a thread for mundane ironists

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9801

[b]Steven Pinker

It begins with skepticism. The history of human folly, and our own susceptibility to illusions and fallacies, tell us that men and women are fallible.[/b]

Anyone here skeptical of that?
Yes, Mr. Pinhead?

Behavioral science is not for sissies.

Any sissies here fear it? Mind telling us why?

Plato said that we are trapped inside a cave and know the world only through the shadows it casts on the wall. The skull is our cave, and mental representations are the shadows.

Resolved: this is not true.
New thread, okay?

The dominant theories of elite art and criticism in the 20th century grew out of a militant denial of human nature. One legacy is ugly, baffling, and insulting art. The other is pretentious and unintelligible scholarship. And they’re surprised that people are staying away in droves?

Nothing elitist about this right?

Perhaps the most extraordinary popular delusion about violence of the past quarter-century is that it is caused by low self-esteem. That theory has been endorsed by dozens of prominent experts, has inspired school programs designed to get kids to feel better about themselves, and in the late 1980s led the California legislature to form a Task Force to Promote Self-Esteem. Yet Baumeister has shown that the theory could not be more spectacularly, hilariously, achingly wrong. Violence is a problem not of too little self-esteem but of too much, particularly when it is unearned.

Nothing elitist about this, right?
How about this: a few actual historical contexts.

A Babylonian in 1750 BCE would have had to labor fifty hours to spend one hour reading his cuneiform tablets by a sesame-oil lamp. In 1800, an Englishman had to toil for six hours to burn a tallow candle for an hour. In 1880, you’d need to work fifteen minutes to burn a kerosene lamp for an hour; in 1950, eight seconds for the same hour from an incandescent bulb; and in 1994, a half-second for the same hour from a compact fluorescent bulb—a 43,000-fold leap in affordability in two centuries. And the progress wasn’t finished: Nordhaus published his article before LED bulbs flooded the market. Soon, cheap, solar-powered LED lamps will transform the lives of the more than one billion people without access to electricity, allowing them to read the news or do their homework without huddling around an oil drum filled with burning garbage.

Okay, Mr. Fulminating Fanatic Objectivist, your own dogmatic assessment please.

9802

[b]Philosophy Tweets

“The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary; men alone are quite capable of every wickedness.” Joseph Conrad[/b]

So, what do you think, transgender men too?

“Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.” F. Scott Fitzgerald

You know, most times.

“Genius is the ability to put into effect what is on your mind.” F. Scott Fitzgerald

You know, if only in the either/or world.

“Show me a hero, and I’ll write you a tragedy.” F. Scott Fitzgerald

Wow, he must have been thinking about me.
Though, no, definitely not you, Mr. Pinhead.

“You are free, and that is why you are lost.” Franz Kafka

Most of the time, anyway.

“If you are killed because you are a writer, that’s the maximum expression of respect, you know.” Mario Vargas Llosa

Yeah, even here. And, with me, who really knows how many of you want to.

9803

[b]Yuval Noah Harari

At present, people are happy to give away their most valuable asset—their personal data—in exchange for free email services and funny cat videos. It’s a bit like African and Native American tribes who unwittingly sold entire countries to European imperialists in exchange for colorful beads and cheap trinkets.[/b]

And now, here, lorikeet is back!!

Tolerance is not a Sapiens trademark. In modern times, a small difference in skin colour, dialect or religion has been enough to prompt one group of Sapiens to set about exterminating another group. Would ancient Sapiens have been more tolerant towards an entirely different human species? It may well be that when Sapiens encountered Neanderthals, the result was the first and most significant ethnic-cleansing campaign in history.

Exactly Satyr’s point, right? And I’ve never argued he was entirely wrong.

Two Catholics who have never met can nevertheless go together on crusade or pool funds to build a hospital because they both believe that God was incarnated in human flesh and allowed Himself to be crucified to redeem our sins. States are rooted in common national myths. Two Serbs who have never met might risk their lives to save one another because both believe in the existence of the Serbian nation, the Serbian homeland and the Serbian flag. Judicial systems are rooted in common legal myths. Two lawyers who have never met can nevertheless combine efforts to defend a complete stranger because they both believe in the existence of laws, justice, human rights – and the money paid out in fees. Yet none of these things exists outside the stories that people invent and tell one another. There are no gods in the universe, no nations, no money, no human rights, no laws, and no justice outside the common imagination of human beings.

