a thread for mundane ironists

[b]Helmut Newton

There must be a certain look of availability in the women I photograph. I think the woman who gives the appearance of being available is sexually much more exciting than a woman who’s completely distant. This sense of availability I find erotic.[/b]

One possible translation: will she fuck me or not?

I like photographing women who appear to know something of life. I recently did a session with a great beauty, a movie star in in her thirties. I photographed her twice within three weeks and the second time I said: “You’re much more beautiful today than you were three weeks ago.” And she replied: “But I’m also three weeks older”.

So, is this just more macho bullshit? Or is she in on it?

…what I try to do is a good bad picture. I work it out very carefully, and then I do something that looks as if it went wrong.

So, anyone do that here? The good bad post.

Some people’s photography is an art. Not mine. Art is a dirty word in photography. All this fine art crap is killing it already.

Well, he was basically just a fashion photographer.

It began when I was so ill that there was a good chance of dying. I promised myself that if I survived I would never again pander to a magazine’s requests or follow the ideas of art directors. I would only make images which were personal, which arose out of my own life.

You know, whatever that means.
On the other hand…

Some people’s photography is an art. Mine is not. If they happen to be exhibited in a gallery or a museum, that’s fine. But that’s not why I do them. I’m a gun for hire.

Ka-ching photography let’s call it.

[b]God

I’m almost positive I exist but I’m not 100%.[/b]

Stay tuned.

The mass slaughter of children is a bad thing is apparently an anti-Semitic statement.

Not much isn’t in Tel Aviv.

Even I’m uncomfortable with what Israel is doing, and I’m Jewish.

Hmm, maybe He should do something about it?

Elon Musk reminds Me in some ways of a human being.

You tell me.

What you’ve done to Earth would never have happened to a male planet.

Mars for example.

The reason I promised I’d never again destroy the whole world with a flood is that I knew that one day, you would.

Fire it is then.

[b]Julius Caesar

I had rather be first in a village than second at Rome.[/b]

Right, like he actually meant that.
Unless of course he did.

In extreme danger fear feels no pity.

Fair warning?

The Celts were fearless warriors because they wish to inculcate this as one of their leading tenets, that souls do not become extinct, but pass after death from one body to another.

Keep them doped with religion, right?

In war, events of importance are the result of trivial causes.

Not unlike in peace.

It is the right of war for conquerors to treat those whom they have conquered according to their pleasure.

A natural right for thugs.

The things that we want we willingly believe, and the things that we think we expect everyone else to think.

Nope, that hasn’t changed much.

[b]God

The universe has gotten too political.[/b]

Trump, right?

Humanity is a crime against humanity.

Not much that doesn’t include.

The Big Bang was just to create content.

The plot is all yours.

If there’s anything you’ve ever wanted to do that you haven’t done, do it in the next 48 hours.

On the other hand, that was a week ago.

I don’t exist. What’s your excuse?

Cue dasein.

Before I punish you for destroying the world I will let the planet make a victim impact statement.

Stay tuned.

[b]George Sand

A child motivated by competitive ideals will grow into a man without conscience, shame, or true dignity.[/b]

Yo, Mr. Capitalist! You’re up.

Art for art’s sake is an empty phrase. Art for the sake of truth, art for the sake of the good and the beautiful, that is the faith I am searching for.

The capacity for passion is both cruel and divine.

When it’s not the other way around of course.

…fretting at trouble only doubles it.

Right, like you can just will yourself to stop.

Learned women are ridiculed because they put to shame unlearned men.

Instead, we’re stuck with Wendy.

Years do not always make age.

Until, in time, they do.

[b]tiny nietzsche

schrödinger’s dog is a good boy and a bad boy[/b]

iambiguous’s dog is a moral objectivist and a moral nihilist.

someone with all of their teeth is definitely going to leave you

Astrology perfected.

remember to forget

Not as easy as it sounds.

casual depression

Not to be mistaken for causal depression.

you may have a lot of abysses but I got much more

And mine are a lot closer.

the look of drugs is in your eyes

Dilated or otherwise.

[b]Sidonie Gabrielle Colette

You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm.[/b]

There you go!

Hope costs nothing.

Or, for some, right up until the moment it is crushed.

What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.

I’m still working on that myself.

Time spent with a cat is never wasted.

Does the cat know that?

A woman who thinks she is intelligent demands the same rights as man. An intelligent woman gives up.

What to make of that, right?

Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet.

A scientific fact let’s call it.

[b]tiny nietzsche

what idiot called it Dune instead of benny and the gesserits?[/b]

A little help with this one please.

I filed a lawsuit against the abyss for gazing back into me

Stay tuned.

if you give me another chance, I’ll fuck everything up again

That’s the spirit!

roadmap to the scars

You know the ones. Or, rather, I do.

