A Fire Raging

Creative Forums Creative Writing
1

There is an ominous fire raging in a place we have
not been, we have not traveled, we have not seen

This fire rages beneath mangled arms melted skin
baby limbs blue pink WhiteBrown-Other finger sticks

This fire rages apart from Our bombs bursting in air
This fire rages apart from Our rocket’s red-glare

This fire rages in the eyes, of a mother, glaring
at the casket that’s arriving from a sandcastle, palace

where raging flames are reflected through baby i’s of
blue and pink-who unwillingly consumed caramel dogma:

in — we trust,
in a Burning Bush we trust,
Burn for Bush we will:

swooping down from alloy eagles over babylonian plains, like geese

blue and pink, spread open seas through sailing serpent machines;

(no whales or magical staffs need poets provide Nature’s Conquerors)

through arid arabian deserts they rolled onward, FOWARD!! SHOCK and AWE

Laser show’s Erupting: Hurry! Hurry! We’re invading, get the popcorn.

Automations Blasting
metal tanks
metal bullets
Metal Music

SCREAMING:

Burn MotherFucker! BURN!
Burn MotherFucker! BURN!
Burn MotherFucker! BURN!

burning -Burn MotherFucker! BURN!-
all that was ever dreamed, holy.

and on the fire rages and rage it shall the more;
the more they sail or they fly- the more they die,
Rage Rage and Rage some more,
O how the fire Rages

in a place we have not been,
we have not traveled,
we have not seen.

2

I liked the first part… though Alex will probably say because it rhymed.

I dunno… you sort of lost me in the second part… I liked it though.

3

Are you an incubus fan Gobbo? I noticed the quote from “Nice To Know You”. Incubus is my favorite band, I love their music. By the way, since i am posting here, nice creative writing there. I liked your way of disguisng all the war machines and Bible verses. I got it, right on :slight_smile:

4

Yeah I like incubus quite a bit… they’re unorthadox, but it works so well. Brandon’s writing is pretty cool too… I don’t know what he meant when he wrote my sig… but it basically sums up my thoughts on life.

Where exactly is this?

Thanks for the compliment though… welcome to the site! I think you’ll find it interesting to say the least.

5

Old_Gobbo,

I’m just curious, where was it that I lost you?

dgoodpasture,

Thanks, I was having a bit of fun with this piece, heh; although, I’m not sure whether or not I like it yet – it doesn’t really sing to me. I just wanted to try my hands at some poetry that wasn’t all as personal as my stuff has been of late – yes, yes, I am aware of the world outside of myself, believe it or not.

6

At the end of the rhyming section… you had a really good rythme going.

7

I know what you mean, the poem is disjointed, and well, ugh… this one was just technically, very difficult to create, while still attempting to capture what I wanted. Maybe if I format the poem the following way, it will work better, what do you think? (I think the main problem of this piece is when I shift to the line that starts: “onward, FOWARD!! SHOCK and AWE Laser show, Erupting:”… i don’t know – it certainly needs a lot of work and re-work that’s for sure).

There is an ominous fire raging in a place we have
not been, we have not traveled, we have not seen

This fire rages beneath mangled arms melted skin
baby limbs blue pink WhiteBrown-Other finger sticks

This fire rages apart from Our bombs bursting in air
This fire rages apart from Our rocket’s red-glare

This fire rages in the eyes, of a mother, glaring
at the casket that’s arriving from a sandcastle, palace

where raging flames are reflected through baby i’s of
blue and pink-who unwillingly consumed caramel dogma:

in — we trust, in a Burning Bush we trust, Burn for Bush we
shall: swooping down from alloy eagles over babylonian plains,

like geese, blue and pink, spread open seas through swift serpent
machines; (no whales or magical staffs need poets provide

Nature’s Conquerors) through arid arabian deserts they rolled
onward, FOWARD!! SHOCK and AWE Laser show, Erupting:

(Hurry! Hurry! We’re invading, get the popcorn) Automations
Blasting metal tanks metal bullets Metal Music SCREAMING:

Burn MotherFucker! BURN! Burn MotherFucker! BURN!
Burn MotherFucker! BURN! burning -Burn MotherFucker! BURN!-

all that was ever dreamed, holy.

Hey! I just realized that I wrote this on speed – i took 30 mg’s of adderoll last night – wow. Been on it all day today too. Ok. I love this drug – except the crappy poetry it produced and the shit feeling my joints are in.