A scientific model maps a model that fits observational criteria. We might not have evidence God is real, but we can map what he might be if he were to be real.
God seems to be interested in a relationship with us. This seems to be His primary motivation. He seems to have an interest in the species, and in pure hearts. Much of his law revolves around this, for instance he celebrates virginity and only respects “true love” like in marriages. He seems to have an interest in genetic purity, as with his fondness for the Jews, and attempts to wipe out all non-jews. I guess he had a wave of conscience after his genocide, and was overcome with guilt, so like a woman cutting herself, He self-mutilates His own body, as some kind of purity ritual. Now all people are open to having a relationship with Him, including non-jews. He views homosexuality as a kind of disease, which he views taints the purity of his lovers.
God wants to spend eternity in a relationship with you, and he is looking for pure hearts. This is why hating God and blasphemy are cardinal sins, they remind him of his ex-wife, Satan, which sends him into a negative spiral. He says to have “no other gods before me” because that is like cheating on HIm. He demands your upmost devotion, as any boyfriend would. He says it is acceptable to love your wife, because she is like a mistress, it is acceptable to love your wife and family, as long as you don’t love them more than Him. He just doesn’t want you sleeping around, but he allows a mistress or two. He demands that you call him once a week, by attending church. Apparently 2 or more are needed, as some kind of psychic telepathy property in order to make a connection with Him.
Now you may all laugh at this, and think it is absurd, but what if it really was real? I mean, it could be real, and it makes sense. What if God terraformed the earth for this very purpose, to make spiritual beings to be used as romantic slaves? I mean, the story does seem spookily plausible. And only someone in a jealous rage would want to send someone to Hell just for not loving them. Are you going to Hell? The question is, would you suck God’s dick, metaphorically speaking?