1:
I was always reclusive you see.
Stayed by Mother’s side every day.
As a boy I grew up with the clouds in my head,
in the woods, on my own, by a tree.
2:
It was hard for prospective lovers
to ever easily love me.
I kept at a distance closed the door,
locked the chambers, set the alarm,
never opened or revealed any thing further more.
3:
I remained the elusive baby bachelor,
bachelor baby, Mummy Crusader!
Under developed, Super Geeky, meek in stature,
bachelor baby! Or WORSE - to use a winter metaphor!
Like a stoneman in a freezer - hard to get at,
neither pickaxe hammer nor flame thrower,
could break thaw or eke out the caramel centre
4:
Love was too sweet. Love was too bitter.
Love was a heart trick. Love was a shitter.
Love asked to much of me. Bid me give over.
Asked me to share, the burden the boulder.
Fall in love with another, hold hands till we’re stronger.
So afriad of moving, I bid love fare well, and grew colder
So, Revert back to childhood
- I swore childishly to my Saviour!
5:
And now none but my Mother will love me,
though she loves in turn to begrudge me.
But then most mothers don’t have to contend
with a twenty five year old six foot tall baby!
6:
Still stuck in the womb. Holding onto the umbilical chord
Like a child terrified to be set free on the water,
learn how to swim, without needing orders!
You keep arm bands on and rubber rings!
You cry when alone at the loneliest things!
Struck in the womb. Holding the chord,
Don’t let me go: dear mum, dear God!
7:
I know I am cruel but I am only a baby,
and doesn’t everyone love babies?
I call my Mother up to my room:
MUM! MUM! MUM! I know I am cruel.
I imprison her in the obligation to love me.
I know I am cruel but I am only a baby,
and doesn’t everyone love babies?
8:
I wail scream stamp my feet as if still enraged,
by a ballooon that had burst in 1991, by my Father.
But the balloon had not burst, it remains with me now,
I sit in it, Peter Pan more than ever, clutching at straws
No hard working reliable companionable man.
9:
Some men marry some women as a totem pole of trophy love.
Some men marry women to be like their Mothers.
Some Mothers marry men who remind them of their Fathers.
Some Mother are Fathers some Fathers wear brassieres.
Everyone must die - with salted regret and peppered tears!
10:
Grow up if you can.
Grow out of the womb.
Build your own lovescape.
Fill your own room.
Strike out independent.
Dare to be a man.
Over come Mickey Mouse
And Kill Peter Pan!