Say you do an action X in defiance of somebody named P. You were wrong in doing X, according to the rules set forth by P. Later on, P does something, Y, against you. P was wrong in doing Y, according to the rules set forth by you. The interesting part here is that YOU DON’T KNOW whether or not P purposefully meant to perform Y, against your wishes. Does finding out the answer to this mystery really matter, now that you’re both even? Should you retaliate further against P? After all, P may not even have meant to do Y against you. What do you think?
In general, is being even with another person more important than knowing why an event occurs?
I would say that if P had not intended to do Y, then you are not actually even.
Although you both suffered equally perhaps, the degree of mutual suffering is not what constitutes “being even”. Very many simple minded adults think in that fashion and it creates serious problems.
The reason that you are not “even” is that one person intentionally, “with malice” attacked the other. Whereas the other, although perhaps misguided, merely “accidentally” affected. The imbalance is that one has an enemy with intent to do harm, while the other has merely enacted harm without any sign of maliciousness or being an enemy. One is passive but misguided. The other is aggressive and malicious.
The intent in punishment or “justice” (resolving evenness/justness), is that the malicious are taught to not be malicious. But a mere accidental or misguided retribution doesn’t really teach that. Thus there really hasn’t been any justice, merely more suffering with more to come. Nor has the misguided learn to not be so misguided. If evenness is declared, they merely come to accept that being misguided isn’t an issue and being malicious is merely an issue of escaping blame (misguided or not).
You are not really “even” until the opponent has learned to not attack you. Added suffering is not really required, but apes love such things.
It seems to me the why would help determine if you are even.
If I see Jim on the street and angrily swing the wheel and run him over on purpose and two days later a miraculously healthy Jim pulls his car into his garage and does not notice that I have snuck into his house and am lying on the garage floor wanking and so runs me over, we are not even. He still has much better grounds to hate me than I have of him. Though at this point he will probably be well on the way to feeling sorry for his poor, messed up neighbor.