human conversation

Hello all.I have a topic that i have thought about and would like to see a different perspective and criticism.
the topic is about human contact.we as humans have ways of comunicating to each other by ways of words and also body lauguage.we determine the way a person is by how they react to our test of comunication.the latter person may look down or look at you dirrectly into the eyes.that right there tells you about someone.but what if a person knows how he would react to be not the person he is but to make himself understand certain charactritics of other human beings.i belive by understanding all human reactions to different stimuli you can be a ultimate of conversation but can this also make a person insane?thoughts?

hey sublimed,

I’m not sure I understand what you mean when you say, “what if a person knows how he would react to be not the person he is…”

it seems you are trying to suggest some way of stepping outside ourselves to understand human behaviors, maybe more “objectively,” but why would anyone need to do this? (even if we could) I’m not sure but isn’t that what empathy is about…being able to understand how someone else maybe feeling or thinking?

also I don’t know why this could potentially make someone insane–it may just be very difficult to do and certainly people can wrongly interpret what others may mean sometimes, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t possible for us to interpret and get it right…isn’t this one of the reasons why we attempt to communicate in the first place?

Or maybe I have just totally misinterpreted the intent of your post :unamused:

I think it would drive one insane. I mean, I have just been in this group work and certainly didn’t get along with one of the persons there. I realise she had personal problems and instead of searching within herself to solve her situation, she made me a symbol of her problems. I suppose I wasn’t the first one. But I can’t give in to a person in a situation like that. I can’t accept everything she says when it’s so clearly related to her personal problems and not any proffesional attitude. She wanted the work ingredients to be adapted to her situation. She wasn’t fit for university work just then.

In such situations, I think the best is to not give in. This is the first term for her and then you have to learn about the realities of university work, because the next term there should be no misunderstanding what you face. If she continues the way she was doing during our group work, I can hardly see how she will reach next term. So, hopefully she has gone through something since then and now have a totally different attitude to work. But the kind of personal problems she had seemed too grave to have been solved yet. But hopefully, the entrance into university will mean that she is forced to seek within herself, instead of judging others so quickly.

I’m relieved the group work seems to have passed. Of course, there are other persons it’s difficult to relate to. I don’t think one should adapt too much. I can understand that everybody can’t be in the same situation. Someone maybe wants to be lent a hand somehow. And I think it’s good to give indications that reality really isn’t like everyday life may give impression of to certain persons. And make them get more in harmony with the world and accept the circumstances given. Everyday life is play and shouldn’t be taken as reality.

So, one should accept the plurality of life situations one meets. And if one gets a feeling of how a certain person must feel and feels there is a need one can at least partly satisfy, everything taken into consideration, one may act accordingly. In the group work, there wasn’t all her needs I could satisfy, but some of them I felt it was all right to accept. But the conflict situation created made the group work far from ideal. I lost motivation, concentration and focus…

One person in class seems to have taken this girl to her heart and tries to support her while, I have noticed, also trying to make her more relaxed and less aggressive against the outside world. Outside school, this girl and I have happened to walk together to and from school sometimes and she appears to think I’m all right outside of group work. And that’s of course because I don’t dear to say anything she might find provocative (and it doesn’t take that much). So she believes I enjoy her company while I do not. Although I understand I could have liked her had she been at another point in life (or I for that matter)…

So, I don’t think we can care too much about how come everybody we meet feel the way they do. Then we lose focus and that’s not too good… one shouldn’t get lost and I’m afraid that’s what happens if one becomes too emphatetic because it tends to be a burden and really not that much of a solution and give importance to things that may best be treated as not so serious. I do believe humans are altruistic. But in today’s world you get crazy if trying to introduce altruistic modes of behaviour colliding with unspoken norms and so on. It makes life troublesome. But if one wants to test it and feels strong enough to do so, one should of course. But it is risqy in a world where you don’t even have complete control in the “normal” life. Don’t make life too difficult, basically…

Sublimed, did you mean that complete empathy and objectivity would be similar to multiple personality disorder? Certainly having a huge amount of empathy could destroy someone’s sense of self… I think there’s a name for this and it used to be suffered a lot by “sleeper” secret agents, but I can’t remember it atm.