I’m sure we all have our rules of posting and responding to posts. I thought I would post mine and ask for comments.
Rule #1: Obey the forum rules as established by the forum admins. This is common sense since you can be banned forever, and what good is that?
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Try to define terms. Often I find that the terms in use are being used differently by different people.
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If you can’t agree on term definitions: Sometimes I can work within another person’s definitions and the discussion can continue. Other times the definitions are so unpalatable to me that I have to excuse myself from the discussion.
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Types of annoyances and my reactions:
A. Mild condescension: Not a problem. Sometimes it’s hard not to have a tone of “you don’t know what your talking about” so I accept it. Also there is sarcasm that sort of mocks your position, which I think is OK. BUT, there has to be a meaningful dialog happening at the same time. If the other person is just making immature remarks without any real points being made, I will excuse myself from the discussion with that person.
B. Personal attacks: A problem. If a person comes right out and calls me an idiot (or some other derivative), I consider that to be rude and immature, and I will initiate what I call…
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The Personal Ban: This is just staying away from people who are insulting, rude and/or immature.
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Compromise: This is a big goal of mine. Reaching a compromising is one of the most satisfying parts of participating int the forums.
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Polls: I love polls. One thing I’ve learned: always add “Other” as a choice since there is usually someone with a view that doesn’t fit your choices.
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I’ve changed my behavior since I was banned from another web site. Now, I’ve got a non-threatening avatar, I use smileys whenever possible, use jokes, say “haha!”, and primarily…
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Never do ad hominem attacks: As soon as I get the feeling “this guy is stupid” I withdraw from the argument without saying “I think you are stupid”. Attacking the person accomplishes nothing and comes across as immature. You make yourself look bad when you do it. One tactic that I like is to…
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Say that “I don’t get it”: Really, a few times I’ve realized that it was I who was stupid, and that my thinking that someone else is stupid was, well… stupid. So rather than assume that the other person “doesn’t get it”, I try to assume that maybe I’m not getting it. So I will exit a thread after saying “I’m confused”, or “I don’t understand”, or some other humble statement. Be humble.
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Ask questions. This is one way to…
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Reduce others’ long statements into simple ones: Often folks write really long rambling posts that contain 2-10 points that are all scrambled. Usually I can only address one at a time since the extra-long post is usually designed to allow for changing the subject. By this I mean, if you can get traction on rebuking someone on one aspect of a topic, they can shift to another part of the topic and ignore your point. That’s why I usually…
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Avoid big posts: For some reason big posts seem hard to argue. Ironically, they probably have a lot of debatable points to discuss, but the original poster can steer the debate away from a weakness and towards a strength. Also, it’s just a lot of work to read and understand everything.
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I never post in the “Religion” forum.
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Use numbers to separate points. If I just lumped all of these bullets into a single paragraph, that would give the impression of a “big post”. Well delineated points make it easier to identify and debate and contrast individual points.
Wow, that was a lot. Sorry if I hogged the topic already. Any comments? Additions?
