I’ll keep you informed about my own quandaries if you’ll keep me informed about yours.

And, as you may or may not know, we’ve got quite a few of those fulminating fanatics right here. In fact, some will now suggest, the lunatics may well have already taken over the asylum. Fortunately, there are still those around who are willing to go a little deeper in exploring such dire threats as viral pandemics.

That’s really all we can do. First, we need to be given the opportunity to voice our opinions about things like vaccines. Then we need to recognize that there may well be legitimate arguments pro and con. Then accept that some – medical scientists – have more expertise than others in grappling with possible solutions. Then, factoring in a well thought out understanding of our own unique situation, making an informed choice.

I recall an exchange with MagsJ in which I noted other words that are used where you are that appealed more to me than the words we use here. Words like “mate” and “bloody” and “chips”. Why? No clue actually.

She is now doing what I once thought I would be doing myself: teaching. And she also creates art as well. Actual works of art. And not just “worlds of words” that most philosophers “think up”.

No doubt about it. Make them measure up. Of course when you meet someone who insists that you measure up as well then a real tug of war can begin. I have only had one relationship however in which that was the case. I think we both came to agree that we did measure up. Only she had married a man in order to get her green card and I pushed her too hard and she vanished into thin air. Then a few years later, she was back in my life but no longer did measure up. She had abandoned deconstruction and semiotics and language games for biology and chemistry and physics.

Again, just out of curiosity, was the guy you loved sighted? If so, were you able to construct a relationship in which the communication found a way to bridge the gap between these two worlds given particular situations? Or, sure, if you’d prefer not to go there, no problem. I’m just always drawn to how we interact with others given the things we share in common and the things we don’t.

That’s basically how it works for me as well. Maybe for all of us. For myself, however, the emotions I had/have in “real life” come back in the dream in a truly empathic manner. The dream experiences are always so much more visceral because, well, for some reason my brain doesn’t seem interested in coming to grips with my dream world interactions “philosophically”.

And that’s fine with me!!!

Dreams themselves are always mindboggling. In them it’s like my brain itself seems to be attempting to figure me out. It puts me in contexts I have been in many, many, many times and then seems to say, “Okay, what about now”? They say there are those who are “experts” in interpreting dreams. So, maybe you could take your dream above to one of them, and, in knowing as much as possible about your life, he or she could “tell you what it means”.

Only with me I almost always know what the dream is telling me, but: as with the real deal experiences themselves this doesn’t really offer me much help in attaching them to a “larger meaning”. It’s just another rendition of feeling fractured and fragmented. Only with a more potent emotional punch.

Thus…

…lead me only deeper into the profound mystery that is “me”.

Ralph McTell

“Zimmerman Blues” youtu.be/236opOtuv6w
“Streets of London” youtu.be/DiWomXklfv8

Yes, I’ll certainly keep you informed about any upcoming quandries, and I’ll look forward to hearing how you resolve yours, too. Each situation is unique, and perhaps no hard and fast guidelines are possible. Intuition, logic and all sorts of other things must always come into play, including, as always, chance. My overriding principle is how to live as naturally, and independently, as possible.

Yep, I know all too well about the fulminating fanatics here. I suppose they can’t do any harm. Not here, anyway. Scaring people off from taking the vaccine, especially if they are in a vulnerable group, is the only sure fire way of keeping the pandemic going and killing thousands more people.

Perhaps British English has a tendency to short, punchy words. It’s an interesting subject though, how languages develop and diverge, and how they are used. In Wales, specifically North Wales, they still speak Welsh as their main, everyday language, although they can, of course, all understand and speak English too. Nevertheless, in buses, shops, and everywhere else, it’s Welsh that they use. That’s one of the reasons why it’s such a fascinating place to visit. Welsh is actually a very beautiful language, with a nice lilt to it and a lot of soft consonants. Here are some examples of it, if you haven’t heard it before.

youtube.com/watch?v=mCjLWzRUZik

Anything creative is always wonderful, and good for the spirit, too. What sort of works of art does your daughter specialise in?