Next up: two pinheads.

When a thousand people believe some made-up story for one month, that’s fake news. When a billion people believe it for a thousand years, that’s a religion.

And, no, not excluding yours, Bob.

Sapiens rule the world because only they can weave an intersubjective web of meaning: a web of laws, forces, entities and places that exist purely in their common imagination. This web allows humans alone to organise crusades, socialist revolutions and human rights movements.

See, he chortled, didn’t I tell you?

Soon, books will read you while you are reading them.

Smart books lets call them.
Or, for some, extremely dumb books.

9804

[b]Philosophy Tweets

“If you wish to improve, be content to appear clueless or stupid.” Epictetus[/b]

Especially here, right?

“You are free, and that is why you are lost.” Franz Kafka

Figures.

“I usually solve problems by letting them devour me.” Franz Kafka

Or devour you of course.

“Sex is like money; only too much is enough.” John Updike Updike

If only all the way to the grave.

“Indeed, the whole of our society may be likened to a black comedy; and this is why a man who is worth anything finds society so insipid.” Arthur Schopenhauer

How much are you worth then?

“Protect yourself from your own thoughts.” Rumi

Six feet under.

9805

[b]Emile M. Cioran

To accomplish nothing and die of the strain.[/b]

Tell me that doesn’t take some doing.

Democracy: a festival of mediocrity.

Or here: Philosophy: a festival of pinheads.

I’m simply an accident. Why take it all so seriously?

Well, for one thing, there will always be those who make you.

We would not be interested in human beings if we did not have the hope of someday meeting someone worse off than ourselves.

You know, as a more or less general rule.

What would be left of our tragedies if an insect were to present us his?

These guys for example: youtu.be/2bkPdbMnqog

Nothing proves that we are more than nothing.

And that’s something, right?

9806

[b]Dave Grohl

I don’t think of Kurt as ‘Kurt Cobain from Nirvana’. I think of him as ‘Kurt’. It’s something that comes back all the time. Almost every day.[/b]

Next up: when he thinks of Courtney.

It was supposed to be gross, and now it’s gorgeous.

Here of course it’s still gross.

When you’re thirteen and listening to punk, the aggressive nature of music can sway you to the dark side.

Intentionally no doubt.

There’s a big difference between falling in love with someone and falling in love with someone and getting married. Usually, after you get married, you fall in love with the person even more.

Right up until the divorce with me.

From one generation to the next, The Beatles will remain the most important rock band of all time.

And not just for mystical reasons.

Through Kurt I saw the beauty of minimalism and the importance of music that’s stripped down.

To what, he asked.

9807

[b]Philosophy Tweets

“I am made and remade continually. Different people draw different words from me.” Virginia Woolf[/b]

Not to worry, Mr. Pinhead, you’re not expected to understand it.

“Don’t limit a child to your own learning, for he was born in another time.”
Rabindranath Tagore

Not to worry, Mr. Pinhead, you’re not expected to understand it.

“Wit and humor do not reside in slow minds.” Miguel de Cervantes

Of Course: SATYR!!!

“The knowledge of yourself will preserve you from vanity.” Miguel de Cervantes

If you have the balls to go there.

Too much sanity may be madness and the maddest of all, to see life as it is and not as it should be." Miguel de Cervantes

If you have the balls to go there.

“In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd.” Miguel de Cervantes

Mine for yours?

9808

[b]Henri Cartier-Bresson

Photographers deal in things which are continuously vanishing.[/b]

Though hardly ever literally.

Give me inspiration over information.

And we know all about that here, don’t we?

The world is being created every minute, and the world is falling to pieces every minute.

And, by and large, we’re just along for the ride.

I suddenly understood that a photograph could fix eternity in an instant.

Does eternity know that?

For the world is movement, and you cannot be stationary in your attitude toward something that is moving.

Not unlike your very life itself.

Of course it’s all luck.

If only from birth to death.

9809

[b]Werner Twertzog

It is important to read comments sections to learn that most cranks don’t read past the first paragraph.[/b]

Or here, the OP. If even that.

My friends who are professors think quitting is a statement. Why do you not understand that the administration wants you to leave? You are entirely replaceable at a much lower cost. Also, no one cares about your sad, little publications.

True stories no doubt.

Is important for the academic humanities to make strident truth claims that are manifestly false.

Any that you’re familiar with?

