a thread for mundane ironists

[b]Paul Gauguin

A meter of green is greener than a centimeter.[/b]

Next up: all the other colors.

A nude by Degas is chaste. But his women wash in tubs!

You tell me.

Out in the sun, some painters are lined up. The first is copying nature, the second is copying the first, the third is copying the second… You see the sequence.

Uh, here too?

A critic is someone who meddles with something that is none of his business.

Update: or her business.

Why work? The gods are there to lavish upon the faithful the good gifts of nature.

As a philosopher he was a great painter.

In art, there are only two types of people: revolutionaries and plagiarists. And in the end, doesn’t the revolutionary’s work become official, once the State takes it over?

You know, or something like that.

[b]God

GREAT PRIME DAY DEALS AT AMAZON!!!
Median worker salary = only $29,007!
Hour of minimum-wage labor = only $15!
Annual turnover rate = only 150%!
Unionized employees = [SORRY NONE IN STOCK]
Bottle for drivers to pee in = only $8.99!
CEO’s earnings every minute = only $152,207![/b]

Prime days?

I love you unconditionally under certain circumstances.

Hmm, a category error?

What feels like losing control is actually your becoming more aware that you never had it.

If only from the cradle to the grave.

Artificial intelligence will never be a bigger threat to humanity than natural stupidity.

And who knows that better than us, right?

The more things change, the more they scare the shit out of everyone.

Piss too.

The first thing that happens in the afterlife is I make you sign a non-disclosure agreement.

And how ominous is that?

[b]Robert Mapplethorpe

The photographs that are art have to be separated from the rest - then preserved.[/b]

And isn’t that practically a science now?

I am selfish, but that’s an attribute that all artists possess.

Okay, but how selfish?

I stand naked when I draw. God holds my hand and we sing together.

The pro-gay God.

I think that it was a great advantage to go into photography not knowing much about it. Not thinking. I think one of the problems with many photographers today is that they never see for themselves, but just like everybody else.

Next up: thinking for yourself.
No, really.

Whether it’s an orgy or a cocktail party, I know how to do it.

Like for some there’s a difference.

This AIDS stuff is pretty scary. I hope I don’t get it.

Of course the rest is history.

[b]tiny nietzsche

some enchanted thieving[/b]

And not just in the evening.

I am:
○ single
○ attached
● dead

I’d move on to the next one myself.

kierkegaard sun, camus moon, sartre rising

Yo, Lord Saturn!

bitcoined more than you could chew

Next up: bitbankrupt.

if you are in the future, please come get me

Also, the further out there the better.

text me when you’re dead

Or, sure, sext.

[b]Laura Dave

…maybe just once in this life someone loves us for the us we don’t even know how to be yet.[/b]

Don’t you just hate that?

How do you explain it when you find in someone what you’ve been waiting for your whole life?

Let’s not go there okay?

The calm can’t last, not if you’re really living. if you’re living fully, the storms coming to get you.

A bunch of them even.

When you’re willing to do the work, it’s amazing what can be saved.

So they’ll tell you.

Einstein said, So far as the theories of mathematics are about reality, they are not certain; so far as they are certain, they are not about reality.

Come on, Al, give us a break about some things.

If things were eventually going to work out, did it matter how you got there? Didn’t it ultimately just matter that you got the ending you wanted?

You mean not counting all the people you fucked over to get there?

[b]tiny nietzsche

toast is chaotic good. burnt toast is chaotic evil garbage[/b]

What’s that make untoasted white bread filled with god knows how many chemicals then?

thursday is the beginning of friday

Okay, so, this being tuesday, when [exactly] does wednesday begin? At, say, the the Prime Meridian.

I don’t know much about art, but I know what is stolen

Hell, I don’t even know that.

History of art:
•things sorta looking like things
•things for God
•beautiful things
•ugly things
•things about looking like things
•anything

Piss on that!
Or, before it’s art, in it.

critical abyss theory

An equal opportunity theory.

national geographic has named the fifth ocean surrounding antarctica. it will be called Billy

Your turn to Google it.