Yes, the guy I loved was sighted. So, indeed, have been the others I’ve had tentative sorts of dates with since. I basically don’t hang around with blind people any more, since leaving school. It didn’t really seem to be an issue with him, and we most definitely had all the right chemistry. But I was never really sure if it was going to become an issue, or if deep down he felt it was something that was going to be a barrier between us. Perhaps I was just young and naive, but it ended pretty much before it even began. I’ve never felt the same way with anyone since, which I suppose is what I meant when I said that they never measured up. It certainly wasn’t their fault.

But in terms of actual communication, I don’t think that was ever a problem, or rather, I didn’t think so, anyway. In fact, I was looking forward to exploring each other’s worlds together. It would have been fun, I think, while getting to know each other.

Visceral is indeed a good word to describe the emotions of dreams, and there is certainly no logic involved. It’s fascinating how the mind seems to cobble together an almost coherent story out of them. Not sure what I think about professional dream interpreters though. As you say, what the dream is saying should be pretty obvious.

Thanks, Ralph McTell is definitely brilliant.

Here’s something a bit different. Fungus on Mars! Can you have a look at the pic and tell me what it looks like, please?

futurism.com/scientists-fungus-growing-mars

That’s really all there is in the end. Something important happens to us and we either have others we can talk to about it or we don’t. Those who are as genuinely interested in understanding how we have come think and to feel about it as we are interested in understanding how they have come to think and to feel about the important experiences in their own life. The rest is then groping as best we can to come up with an exchange that best communicates something that we react to in, at times, different worlds.

Okay, let’s agree: you are aware of them over there and I am aware of them over here. And that we can only react to them as best we can. And hope that it doesn’t reach the point where they can do great harm.

Yes, and even among those who speak English, the word pronunciations can be so far removed from the manner in which I understand them, I am simply unable to follow the conversations. Well, not in “real life” so much as in films. There have been movies I’ve watched [especially those set in Scotland] in which even though the language spoken is English, I can only follow the plot by using subtitles. In fact, there are a handful of small films set there that did not provide subtitles. I was barely able to finish the films because I couldn’t connect the words being spoken with the things that they did.

Here’s a humorous video that explores Irish and Scottish accents: youtu.be/k3AgxhGU4JU

Exactly like your own video. Well, to my ears. Is that actually English that they are speaking? I could follow, well, nothing that was said.

Drawing, painting, creations with cloth. Her work is more in sync with what is called “modern art”. The world of art that I am least familiar with. And attracted to. Works that resonate with me, well, not much at all. It’s more an aesthetic, subjective, subjunctive experience. Whereas, as with philosophy, I am more inclined towards art/words that seek to explore human interactions more existentially…in terms of the behaviors that we can communicate most effectively in making others understand what we mean.

Yes, this is the part in almost all relationships where we never seem able to be entirely certain if our partner “gets” us and our world. And it could be in regard to any number of things. Physical, intellectual, emotional, spiritual. I was once involved in a relationship where I felt truly anchored to an extraordinary emotional bond. The chemistry was smoking. But the things that were most important to me outside the relationship – music, philosophy, political commitment – were of almost no interest to her. I was drawn and quartered. When I ended the relationship, she sent me a letter in which she pointed out that I might find this “perfect women” but there would always be something that kept it from being as powerful as the relationship that we shared. And to this day that has turned out to be exactly true.

And it’s often futile to try to assess or to assign blame or fault. There are simply too many factors that get all tangled up in lives that ever and always change over time.

Still, I find it hard to understand why you would not choose to be around others who were blind. But, here, again, I can only imagine myself becoming blind. And needing that empathy.