I guess there are few known unknowns that are now known

Rummy, dead!
And now off to the biggest unknown of them all.

a smile filled with sadness

Not to mention drenched in tears.

[b]Sidonie Gabrielle Colette

You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm.[/b]

There you go!

Hope costs nothing.

Or, for some, right up until the moment it is crushed.

What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.

I’m still working on that myself.

Time spent with a cat is never wasted.

Does the cat know that?

A woman who thinks she is intelligent demands the same rights as man. An intelligent woman gives up.

What to make of that, right?

Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet.

A scientific fact let’s call it.

[b]John Green

Some infinities are bigger than other infinities.[/b]

Go ahead, try to wrap your head around that.

It’s a metaphor, see: You put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don’t give it the power to do its killing.

Next up: it’s not a metaphor.

It always shocked me when I realized that I wasn’t the only person in the world who thought and felt such strange and awful things.

Never shocked me of course.

I believe the universe wants to be noticed. I think the universe is inprobably biased toward the consciousness, that it rewards intelligence in part because the universe enjoys its elegance being observed. And who am I, living in the middle of history, to tell the universe that it–or my observation of it–is temporary?

Next up: the universe responds.

Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless and until all living humans read the book.

The Magus of course. Only to shatter it all the more.

“Headline?” he asked.
“‘Swing Set Needs Home,’” I said.
“‘Desperately Lonely Swing Set Needs Loving Home,’” he said.
“‘Lonely, Vaguely Pedophilic Swing Set Seeks the Butts of Children,’” I said.

You tell me.

[b]so sad today

i don’t understand how people just like do stuff[/b]

Let alone day in and day out.

i don’t want to know how i feel

Let alone how you feel.

i regret to inform you that i am awake

Well, now that you are, mind if I join you?

i was born not ready

And going back at least to the Big Bang.

i have a headache, probably because i exist

That’ll do it.

it’s always the anniversary of some dumb shit i’ve done

How about you keep it to yourself.

[b]Mary-Louise Parker

I don’t get tired of hearing that somebody liked my work.[/b]

Or here: I don’t get tired of hearing that somebody liked my posts. lol

I put a lot of stock in the written word, and the power of it. That’s what I love about acting and reading scripts. Words are really powerful. I don’t believe that axiom at all - words can absolutely hurt you. Words can wound. They can do a lot of damage.

What, even here?!

I’m naked in Esquire in August. I was naked on the set the other day. I’m always naked. I’m naked right now, in fact.

Weeds!

Mediocrity is underrated.

We’ll need a context for sure here.

Unless you got a really good reason, you should be nice.

Let’s exchange reasons.

My favorite scene in all of movies is Gregory Peck in To Kill A Mockingbird: You see him where he’s on the porch, and his face is almost completely obscured. I don’t want to see his face.

I have about 25 favorite scenes myself.

[b]sad socrates

The best way to be happy is to imagine things worse.[/b]

Nope, I’ve tried that. Didn’t even come close.

I warned me about myself

But don’t let that stop you, okay?

I may be godless, but at least I’m depressed.

Go figure, right?

Make believe, not art.

Well, if you can tell them apart that is.

Could you die? Subscribe, Like and Follow to find out.

Or don’t and die anyway.

No Thyself

You first.

[b]Charlotte Bronte

Prejudices, it is well known, are most difficult to eradicate from the heart whose soil has never been loosened or fertilized by education; they grow firm there, firm as weeds among stones.[/b]

Yo, Pinheads! You’re up again.

I can live alone, if self-respect, and circumstances require me so to do. I need not sell my soul to buy bliss. I have an inward treasure born with me, which can keep me alive if all extraneous delights should be withheld, or offered only at a price I cannot afford to give.

Of course she’s only paraphrasing me.

The eagerness of a listener quickens the tongue of a narrator.

Like me posting here, right?

Intelligence and proper education will give you independence of spirit.

Define independence please.

To see and know the worst is to take from Fear her main advantage.

Well, not counting the tons and tons of exceptions of course.

You never felt jealousy, did you, Miss Eyre? Of course not: I need not ask you; because you never felt love.

My guess: it’s a bit more complicated.

[b]Philosophy Tweets

“In my opinion it is impossible to achieve a coherent objective picture of the world on the basis of concepts which are taken more or less from inner psychological experience.” Albert Einstein[/b]

See, I told you!

“Ideas come from everything.” Alfred Hitchcock

In other words, not just from Hollywood.

“Revenge is sweet and not fattening.” Alfred Hitchcock

Not only that but practice makes perfect.

“…maybe we find it when we die. maybe we don’t. you’ve got your books of philosophy, your priest, your preacher, your scientist, so don’t ask me.” Charles Bukowski

You can keep asking me though.

“Respect for the truth comes close to being the basis for all morality.” Frank Herbert

The truth? Pick one.