[b]Julius Caesar

Men in general are quick to believe that which they wish to be true.[/b]

I know, I know: what if that is actually true?!

The difference between a republic and an empire is the loyalty of one’s army.

Or as Bob Dlyan once surmised:
“Democracy don’t rule the world
You better get that in your head
This world is ruled by violence
But I guess that’s better left unsaid”

I love the name of honor, more than I fear death.

Macho bullshit, right Pedro?

It’s only hubris if I fail.

Ah, a pragmatist. Or, perhaps, a realist?

I love treason but hate a traitor.

If, for example, you know what he means.

What we wish, we readily believe, and what we ourselves think, we imagine others think also.

And no, infortunately, not just the Pinheads.

[b]so sad today

thanks but i’ll be my own worst enemy[/b]

Though, sure, you can help me.

bring your own serotonin

If only because I am not going to lend you mine.

is it cool if I channel my anxiety into being obsessed with you

Actually, I insist on it.

what the fuck is everything

Next up: everything else.

taking shit personally so i can feel like i matter

Now that’s glum.

thinking about skincare and death

Come on, like it’s not the other way around.

[b]Walter Isaacson

I was on one of my fruitarian diets" Steve Jobs recalled "I had just comeback from the apple farm. It sounded fun, spirited, and not intimidating. Apple took the edge of the word ‘computer’, plus it would get us a head of Atari in the phone book.[/b]

Well, the guy was a fucking genius, right?

Was he smart? No, not exceptionally. Instead, he was a genius. His imaginative leaps were instinctive, unexpected, and at times magical. He was, indeed, an example of what the mathematician Mark Kac called a magician genius, someone whose insights come out of the blue and require intuition more than mere mental processing power. Like a pathfinder, he could absorb information, sniff the winds, and sense what lay ahead.

Nope, no one like that here.
Unless of course you ask them.

One of Job’s business rules was to never be afraid of cannibalizing yourself. " If you don’t cannibalize yourself, someone else will," he said. So even though an Iphone might cannibalize sales of an IPod, or an IPad might cannibalize sales of a laptop, that did not deter him.

You know, as cannibals go.

Jobs had begun to drop acid by then, and he turned Brennan on to it as well, in a wheat field just outside Sunnyvale. “It was great,” he recalled. “I had been listening to a lot of Bach. All of a sudden the whole field was playing Bach. It was the most wonderful feeling of my life up to that point. I felt like the conductor of this symphony with Bach coming through the wheat”.

Now that takes me back. Well, sort of.

…he never finished any of the works he began because, so sublime was his idea of art, he saw faults even in the things that to others seemed miracles.

Unlike, say, the Leonardo da Pinheads here.

The goal was never to beat the competition, or to make a lot of money. It was to do the greatest thing possible, or even a little greater.

Smart phones? You tell me.

[b]so sad today

the seven stages of getting out of bed[/b]

Why not an even ten?

rejoin society? honey, i never joined

Also: she never asked to be born.

what’s wrong with me: the musical

Soundtrack by Morrissey.

i mean, fuck everything kind of

Not much that will exclude.
Kind of.

well today is already destroyed so might as well fuck it up some more

You know, by posting this.

i don’t have self-esteem but i do have an ego

If you know what she means.

[b]Charlotte Bronte

I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself.[/b]

Hear! Hear!

If you don’t love another living soul, then you’ll never be disappointed.

Hear! Hear!

Men, in general, are a sort of scum, very different to anything of which you have an idea.

He wondered if that was still true.

Men judge us by the success of our efforts. God looks at the efforts themselves.

You know, if there is one.

Misery generates hate.

I know that mine does.

Neither birth nor sex forms a limit to genius.

What does then?

[b]sad socrates

Imagine sitting down for a meal and the food never stops coming out—that’s what perception is like.[/b]

insane socrates?

