Our love is either rose or thorn.
One leaves us whole, the other torn.
Which one is which? There is no trick.
The first we smell; the second, pick.
When we pick love we end its growth.
Not just the picked but of us both.
Together we must each have ‘ground’.
That’s where love’s nourishment is found.
This is a nice little gem. I was expecting the last word to be “prick”, and think that this would make a better ending 
Thanks. My view of life is that we react to the void. Visit my thread, “Life: a reaction to the void” in the philosophy forum. I would appreciate your reaction to that as well. Briefly though, I see the void as the “white emptiness” we discover when we question the meaning of life, ask the “last why”. I suggest the ideal reaction to the void is to reach out to the limits of our capacities, to others and to God. Specific to this poem this natural activity ‘grows’ love we ‘smell’. Though natural, “reaching out…” is optional. We can also try to fill the void. Specific to this poem we can ‘pick love’ in an effort to fill the void; but since the ‘vase’ can not be filled, trying to fill it with ‘picked’ love invariably tears us apart, hence the word “pick”. I could have just said a picked rose dies but I wanted to offer the enlarged context.
The following is a link to a 2 minute long post that will put the ideas in a slightly greater context. http://www.thelastwhy.ca/journal/2006/2/27/love.html
I added four lines.
OH! i was so confused by that first reply… “that’s where love’s nourishment is prick.” what?
but it used to end at the fourth line. i see.
i like the poem a lot though. the part about “when we pick love we end its growth” stood out to me. it really solidified the symbolism of the rose.
Thanks CI. When I don’t have to explain my poem I consider that an indication that it was a good one.
First six lines got my kind interest, but at the “Together we must…” I felt reserved. I think it might be because I’m sensitive to dictates, but that’s also exactly a point where DEB comes from descriptive to prescriptive language. Perhaps not a bad thing in itself, but when you watch a nice picture, you don’t really expect to be suddenly reminded of your obligations to its author.
The “prick” as a better ending of a love theme seems rather doubtful since, although it rhymes with “trick”, it’s naturally painful connotations do not match in any case more subtle matters such as love’s growth, let alone the most abstract one, and essential to the poem, which is filling the void.
I don’t know. In first case, I forget about the thing and go to the pub or a brothel. In second case, I still don’t know.
I don’t know the game but I think you put forward an impossible condition. If it’s a competitive game, someone has to win and someone has to lose. Otherwise, it’s not a real game. In case it’s a non-competitive game, meaning it is just for fun, you can’t have real winners or losers either. Impossible as it is, it reminds a conflict situation. I think to your advantage would be, therefore, declaring that at least until all players agree on the rules of the game, no one should play.
Dread to think about the keyboard! Perhaps that is why it took me so long to post the reply.
Dread to think about the keyboard! Perhaps that is why it took me so long to post the reply.
I really appreciated the effort you put into your comments. Don’t take so long the next time.