Thirst is…
- Wolverine - clearly it fits his style of posting.
- The Daredevil - he may be super, but he is blind… to arguments.
- Swamp Thing - he may be a good guy, but he sure is ugly!
- A villain, a jerk, and a fool. He’s "The Riddler!"
- Wait! Who’s Thirst?
Hello F(r)iends,
As requested, and inspired by Tabula Rasa (see below)
I bring you the following villains and superheroes…
Ben: Xavier – founder of the X-men. He is our leader because he has given us a safe haven/mansion (ILP), he deals with various attitudes of his members (superheroes and villians).
Strengths: Psychic powers… He can ban your ass on a whim and since he’s the boss you can’t complain.
Weakness: He has a kind heart that gets him into trouble with evil villains and he is really young.
Classification: Superhero
Xanderman: Cyclops – team leader of the ILP-men, err X-men. He is always kissing Xavier’s ass, trying to keep everyone in order (see photo thread) and working as a team to contribute towards a goal. At times you doubt if he can close the deal because he, like his mentor, is kind-hearted.
Strengths: Lasers from eyes… he is underestimated as a philosopher & person.
Weaknesses: Light heart, and few give him the respect he deserves.
Classification: Superhero
Impenitent: Magneto – he is Xavier’s biggest nemesis; philosophically speaking. He has no mercy for the mediocre, would ban at will, would crush opposition, and would relish in the destruction of those that are not fit (mutants are the way of the future).
Strengths: Controls anything metallic (yup, I would serve him). Not really a bad guy though.
Weaknesses: Does not possess sufficient strength (power) to destroy everybody. His body is aging…
Classification: Ãœbermensch, err Super Villain.
LiquidAngel: Jean Grey – umm, she’s smart, she’s sexy, she’s unattainable. Yup, this bitch is a villain. Joking! Joking People! She too, now serves Professor Xavier is his plan to conquer, I mean save, the world. She is like a butterfly in grace.
Strengths: Uses her mind to take over yours and make you her slave (sex optional?)
Weaknesses: Always on about some conspiracy that Magneto is planning to crush the world… wait she may be on to something…
Classification: Bitch. I kid, I kid (since I am fond of her I tease.) She is certainly a Super-heroine and super human.
Dunamis: Superman – yes ladies and gentleman, we have a real life Übermensch at ILP. He is a real polymath and I must say that there is a paucity of talented men like him.**
Strengths: Veridical Perception
Weaknesses: Kryptonite (we have not found this at ILP yet, though our very own Detrop is working on it.
Classification: Superhero - Dionysus in the flesh… (even though Dunamis would prolly be against that interpretation of him)
Detrop: The Punisher – Our dear psychologically troubled Detrop, err Punisher. He is full of anger, hate, resentment, yet there is good in him. He seeks vengeance and change in this corrupt and evil world, but he cannot do it all himself.
Strengths: Has an array of guns unlike the Feds have ever seen! He is a tactician with combat training.
Weaknesses: Dunamis, err I mean Superman, err… no, really it is HIMSELF!
Classification: Blink of an eye with this guy… he’s as likely to kill you as to save you… I say Human Hero.
Jerry: Captain America – he is here to preserve the American way of life, especially capitalism since it has made all “superherodom†possible (how else would billionaire Batman exist?).
Strengths: Incredibly sharp mind combined with Batman-esque/martial arts type fighting abilities.
Weaknesses: Guns N’ Roses “Paradise City†It gets him evertime… hiding behind the “Shield†of faith.
Classification: Human Hero.
Old_Gobbo: Captain Canuck 
- he actually exists. He is the red-headed stepbrother of North America’s real hero. However, he is one of the good guys.
Strengths: Has a big whistle that he can use to summon Captain America if there is trouble.
Weaknesses: He smokes too much weed to remember where he put the whistle. Hates ‘big brother’ (double meaning).
Classification: Sidekick.
Zenofeller: Hannibal Lecter – charming, brilliant genius, mild mannered, well respected… but within lurks the mind of a diabolical murderer. He may be your next door neighbor and you don’t even know the horrors of his basement.