So: Is that something you would feel comfortable telling me about? Clearly, for each of us there are “personal things” that we prefer to keep to ourselves. I’m just one those people who, in being fascinated with why different people do different things in similar situations, tend to be less uncomfortable with revealing things about myself. Everyone is unique here.

And, true, this is a “public forum” so privacy is all the more problematic here.

Yes, visceral is one of my favorite words. That and intuitive. They both seem to convey this sense of reality that combines elements of the id, the ego and the superego. But “in dreams” it appears to be the brain itself that conducts the orchestra. And, speaking for myself, I’m here to give mine a standing ovation.

futurism.com/scientists-fungus-growing-mars

Okay, I’ll do my best.

In the photograph at the top of the page, there appear to be these things that to me resemble tennis balls. Of different sizes. So, if I were to become blind and held one of these things in my hand, I would say, “this feels like a tennis ball…mostly round and fuzzy on the surface”.

The next time you hold a tennis ball in your hand, that’s what you can’t see here.

On the other hand, one of them is more like two tennis balls fused together in the middle…which is narrower. For the sighted, it looks like cells dividing in the womb.

Then the part where they might actually be examples of “life on Mars”. And then “my thing” here: exploring and explaining how each of us as individuals would react to that in so many different ways.

This Mortal Coil “The Jeweller”: youtu.be/aghket3BJPE

This Mortal Coil “Song To The Siren”: youtu.be/HFWKJ2FUiAQ

The video I posted was actually in Welsh, so it’s not surprising you couldn’t understand a word! As a Celtic language, Welsh isn’t even all that closely related to English, though it’s full of English loan words, and, though you wouldn’t think so to listen to it, lots of Latin ones as well, dating from the time when Britain was part of the Roman Empire. That’s another reason why I find dialects and things like that fascinating, because they are living embodiments of history.

Sounds lovely, all that arty stuff. Maybe I should give it a try…

It seems that the person you’re describing there is “the one that got away” (regardless of who dumped whom), the one your mind keeps going back to over and over again, and wondering, what if? I suppose I’ll never know if that guy was put off by me being blind, because there’s no way he would ever have admitted it.

As for why I don’t tend to hang around with other blind people, a number of factors are at work here. For a start, none of my friends from school actually live anywhere near where I do. We keep in touch, of course, but rarely meet up. True, there’s a branch of the RNIB in my city, and I very occasionally attend events, such as their national conference a few years ago. But to be honest, I actually find all that a bit boring, and the politics annoying. I also find sighted people, in general, far more interesting (not to mention far more numerous), and would choose their company any day. That may well put me in something of a minority among blind people, but probably not as much as you might think. When I want to hang out among like-minded people, talk things over, and so on, it’s to my Pagan friends that I go.

I’m always happy to discuss anything you like. I doubt anyone else is still reading our random ruminations on life, the universe and everything any more, anyway, but even if they are, that’s fine. If you’ve taken the trouble to write to me, and to share your thoughts and feelings, then I’ll always do the same in return.

And talking of random ruminations, what do you like to eat? As you know, I’m currently in a vegetarian phase, and have just made myself a very mild curry with chopped apple, new potatoes, cherry tomatoes and butter beans with melted Stilton and grated Cheddar, which I’m eating right now, between typing.

Thank you, that was a good description, and I’m sure that won’t be the last time I ask for something like that. As for actual life on Mars, I notice that the article has been roundly debunked by a whole load of sceptics. This will keep on happening right up to the moment that they actually find it. If it really is confirmed one day, I think I would be very happy. The life-force finds a way, anywhere and everywhere.