My depression says I will live another day.

On the other hand, give it time.

One person funerals are a waste of time.

Not unlike one person weddings.

Even death isn’t funny anymore.

When did that start for you?

I could change myself but I could also ignore myself.

And how the fuck could you do that, he wondered.

The less I know about myself the better.

Next up: the less I know about you.

[b]Philip Seymour Hoffman

To act well isn’t an easy thing.[/b]

Not unlike living itself.

In film, you have to let go sometimes.

Not unlike in life itself.

My soul is in good shape.

And now?

Something that could bring you wealth and fame could also be your end, your undoing.

He said prophetically.

You know the circus performer who spins the plates in the air you know, and he’ll spin six or seven plates in the air? Acting sometimes is kind of that guy spinning all those plates in the air but in your head and in your body.

Next up: spinning plates here.

To have that concentration to act well is like lugging things up staircases in your brain. I think that’s a thing people don’t understand. It is that exhausting. If you’re doing it well, if you’re concentrating the way you need to, if your will and your concentration and emotional and imagination and emotional life are all in tune, concentrated and working together in that role, that is just like lugging weights upstairs with your head… And I don’t think that should get any easier.

I know, I know: imagine if it was like that here.

[b]Philosophy Tweets

“The goal of life is living in agreement with Nature.” Zeno of Citium[/b]

Maia, meet Satyr.

“It is unrealistc to expect people to see you as you see yourself.” Epictetus

Easily the mother of all understatements.

“Distinctions drawn by the mind are not necessarily equivalent to distinctions in reality.”
Thomas Aquinas.

Starting with, say, God?

“The greatest wealth is health.” Virgil

Maybe but wealth itself is always second.

“The fate of our times is characterized by rationalization and intellectualization and, above all, by the disenchantment of the world.” Max Weber

Now that sure as shit hasn’t changed.

“There’s nothing in the world so demoralizing as money.” Sophocles

:laughing:

[b]Eugene Ionesco

The supreme trick of mass insanity is that it persuades you that the only abnormal person is the one who refuses to join in the madness of others, the one who tries vainly to resist. We will never understand totalitarianism if we do not understand that people rarely have the strength to be uncommon.[/b]

Yo, Mr. Fulminating Fanatic Objectivist!

It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.

Well, not mine, right? :wink:

If one does not understand the usefulness of the useless and the uselessness of the useful, one cannot understand art.

Whew! Thank god for philosophy, eh?

All cats die. Socrates is dead. Therefore Socrates is a cat.

Next up: Schrodinger’s cat.

Childhood is the world of miracle and wonder; as if creation rose, bathed in the light, out of the darkness, utterly new and fresh and astonishing. The end of childhood is when things cease to astonish us.

Ah, Miners Mills!

Realism falls short of reality. It shrinks it, attenuates it, falsifies it; it does not take into account our basic truths and our fundamental obsessions: love, death, astonishment. It presents man in a reduced and estranged perspective. Truth is in our dreams, in the imagination.

Indeed! If only considerably less intellectually.

[b]Philosophy Tweets

“I resisted Twitter for a long time. To me, it was synonymous with networking, which in my mind means unceasing self-promotion and superficial small-talk with strangers. A little like wading into a river with a raging current - and I’m a terrible swimmer.” Celeste Ng[/b]

Reminds me more and more of…here?

“She looked just like a painting dying to speak.” Aeschylus

Need to think a bit about that, right?

“At every moment, step by step, one must confront what one is thinking and saying with what one is doing, what one is.” Michel Foucault

Need to think even more about that, right?

“To change something in the minds of people - that’s the role of an intellectual.” Michel Foucault

You know, up in the clouds.

“The ‘Enlightenment’, which discovered the liberties, also invented the disciplines.” Michel Foucault

I know: let’s just ignore that part.

“From infancy on, we are all spies; the shame is not this but that the secrets to be discovered are so paltry and few.” John Updike

Ah, of course, the pinheads!