Strengths: Possesses brilliant mind, a strong stomach, and is a radical. He can do ANYTHING he puts his mind to…
Weaknesses: Vivaldi, Chopin, Wagner – he gets put in a trance.
Classification: Human Villain.
Tentative: The Flash – he is in and out of there faster than you can say: floccinaucinihilipilificastically (meaning he posts as quickly as can be but he is nearly always effective.
Strengths: Flashes of light (thoughts) shine brilliantly to blind his opponents.
Weaknesses: He stutters. Uh, well, umm. Also, sadly, the ladies claim he lives up to his name in the bedroom. 
Classification: Superhero
TheAdlerian: Doctor Doom – archenemy of the Fantastic Four (not Tab’s) plus he is a doctor (allegedly) that wants to destroy all parasites that challenge his notion of a perfect world. He is egotistical and a tad maniacal, but you can’t doubt his genius.
Strengths: Stamina… with post after post after post… he will wear almost anyone out.
Weaknesses: The three “P’sâ€: People, Porn, and Psychology. Ha, ha!
Classification: Super Villain, super human
Shyster: The Bride, Beatrix Kiddo – smart, sexy, strong, unafraid, dangerous: a symbol of female strength and assertiveness. She will let no Tom, Dick, and Harry rule her. She seems to have a thing for The Punisher… or maybe punishment? Well, she is certainly out for vengeance on the corrupt world of adult… entertainment.
Strengths: Will use various [i]props[/i] (swords, fists, cuffs, knives, beads, etc) to dice you—and you will love it! She also has the Five Point Exploding Penis Technique.
Weaknesses: Also has a thing for Wonder Woman or is it wonderful women?
Classification: Human Heroine.
PhilosophyGirl: Wonder Woman – she, too, is smart and sexy, strong and unafraid. However, as far as hero(ine)s are concerned, she is not widely acknowledged as great. That is, until someone makes a movie about her. Coming Soon to a theatre near you.
Strengths: Roundhouse kick and strange sexual powers.
Weaknesses: Ad Hominem…
Classification: Slut, err, I mean Human Heroine.
Dr. Satanical: Freddy Krueger – the man is scary OK! He reminds me of the Metallica song “Harvester of Sorrow†where the lyrics say: All have said their prayers. Invade their nightmares! That’s consistent with the Doc and with Mr. Nightmare on Elm Street.
Strengths: Invades your nightmares and abuses you… yes, even sexually.
Weaknesses: http://www.churchofsatan.com ‘Nuff said.
Classification: Super Villain.
Tabula Rasa: Batman – the guy is the Dark Knight… formerly of England & Gotham City. He swoops around from place to place (forum to forum) kicking the ass of bad guys. He has amazing skills and is getting better all the time.
Strengths: Martial Arts philosopher – he doesn’t mind getting down and dirty.
Weaknesses: He has to constantly rescue Robin and Batgirl from The Joker.
Classification: Human Hero.
Satyr: The Joker – this guy has a sick sense of humor but for some reason you don’t want him to die. He has a penchant for stealing the spotlight (see first movie) and has a unique, satirical mood.
Strengths: Can laugh in the face of defeat, can cause a lot of problems, does not die despite Batman’s best efforts.
Weaknesses: Robin (he secretly has a thing for her).
Classification: Human Villain
Embracetrees: Batgirl! Yeah! She is cute, spicy, a little Lolita. She has spunk, and gives it her all to save the world… environment. She seeks approval from Robin and from Batman…
Strengths: Can suck your cough blood… oh wait, she’s not a vampire…
Weaknesses: Has a thing for the bad boys.
Classification: Human Heroine
Bessy: Robin… yup Robin is a girl! Ewwwww! What are you six? looks in mirror Attitude, fortitude, and will welcome you to pleasureville. This minx will cut off your balls and break your heart as she saves your soul.
Strengths: Will love you to death even if you hurt her…
Weaknesses: If you hurt her, she will love you to death…
Scythekain: The Tick… this well meaning liberal fool is upright and wants to do good… except his feeble mind does not allow him to thoroughly understand complex arguments. However, he is a kind, considerate, and brave person.