Thanks for the links. The first one reminded me of Sonic Youth’s version of Superstar.

youtube.com/watch?v=Y21VecIIdBI

Here’s another one I like, Eternal Flame by the Bangles. The phrase “eternal flame” actually has an important spiritual meaning for me, which has nothing at all to do with this song (though might be why I like it).

youtube.com/watch?v=PSoOFn3wQV4

And, in a change of mood, but still on the theme of Mars, Forever Autumn, sung by Justin Hayward, of Moody Blues fame, in Jeff Wayne’s War of the Worlds.

youtube.com/watch?v=WVe7EoRKoXY

But the one that really made me cry was the next track on the same album, Thunder Child, sung by Chris Thompson. A single ship, all on its own, valiantly battling it out against overwhelming and incomprehensible odds, and then getting sunk, is very poignant.

youtube.com/watch?v=4RRe40O6QKU

That’s good to know! I actually thought it was English. I was bewildered because I could not make out anything at all that they were saying. And these seemed to be sophisticated, educated, articulate men and women. I thought the problem must be me.

Yes, language is something that many simply take for granted. Few stop to think about the extraordinary journey that particular words/sounds have taken down through the ages. And then the part that most intrigues me: how different people can hear the same language and react to it in different [sometimes conflicted] ways. It’s like people hearing the same song…some loving it, others hating it.

How does that come to be?

There’s a movie that I really like called Blind Beast. Unfortunately the trailer is no longer available. It is the story of a blind man who creates a world all his own by reconfiguring art from the visual into the tactile. He kidnaps a woman and is obsessed with creating a sculptured likeness of her. Then their relationship takes on a rather, well, ghastly trajectory. But for him touch is everything.

What keeps playing out in my mind over and over again is this: would I have chosen different…if I could? The thing is that she turned out to be right. But that was never a certainty. I came close with Supannika [the green card woman I noted above] and there was always the possibility that I might have found someone that I could be absolutely crazy about…and who did share my passions.

It just never happened.

Of course there is no way I can actually understand this. And the reason is simple: I’m not you. I have almost no understanding of the life that you have lived, the experiences that you have had, the people you have met. And I can only attempt to scratch the surface in understanding it up to a point in exchanges like this one. On the other hand, like you, being around “like-minded” people is also very important to me. If only, here and now in my life, virtually.

There’s just something about the reality of blindness – of imaging myself blind – that would propel me towards finding a close friend who shared this world with me. But, then, as you note, being blind from birth is a whole other kind of blindness. Something that is forever beyond my understanding.

Yes, this has been a really rewarding exchange. And it’s nice to know for both of us. Let’s keep it going and see what pops up.

As with much of my life these days, the food I eat has become just another part of the routine. I pretty much eat the same things day after day. Fruits and vegetables, nuts, chicken, fish, bagels. It’s always healthy food however and despite it being routine, it never stops being delicious. Although, admittedly, I do miss the trips to the restaurants I would go to with my daughter.

On the other hand, you seem to be entirely more inclined to explore the world of food more…adventuresomely?

Please do.

What can possibly be more mysterious than the evolution of matter into biological life on Earth? Any attempt to explain it takes you to things like the gods, or to a God/the God…or to nature itself.

Or, as Dr. Ian Malcolm once put it: youtu.be/kiVVzxoPTtg

Yes, this is one of my favorite cover songs of all time. The voice, the music seem to zero right in on how mysterious and fragile and enigmatic relationships can be. Every time I listen to it, I go tumbling back to the most haunting relationships in my life.

Thanks for all the songs that you send my way. Keep them coming please.

Silly Sisters “The Old Miner” youtu.be/KcKc8a7vxhs

Priscilla Herdman “The Band Played Waltzing Matilda” youtu.be/BNu_Brs0EvQ

It is indeed strange how people can hear exactly the same words, or songs, and have completely different reactions to them. And a good thing too, of course, if not taken to extreme.

I’m sure there’s always still time for any of us to find our true love, if it’s meant to be. Hope is eternal, as they say.

Yes, that’s absolutely right. If you lost your sight, you’d be in a very different position to me, and I can fully understand why you would feel that way. That’s one particular trauma that I’ll never, ever have to experience. For me, my life is just completely normal.

A rewarding exchange indeed, and I look forward to the next installment.

