an open letter to ILP......

I have been undone and it is the truth that has laid me low…
this truth has embarrassed and ashamed me before my own eyes
but it is in my search for my greater humanity, that I reveal this truth
and how I am undone…

as is known, I am engaged in the only struggle worth pursuing, not wealth,
not prestige, not fame or titles or honor… no pursuit has been of greater
value for me,

in the Philosophy forum, the thread name is, “A new understanding of today, time and space”…
there I’ve tried to understand what it means to be human with myself as an example of
what it means to be human, truly… for philosophy is one means of exploring our humanity,
as is science, as is art, as is politics, these are just means to discovering our humanity…
I’ve used my myself as an example of where we are and where we need to be…
to create an ideal and then find the path to realize that ideal…
and here lies the truth revealed to me that has embarrassed and ashamed me…
the difference between the ideal that is pursued and the reality that is now is

I received an e-mail from an old and very, very wise friend today…
this kind friend pointed out the distance between my ideal and my reality
and thus undid me…this wise man point out my words of ideal, words that
show my attempt to become more fully human are just that, words…

I proclaimed in me, my need to become more fully human… in being a nicer
and kinder person… let his words show my failure…

“One moment, you say you fully intend to become a nicer person-
an hour later, you tear into WendyDarling. Is everything ok with you?”

This truth, this honest truth shows me the distance between my ideal and
my reality… I proclaim myself to be an honest seeker of the truth and that
truth has shown me the distance between the ideal I seek and the reality that
is…it only took me an hour to fail in my test to become more fully human,
it only took an hour to expose the reality of who I am with the idea of who
I want to be…

so I want to thank the wise man who pointed out my failure in
the distance between who I am and the need to be to become fully human…
I thank you Derlydoo for being that friend… if only everyone had such a
good friend…

so I dust myself off and I begin anew in my pursuit of becoming fully human…
I begin to climb that mountain again… this height of which is becoming fully human
and the plain below which is the reality of our everyday existence…
we climb and we fall down and we dust ourselves off and begin anew,
every single day…the important thing is to dust ourselves off and begin
anew our pursuit of being fully human, of becoming something greater then
ourselves… this ideal of becoming…

“I am human” which means failure is thy name… this failure is the distance
between our ideal and our reality

the struggle my friends, is becoming and that becoming is the ideal we set for
ourselves and strive for and struggle for…in that journey from birth to death,
will I ever succeed in my journey of becoming, to becoming fully human…
does that even matter? I struggle to close that gap between ideal and reality,
an ideal that I set for myself and I shall fail… but that struggle defines me
as man, and as human…

“Verily, we say no, but the struggle is to say yes, yes to all our yesterdays,
and yes to our todays and yes to all our tomorrows”

I dust myself off and begin anew in my struggle to become more fully human…


Peter … welcome to the ‘crowd’ … small “c”

I crossed the intellectual threshold more than 15 years ago … still working on the implementation. :slight_smile:


Will you be continuing “A new understanding of today, time and space”… because I really like reading that.

I myself suffer from a mental illness and your writing helps me understand many things that I find difficult to read because you put those things into human terms. My wife thinks I am a great man and she can see my struggle. I am constantly grappling with things that are bigger than myself because without those things I become miserable.

The problem I face most of all is the everyday life containing things like small talk and humor and the rest.

I will not keep rattling on about myself.

I came in here to offer you my support and wonder whether you were going to continue your thread.


Kindest regards,



K: Aaron, I thank you for your kind post… each of us struggle with something
within us… I have a severe hearing loss, from birth, which has left me with only
about 25% hearing of a normal hearing person…

I shall be continuing that my new understanding thread as long as I seem to have
something to say

grappling with things bigger then ourselves is how we grow…
a small man grapples with small things, a great man grapples with great things…

a kind and understanding wife is a great thing indeed… I have one of those and I
wouldn’t trade her for anything…although there are some days I wonder…

I am terrible with small talk and pretending to fit in with other people…
I hate social situations and chit chat with people… I have little patience
with people who waste my time…my wife on the other hand is a social
butterfly who stops people in the store and ask them questions, anybody
it doesn’t matter whom… just to talk…I hate that shit…

see it doesn’t cost anything to babble about oneself…
try it… it doesn’t hurt anyone and might do you some good…

so anyway, its late and I work early tomorrow…
so if you need anything, let me know…


By virtue of being human one can never attain perfection but one can with will and determination
become less imperfect over time and so this is what I strive to do in my very own insignificant way

Peter - those of us who have known you for years already know what a miserable son of a bitch you are. This is not a failure. Just try to be slightly less miserable. Small victories…

I’m still waiting for the apology bouquet of flowers. :happy-smileyflower:


That is not necessarily so. That is just one’s perspective and also a bit of ego.

A great man who is intelligent and has humility will also realize that it can be the small things which will topple him from his pedestal.

Everything is a question of appearance and you might be surprised at just what one so-called small man, who is looked upon by others as such, could accomplish.

This doesn’t take away from the fact that you honestly aspired to become more fully human.
The fact is that the more that we actually try to become something better, another part of us takes hold and rebels.
I do not think that it happens in leaps and bounds. It’s more like the ocean - there is the flow and the ebb.
Or it can be compared to climbing a ladder - for every three or four steps up, we slide back down one.

I think that in order to become more fully human we have to accept the fact that we are already human and this does not mean perfection.
But you have already come to the awareness that there is a big difference/gap between the reality of what we want to achieve and the ideal.

Anyway, remember…

It took 14 years to complete the Brooklyn Bridge

It took 20 years for the Taj Mahal to be built.

We are not built of brick. Humans take longer and you will never be finished.

Think of yourself as a Bonzai

"A bonsai will never grow completely. There’s a bad joke that says the only finished bonsai is a dead bonsai.
lol There is truth in that.

Bonsai are living, growing trees. The majority of bonsai work is horticultural, keeping the tree healthy and thriving so that it can be strong enough to style and maintained as a bonsai.

If you know what you’re doing and depending on the material it’s possible to get some trees to showable condition in 10–15 years from seed, but a bonsai is never “completed”." … completely

So, what human qualities does it take to grow such beauty, to bring such beauty into existence?
This is what You have to remember.