"I always knew that literature satisfied a taste for considering life in a certain way, but that it wasn’t a guide to living.” Philip Roth

The Human Stain for example.

[b]Jordan Ellenberg

A basic rule of mathematical life: if the universe hands you a hard problem, try to solve an easier one instead, and hope the simple version is close enough to the original problem that the universe doesn’t object.[/b]

You know, in a free will world.

Knowing mathematics is like wearing a pair of X-ray specs that reveal hidden structures underneath the messy and chaotic surface of the world.

X-ray Specs!! From the comic books though.

Improbable things happen a lot.

Unlike, for example, impossible things. Which often hardly ever happen at all.

Working an integral or performing a linear regression is something a computer can do quite effectively. Understanding whether the result makes sense—or deciding whether the method is the right one to use in the first place—requires a guiding human hand.

Yo, GPT-SHOGGOTH! You’re up!!

…if gambling is exciting, you’re doing it wrong.

On the other hand, don’t bet on it.

One of the most painful parts of teaching mathematics is seeing students damaged by the cult of the genius. The genius cult tells students it’s not worth doing mathematics unless you’re the best at mathematics, because those special few are the only ones whose contributions matter. We don’t treat any other subject that way! I’ve never heard a student say, “I like Hamlet, but I don’t really belong in AP English—that kid who sits in the front row knows all the plays, and he started reading Shakespeare when he was nine!” Athletes don’t quit their sport just because one of their teammates outshines them. And yet I see promising young mathematicians quit every year, even though they love mathematics, because someone in their range of vision was “ahead” of them.

So, what do you think…maybe?

[b]Philosophy Tweets

“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.” Seneca the Younger[/b]

My guess: some more than others.

“The Buddha taught that we’re not actually in control, which is a pretty scary idea. But when you let things be as they are, you will be a much happier, more balanced, compassionate person.” Pema Chodron

We’ll need a context of course. Or, as absurd as it seems to me, is that missing the point?

“The truth always carries the ambiguity of the words used to express it.” Frank Herbert

See, I told you.

"Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak.” Sun Tzu

You know, for the suckers.

“There is no instance of a nation benefitting from prolonged warfare.” Sun Tzu

Three words:
Military
Industrial
Complex

“What distinguishes Sun Tzu from Western writers on strategy is the emphasis on the psychological and political elements over the purely military.” Henry Kissinger

Two words:
Bilderberg
Group

[b]Eugene Ionesco

It’s only when I say that everything is incomprehensible that I come as close as possible to understanding the only thing it is given to us to understand.[/b]

You know, going back to the existence of existence itself.

There are more dead people than living. And their numbers are increasing. The living are getting rarer.

Obviously: if you know what he means.

Many people have delusions of grandeur but you’re deluded by triviality.

In other words, if the trivial shoe fits.

A really conscientious doctor ought to die with his patient. The captain goes down with his ship.

And nowadays her too.

The Arts are man’s most useless … and essential … activity.

Things those like him say.

You’ve always made the mistake of being yourself.

Not counting me of course.

[b] Philosophy Tweets

“The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser men so full of doubts.” Bertrand Russell[/b]

Wow, imagine if that was true here!

“All the papers that matter live off their advertisements, and the advertisers exercise an indirect censorship over news.” George Orwell

What, even the New York Times?!!

“The punishment of every disordered mind is its own disorder.” Augustine of Hippo

“Conditions” as I call them.

“It is not true that people stop pursuing dreams because they grow old, they grow old because they stop pursuing dreams.” Gabriel García Márquez

I know that I did.

“What is morality in any given time or place? It is what the majority then and there happen to like and immorality is what they dislike.” Alfred North Whitehead

I know, I know: What if that was actually true?!!

“I’m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.” George McGovern

I shook this man’s hand. Also, Nancy Kulp’s.

[b]Mircea Eliade

Light does not come from light, but from darkness.[/b]

Next up: where darkness comes from.

The great cosmic illusion is a hierophany…One is devoured by Time, not because one lives in Time, but because one believes in its reality, and therefore forgets or despises eternity.

I know, I know: define sacred. If, for example, you are a senior citizen.

The way towards ‘wisdom’ or towards ‘freedom’ is the way towards your inner being. This is the simplest definition of metaphysics.

Ah, the “real me” again!!

If we pay no attention to it, time does not exist.

First, however, in undertaking this task, let’s synchoronize our watches.

In imitating the exemplary acts of a god or of a mythic hero, or simply by recounting their adventures, the man of an archaic society detaches himself from profane time and magically re-enters the Great Time, the sacred time.

Of course he’s only paraphrasing Fixed Jacob.

It would be frightening to think that in all the Cosmos, which is so harmonious, so complete and equal to itself, that only human life is happening randomly, that only one’s destiny lacks meaning.

If not…terrifying?