An old friends view on religion...

An old friend of mine was fond of saying, “Religion is the zipper on the trousers of life.” Does anyone agree with this? Or, for that matter, understand it? :wink:

Religion ith the zipper that keepth the beast at bay…

only the enlightened wear button flies…


buttonth allow the devil thome air, and thuthly thould not be worn by the righteouth man.

i think your friends saying is a reference to the fact that (christian) religion is untrusting of the sexual urge and of human nature in general - so in zippering it up tight inside hopes to both gain control over the masses through twisting its collective genitalia, and also to rechannel the sexuality of its priesthood into a love of God - dedicating the energy to good works in his name. in theory at least.

sublimation of the sexual urge in a priest does three things: one: it puts the priest above his fornicating congregation - they are secretly in awe of his powers of self-discipline and two: it backhandedly causes the priest to redouble his faith - imagine how stupid he would feel after 20 years of not shagging the nuns if he suddenly decided that religion was simple flummery, so rather than suffer self-imposed ego-destruction - the priest will grasp at any straw to remain a believer. (or at any choirboy…) and finally three: it subtley states the faith is better than sex.

the same principle is at work today in cults - the more the cult asks the cultist to materially sacrifice the more fanatical a believer the cultist becomes. after a certain point it simply becomes too horrifying a thought to have your illusions shattered - you have already sacrificed too much to the cause to be able to recognize it as hollow. people do not kill themselves for God, they kill themselves rather than acknowledge that they have been duped.

phaedruth - by your friendth reasoning - thkirtth mutht be damned for not having zipperth at all, perhapth the current trend for greater trouther wearing amongtht women meanth women are becoming more religiouth…? oopth - igorth fly ith open again…

I don’t think it’s got any sexual overtones. It’s a folksy metaphor saying that religion is what holds life together. For trousers, you see, are life. I think.

Also, is anyone else annoyed at Igor’s typing impediment? Lisps are of course funny in real life, but trying to read one makes my head hurt.


Here’s a retelling:

Religion is the zipper on those tight pair of polyester disco pants that gave you that jock itch/yeast infection.

Hello F(r)iends,

I don’t think religion is the zipper on the trousers. I think religion is more like the pantaloons.


Only when your dick gets caught in the zipper.

What has 72 teeth and holds back a monster?

His meaning is that basically religion is the vent that keeps you from pissing yourself, metaphysically- all the waste gets built up and will poison you if you don’t have an outlet for it. He’s a sort of militant atheist. :wink:

Hi Phaedrus,

Thanks for attempting to pull this out of Comedy Central. He’s right, religion is the collection bin and relief valve for all our guilt, self-perceived sins, our short-comings, as well as our hopes and faith that we can be better than we are. In the sense he was speaking, religion is our catharsis. It is our relief and comfort at the same time.