Adventuresome, definitely! I like preparing food for people, and before the lockdown I had got into a routine of inviting a few friends over on Fridays and cooking for them. While I can’t say it was always a success, I can definitely say it was always from the heart. My little “dinner parties” have been more sporadic of late, but I’m sure we’ll be settling down into the old routine again soon.

Yes, I’ll certainly keep the songs coming, whenever I think of some. And thanks for your selection (the first one wouldn’t play again, though, sadly).

I’m off to York in June, by the way, not sure exactly when, though. This has become something of an annual tradition for me, going up and staying with a friend for a few days, and sometimes attending a local Pagan event, if one’s on. I even went last year, between lockdowns. York is a really nice city, packed full of medieval buildings and narrow, cobbled streets. It also, allegedly, has lots of ghosts, and even has ghost tours. The Roman and medieval walls of the city are still largely extant, and it’s possible to walk round them, and one of the pubs in the city centre still has part of the Roman fortress in its foundations. We will also probably go to the coast, most likely to a town called Flamborough, which has even more ancient remains, including a huge Neolithic earthwork called Dane’s Dyke. Again, supposedly haunted. A couple of years ago, at my insistence, my friend and I went round all the pubs in the town, talking to the locals about the folklore of the area, collecting stories. It was really fascinating, and a whole lot of fun, too.

Yes, I like that point. It would be a grim world to live in if we all reacted the same [like robots] to all the words and songs that we hear. Of course here, in turn, where each of us as individuals draws the line in regard to what is or is not extreme is also going to be ultimately uncertain and enigmatic.

I remember once exploring this in regard to a particular song. This one: youtu.be/xJeWySiuq1I

It was with a woman that I was exchanging “mixed tapes” with. I had mentioned that it was one of my favorite songs, and she admitted that she, well, hated it. So we went back and forth trying to explain why we felt what we did. But it was futile of course. From my point of view, it all basically fits into my understanding of the “self” as a complex and, in the final analysis, inexplicable aggregation of all the different factors in our lives that come to create all of our diverse reactions to things like “musical taste”. What tends to bug me here the most are those who insist that some genres are “better” than others. Always the ones they prefer. Me, I’m all over the map musically…as can be noted on my music thread here.

Well, let’s hope that is true.

Yes, and how strange that might seem to those who, in always having been sighted, will consider that to be the only possible normal. I think my reaction here goes back to my own existential obsession with empathy. The yearning on my part to find those who are most like me in regard to the “big things” in my life. If I were to become blind, I would want to share my passions in turn with someone who was also able to once see. Beyond that though I’m not able to go.

Just as you asked me to reconfigure what I saw in the Mars photo into words, do you ever ask your friends to describe as best they can the food that you prepare for them? Again, for some, it would just seem strange to consume something and never see what you are eating. Unless, of course, as with you, that could never be strange because you never could see it. Back to that at times ineffable gap between these three worlds. The always blind, the once sighted, the always sighted.

Thanks.

Too bad about the Silly Sisters, “The Old Miner” song. As with “The Coming of the Roads” it is song in which the words and the nusic so enhance and reinforce each that the effect is especially moving.

Here’s another version of it: youtu.be/0fKts0s_St8

The words are the same but the music is nothing at all like June Tabor’s and Maddie Prior’s. And, in fact, the music here just does not match the gripping sentiment encompassed by the Silly Sisters. Personally, I feel almost nothing at all.

Well, when you return, fill me in on all the highlights. Which would encompass what you heard, smelled, touched, tasted and…intuited?

The closest I have ever come to experiencing places like that is, of all places, on the Science and Smithsonian channels. They occasionally have programs relating to the exploration of times long gone. Programs like “Mysteries of the Abandoned” and “Unearthed” and “Forbidden History”.

Sinead O’Connor “Heroine” youtu.be/BvKV4_9nV2M
Lyle Lovett “Pontiac” youtu.be/rEk7_Y4JRA0