This is a good thread, and one that needs repeating now and then. The content is always different but the issue is pretty much the same for all of us raised in traditional relgion who decided to travel a different path.
My “passage” was quite similar to Bane’s situation. I was fortunate in that I wasn’t forced to attend church, but boy was I made to pay for it by the family! I finally found a strategy that worked reasonably well. It shut down all the is - isn’t, should - shouldn’t stuff and was basically an agreement to disagree. When religion reared it’s head, I simply made the statement that my spirituals needs were well taken care of, and I had no need to discuss it. This was followed by assuring the other person(s) that I appreciated their concern and comittment to their beliefs. That stopped it right there.
pxc, do you occasionally go to family gatherings? You know, the ones where you’re there but you’re not there? Just consider the Sunday “family outing” one of those situations. It isn’t that you wouldn’t rather be somewhere else, you’re just supporting civilization by being a good family member. We all get caught up in those obligatory social situations and not just with family, but with friends, with business associates, with everyone at some point in our lives. So it isn’t just turning eighteen that will fix the problem, it is something you will deal with your whole life - just like the rest of us.
I had a good friend who was a pastor at a local church, and we discussed theology now and then, as well as strategies for growing his church. He knew full well I was a hard agnostic but that was part of our fun. About once a month I attended church on Sunday if he was doing a sermon on something we had discussed. Now he and I knew why I was there, but the people in the congregation didn’t. So I was greeted kindly, given a little Sunday School pin which I smiled and graciously accepted, because they were being nice and it didn’t change who I was or what I believed. So just be content in being who you are and what you believe. Our spiritual understandings are personal and there is no need to defend those beliefs, no matter whether we are on the street or in a church.
Yes, this is similar to what I was getting at in my post. Part of my, and others’, advice would be to have fun with it. If you’re forced to go to church, have fun with it and make the best of the situation. They want you to study the bible? Fine, study it and show them how full of shit it is. They want you to go to church? Have fun learning about your specific kind of church. Analyze every word the pastor says. Hold him or her intellectually responsible. Learn to understand Christian arguments from every angle.
My wife gets down on me sometimes about my ‘obsession with religion/atheism’. It is only because I was taught that my religion held the meaning and purpose to my life. It had all the answers. Once I found that it falls short and is in fact VERY wrong about most issues, I’m still stuck answering the questions on my own. So a huge part of the journey has become fully analyzing my religion and the exact points where it breaks down, where it doesn’t answer the questions. Part of my journey to finding purpose and meaning has been defining who I am in what I believe, and I believe religion is wrong about a great many things.
There are little interesting pseudo-philosophical thoughts you can come away with from any sermon. This is how I stay awake in church. I find one or two points that the pastor made that can totally be ripped apart.
Fear is the oppsosite of love. The psychological fear of being alone, of not belonging of death even. By not being an accepted member we will be kick out and we will die all alone.
Fear of being oustricized from the clan.
But don’t fault your parents they were told that lie and their parents were told that lie. They only do what they know. It was programmed into them. That emotional need is fear base.
Just consider the Sunday “family outing” one of those situations. It isn’t that you wouldn’t rather be somewhere else, you’re just supporting civilization by being a good family member. We all get caught up in those obligatory social situations and not just with family, but with friends, with business associates, with everyone at some point in our lives. So it isn’t just turning eighteen that will fix the problem, it is something you will deal with your whole life - just like the rest of us.