Portending The Death Of Hamilard
Oh the industrious Hamilard
printing fliers for his folk:
“Santa Claus exists, and naysayers
ought get gift revoke!”
in mirror he doth rehearse
and cites apologetic verse:
“yay, fell the tree whence gifts are given,
pray tell what be the point of livin’?”
“For all the parents would need conspire,
and willingly become the liar,”
spews Hamilard to all who listen,
while high above, the treetops glisten
“and all at perfect cadence planta
gift to each recipi-anta
and fabricate a myth of Santa.
Could they? Would they? No! They canta!”
Bespectacled, his sidekick chimes,
Bold of voice and choice of rhymes:
“It must true. St. Nick, the giver
watches you, and may deliver.
Naughty and/or nice determines
the fate of all saints
and/or vermins.”
At last, when stalwart Egorian
noodling in Dorian,
Puts down his lute and hears the missive,
fearlessly debunks, dismissive.
the “evils,” on his tongue bespeak
that santa may be just a myth
and though it shelters 'oer the meek,
he carves myth down with logic’s scythe.
he points out every argumentum
established whether santa sent 'em
“gifts or gift-wrapped ignorance?”
his words shine with Egoriance.
Hamilard averse to knowing
waits until it’s cold and snowing,
and in a beige Delorian,
tails young Egorian.
With coterie of acolytes.
Hamilard slays our dissident,
who loses to fanatic blows
of frozen bludgeoned argument.
his blood, it flows, red on white,
and 'fore it’s covered by the storm,
etches in a Christmas light,
one savior’s famous uniform.
Now Hamilard stands proudly fat,
witness to this holy sign,
argumentum ad baseball bat,
ensconced in primal endorphyne.
And tho once dead, he pummels twice,
one for naughty, one for nice.
breathes deeply in the haughty spice
and then slips hard upon the ice
later takes a tepid bath
of epsom salt, but soon, or later,
while clamoring for wreath, or wrath,
he falls again, by an invader…
O, Hamilard, on xmas day,
I’ve come in Chimneyic descen’,
Hewn from hell, and hell to pay.
To usher in your story’s en’,
I, Brother of Egorian!