You need to be aware of consciousness and control it or you merely operate automatically.
You’re an observer Bob not a Player…That’s your problem.You don’t introduce control of consciousness because you don’t believe that you exist to be able to.
There are two consciousness types…in the waking state.
1.The “in the head” out of the moment consciousness state which is where you get the idea that you are nothing but thoughts….hence Descartes foolish claim “I think,therefore I am”.
2.The “in the full body” in the moment consciousness state.
The difference between the two consciousness states is the sense TOUCH.
I exist because I need to exist to claim that I don’t exist.If I claim that I don’t exist then I am a liar who exist.I am not a misrepresentation of reality (an illusion).