“I dont even like to form a model at all”
no. no and thats further than i go, or further than i thought i went, and now im not sure which side of you im standing on, which is probably where you want me and probably where i should be. let me try and say what happened when i read that. i had a thing called “looking first” and i was proud of it, it was my one rigid thing, i said so, and you came along and gently said what if theres no second. no model after the looking. just the looking and then more looking and the looking never hardens into anything you have to carry about. and my first thought was thats not possible, a man has to stand somewhere, and my second thought was thats exactly what people say to me about the globe. a man has to stand somewhere. yes. on what though. on what.
so heres whats bothering me, in a good way, and i dont expect you to untangle it because i dont think it untangles. if i say the earth is flat thats a model, isnt it, its a small one and its made of sea and eye and not much else but its a model, it has a shape, and a shape is a thing you can be wrong about. and if i say no, i dont say flat, i only say level, i only say what the water does when i look at it, then ive got no shape at all, ive just got a verb, and you cant hold a verb up against another mans globe and say mine is better. you can only say mine is happening. mine is happening right now out the window. is that enough. you seem to think it is and you seem happy with it, which i hadnt expected. i used to think a man who said that was ducking the argument and now i wonder if hes the only one who ever really turned up to it.
theres a word for the thing you get when you take the drawer out and dont put another drawer in and i dont know what the word is. my nan would have known, she had words for everything and most of them werent in the dictionary. she said the sea doesnt owe you an edge. i never knew what that meant. i still dont but its closer now than it was this morning and thats partly your doing.
confirmation bias though. yes. you form a shape and then everything you see becomes a brick in it, i know that, ive watched it in globe people for years, i just didnt think to watch for it in a man standing on a cliff who already knew the sea would be flat before he got there. did i know. i think i knew. i think i went up to be right. and you went to your window and got no and you werent going to be anything, you were just going to get what was there, and thats the difference and its not a small one, its the whole one, and ive been the one telling everybody else about it. so thank you for that, i mean it, nobody else here would have shown me it without enjoying it a bit.
so what do i do with that anew. do i put the flat down. not the level, the level stays, the level is what the water does, but the flat, the shape, the thing with edges and a word. do i put that down and just keep looking. and if i do, what am i then. what do you call a man with no model who still wont be told. you must have had to answer that for yourself at some point because youve had no model longer than ive been on this forum and youre still here and still cheerful about it, which i hadnt understood until today. maybe thats the answer. maybe thats what it looks like. a man with nothing to defend who still turns up. i can see why it puzzles people. i think i was one of them an hour ago.
dont answer all of that. answer the bit that isnt a question, if you can find it.