Strengths: Sspoooooooooon!!! Nearly indestructible body and arguments (you can’t argue with him )
Weaknesses: Anything mental and the mention of “Con†preceded by “Neoâ€
Classification: Lovable oaf… I mean Super Dork, I mean Hero.
Uccisore: Spiderman – this clean shaven and virtuous young man is upright in the eyes of him watching above (his uncle). He has an awesome intellect, fierce sense of loyalty to that which is right. He is a little dull despite his attempts at humor and what the fuck is up with the Mary Jane problem?
Strengths: Can dish out witty (but dry) comments to the villains and can stand up to almost anyone.
Weaknesses: Lacks patience with fools… that’s like 90% of the world people!
Classification: Superhero.
Noetician: Catwoman – she works out all the time, she is very attractive and like all felines, she plays hard to get.
Strengths: Speed and catlike reflexes.
Weaknesses: Gilbert Gottfried! For god’s sake!
Classification: Villainous heroine?
PinnacleOfReason: He-man - protector of Catholicism and all that is good, this ambiguous fellow roams around confusing everybody to the point of being a joke. He has a thing for his sister, but she is too busy getting busy with Skeletor behind He-man’s back.
Strengths: Ignores requests for answers, continuity, consistency, but wants to do good.
Weaknesses: His Struggle against the Jews, Gays, and Racial Mixing. “I wants mah sister She-Ra fer me.â€
Classification: A super hero in his own mind.
Aspacia: She-Ra – this incestuous woman loves to claim she is a smarty, but she lacks the ability to command a simple thing like the “[ quote ]†button. She preaches up and down the streets about the greatness of America while simultaneously representing the stupidity that holds America down. However, she is a well-meaning person, a kind soul, she tries hard. She could be champion at the Special Olympics.
Strengths: Blind to everything around her…
Weaknesses: …except the reality of the world.
Classification: Confused… err Hero.
Colinsign: The Human Torch – what can we say… the guy’s a flamer.
Strengths: Fire and poetry
Weaknesses: Men in tights… so, pretty much all villains and heroes.
Classification: Bi…cycles.
Psyque: The Hulk – this professor was exposed to radiation or some rock (crack-cocaine). He is this unbeatable beast with his ad hominem arguments and psychobabble. Also, his brilliant mind has been affected by the radiation and he spews forth liberal revisionist bullshit! He is a great guy though…
Strengths: Ummm… I’m thinking.
Weaknesses: You name it, he’s go it!
Gamer: James Bond – smooth with the ladies, eloquent, often inspired, in a league of his own, plays by his own rules… he has bedded more female villain foes than all of the other heroes and villains combined. He has a sharp tongue with unmatched wit and sarcasm.
Strengths: He can use anything… or nearly nothing to escape sticky situations: like choosing who is sexier, Dunamis or Shyster. LOL!
Weaknesses: Man-slut forgets to wear rubbers (condoms).
Classification: Cool. Human Hero of course.
Thirst4Metal: Wolverine – he can be an absolutely stubborn asshole, he is a survivor that will outlive most everyone. He has a temper, he can be very illogical, he doesn’t play by the rules, he rushes into things, he has a ‘metallic’ personality. He has claws (like all pussy cats). He can’t be de-clawed and he does as he pleases. That’s me alright!
Strengths: Can smash your face in and does not worry about getting himself hurt—he heals quickly.
Weaknesses: Ain’t too bright.
Classification: Superhero.
I request you tell me if I have you pegged absolutely wrong or dead on or kinda or what… Also, below are a few names of people I want to get in but I ran out of steam. Please come up with something yourselves:
Someoneisatthedoor; Monooq (Lex Luthor anyone?)
FtheNaysayers (Megatron?); MyRealName
Bob; Delboy; Uniqor
GateControlTheory; Phaedrus (Optimus Prime anyone)
James No. 2; Sagesound; Samkhya
A few heroes/villains I would like to include: Locutus, Megatron, Lex Luthor, Professor Moriarty, Sherlock Holmes, King Arthur… and so on.
-Thirst4AdamantiumClaws
[size=75]**Note: I kinda ripped off the comments about Dunamis from Woody Allen’s “Anything Else.”[/size]
