Can Love and Marriage Be Separated?

Love and marriage, love and marriage
Go together like a horse and carriage
This I tell you brother
You can’t have one without the other
Love and marriage, love and marriage
It’s an institute you can’t disparage
Ask the local gentry
And they will say it’s elementary
Try, try, try to separate them
It’s an illusion
Try, try, try, and you will only come
To this conclusion
Love and marriage

Neither exists, not really. So, moot question. Next?

Ulisten, I’m not this Contra guy, or Turd, or Moot, or Dan… I’m tired of being accused of being everyone but me. I’m just discussing a old Frank Sinatra song, you youngin’s likely never heard before.

Sure your not. :wink:

I am me, dammit. Why can’t you accept me for being who I am? I’m tired of being objectified on standards I can’t know or see, or refute. My personhood stems from my sense of being… one day, I just was… someday I will likely die. Why is everyone being so cruel in forcing me to be someone I am not? Shall I give up on my life and live like them too? Lose all free will, and become the soulless autonomata of other people’s perceptions, a Golem to have the word of life ripped from his palate when I don’t perform to expected specifications?

Dammit, I want to be free! The freedom of unique sunsets and everescent beauty, of my beating untamed heart and love of life. My heart beats… it beats without you, it beats for I am. I simply am. You can never take this from me, so stop objectifying me as something other than unique and valued in and of myself.

](*,) :angry-banghead:

Nice edit there.

Talking about yourself. Might as well congratulate yourself. Still a moot question. Oh, I promised to behave at 9:50PM. You’re not going to make it easy though, are you?

You’re*

The above was written during a time when values were different - for many individuals though not all.
Time is quite capable of separating the two, financial problems, egos, faithlessness, treachery - you name it, and the two go their own way.
Marriages are not written in stone - they’re written in commitment, respect for the other, self-respect, endurance, a love which transcends romance and lust but a love which may also include those two qualities flowing through it intermittently.

Aside from that, there is also the marriage of convenience which bears no love but other so-called “goods” are exchanged mutually.

Marriage is a useful practical arrangement, giving you certain permissions (paticuarly visas and hospital visitation rights) that couples sometimes want or need to stay together. Two people in actual love know they will stay together, so generally for them being married or unmarried only makes a difference to the legal elements.

However, most people never find real love. I feel its really those people who make a big deal of the ‘marriage’ of being this big declaration of how long they are going to stay together and how much they love each other. Generally speaking, these people as a couple they need something to cling to because, not being in love, there is an element of insecurity in the relationship that needs papering over. There’s nothing wrong with that, though, people live long and happy lives with people that they like, but are not quite in love with.

In the past (and in many places now), you needed to get married in order to have sex, and I imagine that is a major selling point.

Why does marriage have to be mandatory for love to exist?

It doesn’t. The more mandatory marriage is/becomes, the less love lives in freedom but I suppose that that might just depend on the two individuals and their circumstances.

Is marriage becoming outdated? I don’t know. But I do intuit that a really good, workable marriage is important for the benefit of society and for the raising of children for them to grow into becoming intelligent, rational and functional children.

Nice to meet you, Steve Rhoades.

[b]“Don’t believe what your eyes are telling you. All they show is limitation. Look with your understanding. Find out what you already know and you will see the way to fly.”

“You have the freedom to be yourself, your true self, here and now, and nothing can stand in your way".”

― Richard Bach, Jonathan Livingston Seagull
[/b]
Go in Peace. :mrgreen:

I have nothing against the arrangement socially of marriage.

It’s having marriage under the state I have a bone to pick with.

What do you mean by that?
Having the parents choose the spouses? Then what?

The couple walk three times around the magical Mulberry bush and ergo they are married?

What does it really matter - under the state? Has that stopped people from leaving one another, HaHaHa? :animals-dogrun:

No, what I am saying is that I dislike how the state forces couples to get married through law.

How does the state do that? The states don’t force. Do the states say that a couple cannot live together without the benefit of marriage? Noooooooooooooooooooooooo You live with your girlfriend. Has the state issued a mandate that you must marry her or go to prison?
Consider that there is divorce also.
Again, can you elaborate on what you mean? Maybe I’m just not getting you. :-k

Three words, common law marriage.

HaHaHa,

Ah, common law marriages.
BUT they don’t actually become “marriages” in a sense til when? 5 years or so later - then they are seen by the state as marriages. If I’m not mistaken, that is after one of the partners die? I suppose that technically speaking, they aren’t actually seen as marriages but in a sense that’s what it comes down too.

So, you would have no problem with the state intervening then, would you, when it comes to finances?

You want your cake and you want to eat it too. Nothing wrong with that. We all do but recognize it.

I still don’t see how the state mandates marriages. Can you explain that. I’m missing it.