(A classic)
What did the Zen Buddhist say to the Hot Dog Vendor?
Make me One with Everything.
Haha. I hadn’t heard that one before. 
I’ll have my uncle with sauerkraut?
Brilliant, though it belongs in the chuckle thread
I once heard a Zen master say “man who walks through airport turnstile sideways is going to bangkok.”
Hello F(r)iends,
My alltime favorite from a “Zen Master”: Man who go to sleep with itchy butt, wake up with smelly finger.
Every friggin’ time that gets me to laugh.
-Thirst
“He who gets laid on grass gets piece on earth.”
Funny? I guess you had to be there
Zen Buddhist on dental care:
Although the teeth are gone, the tongue still remains. Hence the strong does not eventually triumph over the weak.
That happiness endures which comes from the grinding together of anguish and ecstasy, and from the intensity of the grinding.
if you stand with one foot in tomorrow and one foot in yesterday, you’ll piss on today.
the man who has nothing, has more than the man who has everything.
No object in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.