I am thinking TOYS! Nothing quite grabs a child’s attention and indoctrinates them to a system of beliefs quite like Toys. (Well maybe cartoons, lets do both).
Plato Plush dolls. Every child can sleep safely snuggled tightly to Plato safe in the knowledge that ideals really do exist and they really are worth striving for. And that Sophists are all bad!
Aristotle Action Figures. Thrill to plastic combat as Aristotle schools Alexander the Geat in all things wise, while laying a beatdown on those dirty Atomists!
Socrates tea set. No, it isn’t really Hemlock, honest.
As for cartoons, I am thinking of a series featuring the English Empricists squaring off against the German Idealists. “Synthetic This,” a humble Hume screams at Kant before dropping an anvil on his head.
I am also thinking of some merchandise for adults.
For religous fundamentalists, you could sell authentic replicas of the oyster shells used to scrape the flesh from poor Hypatias bones. Inscribed on each one will be that mantra of old: “She is smart, she is beautiful, and she doesn’t think like we do… lets kill her!”
For that special brother-sister relationship there is, Nietzsche birthday cards.
A cookbook by Descartes… “I eat, therefore I am.”
Kant’s seminal work, “The Arrow of Time, as it applies to Euclidean Space”
Zeno and the Stoics release their greatest hits, including “Forty Seven Minutes of Calm Silence in the Face of Death”
Any more ideas would be greatly appreciated.