Everyone remembers what Laplace said to Napoleon when he produced his orrery.

Actually, I don’t.

If Jesus follows me on Twitter, should I follow him back?

Yeah. Unless you want to burn in Hell for eternity.

Before you die, alone, your most cherished beliefs, for which you have sacrificed everything, will be discredited, and your remote descendants will think of you with shame, if they have not obliterated your memory, and changed their names. That’s progress.

I guess I was wrong then.

9810

[b]Charles Baudelaire

It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree.[/b]

How dumb is that?
You know, if it is dumb.

The habit of doing one’s duty drives away fear.

Unless, of course, it brings the fear on.

I am the vampire at my own veins.

slurp slurp slurp

Woman is natural, that is to say, abominable.

Men? Double it. At least.

What is exhilarating in bad taste is the aristocratic pleasure of giving offense.

And how I do so nail the bastards here.

There exist certain individuals who are, by nature, given purely to contemplation and are utterly unsuited to action, and who, nevertheless, under a mysterious and unknown impulse, sometimes act with a speed which they themselves would have thought beyond them.

Next up: certain other individuals.

9811

[b]Werner Twertzog

Dear America: You are waking up, as Germany once did, to the awareness that 1/3 of your people would kill another 1/3, while 1/3 watches.[/b]

Our very own First Reich!

I have received your statement of concern. It will be considered by my Statement of Concern Committee. The current wait time is 377 years.

You know, like complaining to Comcast.

Help me build a bridge to the 11th century.

Back to God in other words.

There are more potential variants than grains of sand. And they are coming for you.

Unless of course it’s all just a hoax.

When one door closes, another door opens, dropping you into fiery pit of hell.

If not into the frozen expanse of oblivion itself.

It is a nice day for a Götterdämmerung.

This thing: merriam-webster.com/diction … %A4mmerung
Or, here, what we call Trumpworld.

9812

[b]Joe Abercrombie

A man who doesn’t want opinions should keep his own mouth shut.[/b]

Yo, pood! :laughing:

You may need two hands to fight someone, but only one to stab them in the back.

Or, if distance is more suitable, pull the trigger.

You don’t have to be ready. You just have to go.

Famous last words, let’s call them.

If you have a plan, hissed Sumael from the corner of her mouth, now would be the time.
I have a plan, said Nothing.
Does it involve swords?
A pause. All my plans do.
Do you have a sword?
Another. No.
How will you succeed without one? Muttered Sumael.
A third. Death waits for us all.

Covering all the bases.

He is dead and I, the self serving coward that I am, still live. Life is not fair. There is no pattern. People die at random. Something everyone knows, but no one truly believes. They think that when it comes to them there will be a lesson, a meaning, a story worth telling. That death will come to them as a dread scholar, a fell knight, a terrible emperor. Death is a bored clerk, with too many orders to fill. There is no reckoning. No profound moment. It creeps up on us from behind, and snatches us away while we shit.

Or, if you’re Mr. Reasonable, poop.

Death waits for us all. Nothing’s forever. Life’s about making the best of what you find along the way. A man who’s not content with what he’s got, well, more than likely he won’t be content with what he hasn’t.

My guess: All the exceptions.

9813

[b]Existential Comics

What’s great about capitalism is that the very people tasked with ending the pandemic through the creation of a vaccine have a massive financial incentive for COVID-19 to stay around forever so they can keep selling us boosters.[/b]

I know, let’s call this the medical industrial complex.

The masculine urge to build a trebuchet.

A little help with this one please.

I do believe that one day mankind will finish the project of the enlightenment, and finally vanquish the three great enemies of Reason: tribalism, superstition, and horny.

Yo Andrew! Yo Chris!
And Mario once he stops spinning in his grave.

How anyone can confuse capitalism with a “meritocracy” is beyond me. Capitalism is based solely on property relations. Your boss isn’t better than you because they own the business. Your landlord isn’t better than you because they own the building. They just own things.

Anyone still confused here?

Me, angrily staring at the screen as I see that someone has copied one of my tweets: “how dare you, that’s my communist propaganda!!”

On the other hand, you have my expressed permission to copy my posts here.

We all like to think of ourselves as rational human beings, and yet, we keep logging onto this website…

Need I say more? :sunglasses:

9814

[b]Thomas Ligotti

It’s strange how you’re sometimes forced to assume an unsympathetic view of yourself through borrowed eyes.[/b]

Bitterly strange for example.

