If god were a woman

Social Forums Non-Philosophical Chat
1

with tongue firmly in cheek… sort of.

  1. there would be no parallel parking
  2. high heels would not exist
  3. men could talk about their feelings (if anything as stupid as men were allowed)
  4. there would be way more derogitory names for male genitals and way fewer ones for female genitals
  5. women would never have to shop for a swimsuit
  6. 2/3 of the world’s poor wouldn’t be women
  7. no way the whole period thing would happen
  8. chocolate wouldn’t be bad for you, in fact, it would actually be considered a vitamin

anyone else?

2

Can’t… God’s not male or female…

3

If God was a man…

1) He’d let us understand the ‘signals’ and ‘hints’ woman give us, so as to help get us into their pants.

No, even better! He’d not have made woman give those damn hints and signals in the first place… he’d have made them have the confidence to tell us what the hell they want instead of getting mad when we dont understand/notice their so called ‘hints’ and ‘signals’.

Damn God, why hast thou forsaken us!!?

2) He’d make woman leave us alone when we dont want to be disturbed, all the time for instance - Unless for sex or delivery of food/beer. Then, and only on those occasions, would it be permissable.

3) He’d have given us more time to drink beer and of course, less clothing. If he was a man, we’d all be sitting around drinking beer in Toga’s! Right lads? …Right!
[size=75]Chants[/size] ‘Toga! Toga! Toga! Toga! Toga!’

4

Absolutely. Hell, I do that anyway…

5

If God were a woman

Men would have to give birth at least half the time

Sex would last longer then 3 seconds to 3 minutes

The sounds and smells coming from men would be much more pleasant

sports would only be shown late at night or early morning.

Names for object would all include thingy at the beginning or end

Politics would be handled at apropriate relaxing places such as a spa

religion would be more fun, less anal

wars would be fought with snide catty comments and cocktails.

Men would have to actually carry the baby for the last trimester

6

One - when God created man she was only jokin.

he he

Now there’s some genuine festivals of cruelty!

(‘:)’)

7

Wooot! Amen, brother!

I’d also like to add this:
4) Woman are terrible drivers and dont know anything about politics; if God were a man, he’d have banned them from driving, voting and talking without permission - Take that, bitches!

:laughing:

8

If God were a woman there wouldn’t be wars at all. We would just sit around for hours bitching and moaning about each other.

:confused:

9

What do you mean if?