You need to try your hand at overcoming your stress and nihilism and give sedentary life a more honest shot. I am a Hobo, a Cynic, but do not approve of people entering into the lifestyle voluntarily the first time by their own accord. The lessons are bound to become the lessons ‘This was fucking stupid and not well thought out’ when it starts raining on you, and you know it won’t stop for over a week, or snowing, or when you run out of money. It’s better to try to figure out why you can’t make it, and focus on living more simply and within your means, developing yourself. If you like exploring, and are in health enough to drift, buy a backback or better, a rucksack, and go out hiking either in your city, suburb, or countryside, or a mixture of the three. If you have back to back days off, camp on them while hiking, and return to home and work. Learn the local biology and geology of your region, and the hidden nook and crannies, and map out the shape of your culture and it’s Ekistics. Visit other churches and temples to get a feel for people’s beliefs. Change up your diet a bit.
I do advocate a honest return at times in your life if your without responsibilities to family to a cynic lifestyle if you were once homeless for more than a night. However, you can’t return to it honesty with hindsight as to how better to live and improve yourself unless you honestly entered into it in the first place. Right now, it sounds as if your escaping something. I strongly recommend you confront it… when on foot, ruck as your religion and the stars as your cathedral, Cynicism is the root we must all return to by default, and running from something is anathema to our ways. We have the honesty to observe without as within, and the knowledge and technical and existential experience to overcome the problems we find confronting us.
If you insist upon leaving, I only ask you take this book with you:
amazon.com/Cynic-Epistles-St … 0891301518

This is the exact one I have. It’s from the greek sources, and has the greek translation along side of it- it’s the main textual evidence we have directly from the cynics from the era they actually existed in. It’s of great use. Most of the letters are pseudonymous, but literally came from that era of ancient, active Cynicism, and are incorporated into many other mainstream texts from antiquity, and appear to be universally accepted cynical doctrine that they themselves espoused. It’s a philosophical gem, and is NOT read anymore because it’s assumed the letters being forged makes it invalid to the wider philosophical audience, but it’s most definitely not the case, these were forged (not all are fake) in ancient times, and quoted by some of the best philosophers of we have from the ancient era, as well as forming the basis to the selections of the lives of philosophers we have, and focus on subjects we no longer much consider in philosophy but are still of great importance. If you undertake this lifestyle against my advice, bring this along with you. It focuses on works from 3BC which are purely pagan to later Jewish-Christian adaptations later on on the Cynical movement.
Best of luck either way. I strongly recommend you reconsider. It’s better to live your life bravely in facing what causes you to look away than to flee from it. What you run from, you chase, and what you chase after you cannot have, but always could of. What’s the nature of our nature when we focus upon the looming multifactorous bias of of our reality, our motivating discontent? Are we a whole person under such circumstances? Will fleeing make us whole again, or just weather us to our bone, leaving us more lost and confused and as deep in the shit as ever? One should never set out on a journey without a understanding of the self, without a impending sense of purpose and what we seek to accomplish. We must always set out as the lion at dawn, and never the shy coyote seeking to feed on scraps in the shadows of life, rejected and rejecting. Seek to set out, to approve, improve, and with paternal understand, as a good father and not as a forlorn son lost in the night. Its the line that divides the philosopher from the lost sheep of the night, and it’s the crucible all philosophy must inevitably pass through in the struggle of the ages.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRT7L3913BU[/youtube]