The best thing to realize is that if someone broke up with you they don’t like you, and to like them is a waste of time when there are people that will actually like you somewhere out there.
You are lucky that you broke up.
Scarily enough, I’m with the Adlerian on this one. Things end badly, or they wouldn’t end. Love goes down the toilet for all kinds of reasons, most of them actually external to the two people involved, time, money, jobs, lack of jobs, distance, readiness, past regrets and present longings.
It’s amazing anyone gets together these days.
As long as you don’t buy into the “there is only one true love a lifetime” illusion, you’ll be fine. Yes, the absence of her hurts, and yes, it will still hurt tomorrow, but one day you’ll wake, and it will be gone.
Get out more in the meantime, and if you’re old enough to drink, get drunk, and bleed emotionally all over your friends until they are sick of you, that’s what friends are for.
Geçmiş olsun, as we say here: “May it be passed”
Hi,
Please keep on topic folks and leave the penis wars at the door. Matthew E. has asked for some advice so let’s all have a big hug and give him some support.
thanks
- ben
yeah, if you get that “carpe diem” thing going, than youre just wasting the short life you have, i say: “Tabula Rosa!”. get a clean slate and start finding new women.
everyone gets over a breakup sometime, you must know that. no matter what you will end up getting over it. so in the meantime, take Thirst’s advice and occupy yourself with anything that will get your mind off her. find a new hobby, get a puppy! people are 80% more likely to start a conersation with dog owners! talk about babe magnet… 
good night, and good luck…
Thanks for all the response; I forgot how much fun this place could be. 
De’trop:
I’ll shoot you a PM detailing the scenario when I have the time, as ever since watching “I Heart Huckabees” I’ve dreamt of hiring an existential detective. I’ve always enjoyed reading your posts, as they are ripe with self-awareness and analysis of human motivation. I don’t always agree with your conclusions, but that can be said of everyone I’ve ever come in contact with. I’d be intereted to see what you thought of my situation.
Old_Gobbo:
Tried it twice- never did figure out what all the excitement’s about. Nonetheless, it gave me a good laugh. Thanks.
Tentative & Peter Kropotkin:
By doing nothing, I’m assuming you’re referring to no longer speaking with her. I agree that through time I will absolutely be over her, as I am with all my past girlfriends. What I’m wrestling with is whether or not I should pursue to mend things or simply let it go. Once I’ve figured that out, it’s just a matter of sticking to the game plan.
Rounder:
You’re right, it’s an absolute waste of time and money running scenarios through my head. The curious thing about emotions is that they pervade your thoughts so much you can’t ignore them, at least for a considerable amount time from my experience. I was simply hoping for a cure-all answer that I knew I wouldn’t get- it still helps to ask for some reason.
Quizkid:
I have to respectfully disagree that it’s out of my control. Granted, there are situations when reigniting a relationship is no longer an option, but I don’t think I’ve hit that point just yet.
Thanks for the advice on just allowing myself to grieve, you made a good point.
thirst4metal:
First legal advice, now love advice- where do I send the check?
Regarding your points 1 & 2: I’m actually very middle-of-the-road when it comes to extroversion and introversion, although I do find myself feverishly doing anything that will keep me from sitting at home alone.
Going from having sex daily to not even masturbating is quite a tall order. I’m not making any promises.
Tabula Rasa & The Adlerian:
“most of them actually external to the two people involved, time, money, jobs, lack of jobs, distance, readiness, past regrets and present longings.”
So very true, which is what makes it so difficult. It wasn’t any sort of innate differences that drove us apart. Our personalities clicked so well it bordered on scary. Sex was phenomenal. External factors are what drove her away, not necessarily me. I suppose that is what I really regret the most, that I didn’t do more to alleviate the stresses of our predicament when I could have. It’s just so rare to meet a girl that you “click” with so well. Part of me fears never finding it again, which is most likely why I’m still contemplate tying to get her back (which I don’t believe will be too difficult, just very time consuming and stagnating to my life if it doesn’t work. It may be better just to move on).
…ahem…
Matthew E.,
I’ve got a lot of experience with women and let me tell you that I finally decided to get married when I met a woman that was totally unaffected by external situations. You know you love someone when trouble or obstacles makes you want to stand closer to your friend/partner.
Like I said, you were lucky to find out now.
You’re going to do what your heart tells you to do anyway. So, sign off, and go for it.
Haha… nice… 
I apologize Embracetrees! You must have sent your post while I was writing mine. A dog is a wonderful idea, but I’m not sure I want the responsibility that goes along with it. I’ve found a simple “hello” to a passing woman is easier in the long run.
I did find it rather endearing of Ben to come to my unnecessary rescue during the thread hijack. What a great site owner, eh?
In my mind I know you’re right, just my heart is saying otherwise. In a month or two your standpoint is probably the exact mentality I’ll have.