We are each either among the demoralized showing the way to a future of eternal nightmare, or we are losers celebrating our moment in hell.

You know, being optimistic.

What does it mean to be alive except to court disaster and suffering at every moment?

Though, for some, only on the good days.

You see how I live: shadows and silence, leaving things as I find them because I have no reason to disturb them. But there are things that I have known, even though I never wished to know them and cannot give them a name.

Next up: you see how I die.

The company that employed me strived only to serve up the cheapest fare that the customer would tolerate, churn it out as fast as possible, and charge as much as they could get away with. If it were possible to do so, the company would sell what all businesses of its kind dream about selling, creating that which all of our efforts were tacitly supposed to achieve: the ultimate product – Nothing. And for this product they would command the ultimate price – Everything.

Let’s call this capitalism, okay?

Man is a self-conscious Nothing.

You know, approximately.

9815

You’ve lost your context.
Find one.

9816

Well, actually, during this festive holiday season, here at ILP, you are the context.

Over and again I make a fool out of you and over and again you come back for more.

It is what, apparently, you call fun?

[size=50]This time, try really, really extra hard to be clever.
And all on your own.
Not by ineptly imitating me.[/size]

9817

[b]Doth

Due to current world events, I need to find a witch that can turn me into an ancient moss-covered tree.[/b]

Yo, Maia! Any recommendations?

Oh no, my tabula, it’s rasa.

Quick! Find a font!!

In honor of Charles Dickens I am also going to be poor this Christmas.

Fuck that, he snorted.

Me: I think I’m a sane, normal person.
My spotify wrapped: you absolutely are the fuck not.

Spotify wrapped?

Practice self-care like Dracula: sleep all day, eat all night & outlive everyone who has ever loved you.

You know, if that’s a real thing.

Be the reason why she speaks a dead language in bed.

Or, sure, posts in a dead language here.

9818

[b]Fernando Pessoa

My happiest hours are those in which I think nothing, want nothing, when I do not even dream, but lose myself in some spurious vegetable torpor, moss growing on the surface of life. Without a trace of bitterness I savour my absurd awareness of being nothing, a mere foretaste of death and extinction.[/b]

Me too. But it took a lot of practice.

We are two abysses - a well staring at the sky.

Of course he’s only paraphrasing, well, hundreds by now.

Everything around me is evaporating. My whole life, my memories, my imagination and its contents, my personality - it’s all evaporating. I continuously feel that I was someone else, that I felt something else, that I thought something else. What I’m attending here is a show with another set. And the show I’m attending is myself.

So, sure, take comfort in that while you still can.

Oh salty sea, how much of your salt is tears from Portugal?

Come on, it can’t be all that much. But point taken. His anyway.

My dreams are a stupid refuge, like an umbrella against a thunderbolt.

Mine too. And not unlike my hopes.

I’m the empty stage where various actors act out various plays.

Of course that’s why you’re here.

9819

[b]God

My son’s middle name is Fucking.[/b]

Ouch?

In hindsight, a Small Bang would have been more manageable.

Less pinheads for example.

The reason evolution doesn’t make sense is that it led to you.

Wow, how grim is that?

I wish I’d followed a different career path.

Don’t we all.

I never tell anyone to do anything, except, in the case of those who claim I did, to fuck off.

So, did you?

No. No more God. I’m sick of this shit.

Looks like we’ll need another one then. Yours perhaps?

9820

[b]Nawal El Saadawi

When we live in a world that is very unjust, you have to be a dissident.[/b]

You know, once you grow a pair.

When you are intelligent and beautiful you face a lot of problems. If you are beautiful and stupid then it’s easy.

Why is this not self-explanatory?

To be creative means to connect. It’s to abolish the gap between the body, the mind and the soul, between science and art, between fiction and nonfiction.

Or, for some of us, to disconnect.

She is free to do what she wants, and free not to do it.

Though not necessarily able to tell the difference.

All the men I did get to know, every single man of them, has filled me with but one desire: to lift my hand and bring it smashing down on his face.

Yo, Gib!

To have arrived at the truth means that one no longer fears death. For death and truth are similar in that they both require a great courage if one wishes to face them.

What I would give just in order to figure out how some people are able to actually believe things like this.

Nothing is more perilous than truth in a world that lies.

Or truth in a world of pinheads.