Hi Dan,
I would first of all agree with Uccisore that it is difficult to find something that isn’t a gift of God, even though I experience the external as something set in motion. The greatest gift of all, however, is the ability to appreciate it and work with it. This is where the inward experience comes into it’s own. The Mystery we call ‘God’ gives me the ability to use both my senses and the contemplative counterparts that help me gain a perspective I would otherwise have missed.
Scripture and inspirational writings help me concentrate and access the reality behind the superficial, they help me “read between the lines†and often show me a different, conjecturally divine point of view that is sometimes opposed to my perception. This also gives me a sense of direction, purpose, and goals which may never have occurred to me. The search for God reveals to me who my fellow man, my fellow creature and what the nature of my existence is.
Mostly it is the feeling of awe and amazement. Occasionally, I find myself touched by a glancing feeling of intimateness, when it as though clouds of mist part and a picture becomes clear, but fades again, leaving me gasping. Everyday life seems to swallow up such experiences, but you notice that something has remained, albeit a fleeting memory.
We often wish for something tangible, something that we can grasp and hold on to. But it is often like the story that Rainer Maria Rilke once told about children who decided that a thimble should represent God, and that they should share the responsibility of carrying God with them. Each day another member of the group was given the thimble in a ritual befitting the task. You could see how this responsibility changed them, how they walked upright and proud when ‘God’ was under their protection. One day though, after the initial effects wore off, it became suddenly apparent that ‘God’ had been lost and after hours of searching they gave up.
I think that just because we find symbols or even objects that represent God, it doesn’t help us if it only means we have him in our pockets. The Mystery or the Ineffable must become an integral part of our lives, with relevance for the everyday occurrences that employ our senses and mind. The “feeling†is secondary to the importance of God’s relevance in our lives, which explains why the Torah would have Israel contemplate the word of God in the daytime and at night, with “phylacteries†containing strips of parchment inscribed with quotations from the Hebrew Scriptures, strapped to the forehead and to the left arm.
From what I understand, this hasn’t always had the effect it should have had, but it has helped Judaism survive for nearly six thousand years.
Shalom