[b]Ernest Cline

How the fuck do you negotiate with a piece of software?[/b]

Uh, you don’t?

You see, thinkers, inventors, and scientists are usually geeks, and geeks have a harder time getting laid than anyone. Without the built-in sexual release valve provided by masturbation, it’s doubtful that early humans would have ever mastered the secrets of fire or discovered the wheel. And you can bet that Galileo, Newton, and Einstein never would have made their discoveries if they hadn’t first been able to clear their heads by slapping the salami (or “knocking a few protons off the old hydrogen atom”). The same goes for Marie Curie. Before she discovered radium, you can be certain she first discovered the little man in the canoe.

My guess: we’ll never really know. But, sure, point taken.

In the absence of any real progress, gunter subculture had become mired in bravado, bullshit, and pointless infighting. It was sad, really.

Not much culturally that isn’t true of.

I’d had a hard time getting out of bed in the morning. So I’d disabled my alarm’s snooze feature and instructed the computer to blast “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by Wham! I loathed that song with every fiber of my being,

And your song? What might that be?

You see, ever since the first day of kindergarten, I had been hoping and waiting for some mind-blowingly fantastic, world-altering event to finally shatter the endless monotony of my public education. I had spent hundreds of hours gazing out at the calm, conquered suburban landscape surrounding my school, silently yearning for the outbreak of a zombie apocalypse, a freak accident that would give me super powers, or perhaps the sudden appearance of a band of time-traveling kleptomaniac dwarves.

Me too. Now I’m just waiting for godot.

Besides, now I was thinking there just might be a God after all—that would explain who was currently fucking with my whole notion of reality.

That’s the thing, right? Actually having someone to blame.

[b]Philosophy Tweets

“Religion enables us to ignore nothingness and get on with the jobs of life.” John Updike[/b]

And now, John?

“I want to write books that unlock the traffic jam in everybody’s head.” John Updike

My own personal favorite: Roger’s Version.

“Celebrity is a mask that eats into the face.” John Updike

By then, of course, there’s no point in taking it off.

“Being naked approaches being revolutionary; going barefoot is mere populism.” John Updike

Yo, Gloominary! :laughing:

“A sad soul can kill you quicker, far quicker, than a germ.” John Steinbeck

Next up: a fractured and fragmented soul.

“I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I’m awake, you know?” Ernest Hemingway

His life, sure. But your life? You know, what there is of it.

[b]Paul Gauguin

Go on working, freely and furiously, you will make progress and sooner or later your worth will be recognised, if you have any.[/b]

Tell that to all of the Van Goghs out there.

Sometimes people accuse me of being incomprehensible only because they look for an explicative side to my pictures which is not there.

Next up: what people accuse me of.

You may dream freely when you listen to music as well as when you look at painting. When you read a book you are the slave of the author’s mind.

You know, before the world became postmodern.

No one wants my painting because it is different from other people’s peculiar, crazy public that demands the greatest possible degree of originality on the painter’s part and yet won’t accept him unless his work resembles that of the others!

And, no, not just the masses. Though, sure, especially them.

I am a great artist and I know it. It is because I am that I have been able to endure so much suffering.

Wow, just like bing a great philosopher here!

The single most powerful tool for winning a negotiation is the ability to get up and walk away from the table without a deal.

For example, if that’s actually an option.

[b]Philosophy Tweets

“Fascism is a lie told by bullies.” Ernest Hemingway[/b]

We’ve got a few of them here.

“An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.” Ernest Hemingway

And especially his Stooges.

“Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.” Ernest Hemingway

Ask me to explain why.

“Trust only him who doubts.” Lu Xun

And nowadays her.

“The most horrible thing is not a government that stages public executions, but a government that secretly disposes of its victims.” Lu Xun

Makes them “disappear” as it were.

“Lies written in ink cannot disguise facts written in blood.” Lu Xun

The rest, as they say, is history.