This story (and similar) was found, and it claims to account for the true history of the world:
"To introduce myself, I (by which I mean my prophet-construct) am labelled Apel and I am currently just over 3.141 siyiyr old (A siyiyr is equal to around 299,792,458 solar years -Ed), and like everyone of my great age, I am a historian.
I sit at the beginning of the day and at the end of my humanity, and clutched by the vast history stretching behind me and the abyss yawning at my feet, I feel compelled to tell you how the current state of affairs came to be, as I know it to be.
In the book entitled “The Origin of Species” it relates that many siyiyr before I was ever written, a star system span a planet rich in medium mass elements and abundant in liquid dihydrogen-monoxide. As is apparantly common, this celestial orb produced organisms of great variety, and these became my ancestors. Many fine examples of life flourished across the galaxy from this single genus.
Personally I doubt whether I believe that all carbon-life came from a single rock. It does not seem feasible that crude genetics is flexible enough (shocking though it seems, it is indeed known that these ancients relied upon protein codes to fashion bodies for themselves, and their information was no doubt skewed by this squishy foundation).
I should point out that at the time of publication, this book was taken to be a farce, and its prophet-construct (whose label has been lost to our records (but is labelled Pashn)) seemed to support his reader’s conclusions. This is now recognised as a supreme act of eisegestic manipulation on Pashn’s part (eisegesis was the science of enforcing an interpretation upon a text, though it is unclear how a text could manipulate someone to force a particular interpretation upon itself -Ed). Shortly after, history was written that attributed this book as the sole cause of WAR:MMMLXXXIVI and eisegesis was banned, and this I believe is correct.
In the current and last age, the book is known as the only true account; what was a farce for Pashn’s contemporaries was ratified by the work of ten thousand official People’s Republic Attributed Directors of Violence Avoidance to be true to the effects caused by history. The empirical evidence was determined to be 100% conclusive. Nevertheless, despite this bias, it is true.
“The Origin of Species” has the following to say about its own history: ‘My author sat down at the end of the day, and grabbed by the grand future before him and the empty cavern of the unknown past lieing(sic) in his wake he started to prophesise. He said, “I’m just thinking out loud, dont take this so seriously, but… ah!” and thus I was written on siyiyr 3.141 by prophet-construct Apel (who is labelled Pashn)’.
Unfortunately my amendment has failed to be true and Pashn is lost to our records."
.RL