…and therefore exceptionally miserable and lonely. I was with a great girl for the past 6 months but under extremely delicate and tenuous circumstances that ultimately broke us up. The possibily still exists that we’ll get back together, which makes dealing with it even worse. Oh the humanity!
Any words of wisdom or coping mechanisms this motley crew of philosophers can offer me?
Eat some chicken noodle soup and spike it with some whiskey. Then lay on your bed, toilet or go on a walk [whereever your most philosophical thoughts usualy come most from] and think about why you are miserable, and arrive at the conclusion that there is nothing you can do to stop your misery and the one chance to stop it is only by waiting.
Oi…im so bad at this.
Stay away from any deadly objects, and I dunno if this helps but everyone has been through what you are going through and they turned out fine…oi im bad at this.
If none of this works i suggest the soup and then go and work on something time and effort consuming to take your mind of things. If that doesnt work go play paintball. Cuz when you are playing paintball your adrenaline and instinct kick in thought, emotion and conetmplation [other then fear, excitment] don’t exist. Shooting at others without consequences of murder is very stress-releiving and beneficial to the halth of the body and mind.
Get drunk, find a prostitute, beat her to death with a tire iron.
Not necessarily in that order.
Gobbo you are fucking haliroius.
Kill her. I’m serious, nothing mends a broken heart like murdering someone. Just ask detrop…
On a more serious note - either get back together with her (carpe diem) or decide that the split is permanent - either way don’t mope about it. It won’t help you. Or go to the gym and beat seven bells out of a punchbag, which cures almost every frustration. You’ll probably find that you can think more clearly too…
join a band, get yourself a harmonica and play the blues…
after the gig, the groupies will flock to your blowing prowess…
-Imp
If you don’t get off my fucking back I’m gonna kill you, fatty.
Don’t listen to SIATD, Matthew. He thinks he runs things around here because he’s a mod and an editor. He’s here all the time, waiting for PhilosophyGirl to have forum sex with him. Just ignore him.
Honestly, I don’t know what to tell ya’. My own experiences in relationships have rendered me hard as a rock- incapable of emotional trauma and heartbreak. I approach the social aspects of relationships objectively, indifferently, and with analytical precision. (Its my Aquarian influence…I can’t help it) I examine the conditions which cause those conflicts and seek solutions which can be employed for all relationships in those settings. The ‘science’ of love, if you will, and the methods for preventing the problems that occur.
I’m gonna need more details to form a prognosis, because I am an existential detective. I can’t work with what you have givin me so far. These other thugs advise you to beat a punching bag or become a rock star, but you and I both know that ain’t gonna solve anything, so fuck 'em.
If I were you, I would devise a trouble-shooting schemata arranged in an outline form, written of course, which we can proceed to examine. We will approach it logically and pragmatically, and not philosophically. If you want a philosophical solution, read the back of a cracker-jack box or go to a Chinese resturant and get some fortune cookies. Better yet, talk to LA. She’ll direct you to Osho, where everything and nothing at all makes sense- then you will kill yourself and proceed into the spirit valley where all is bliss.
Let me know what you want to do. And good luck, sir. Oh, and listen to Frank Zappa’s songs entitled “Broken Hearts are for Assholes” and “Wild Love.” Frank Zappa is the greatest teacher and wiseman that ever lived.
This may sound stupid, but at least it won’t be as flip as most of the responses. Don’t do anything.The more you try to get away from the pain the more painful it will be. Let the pain be there. Over time, it will subside, and the relationship will get better or cease to exist. All relationships bring consequences. Some are good, some aren’t, but trying to avoid either just magnifies them.
JT
tentative:This may sound stupid, but at least it won’t be as flip as most of the responses. Don’t do anything. The more you try to get away from the pain the more painful it will be. Let the pain be there. Over time, it will subside, and the relationship will get better or cease to exist. All relationships bring consequences. Some are good, some aren’t, but trying to avoid either just magnifies them.
K: Finally an intelligent response. Time will cure everything.
Given a year or two, you won’t even remember what she looked
like. There are over 3 billion women in the world. I think
you can find someone else. Really I do.
Kropotkin
Just because most women aren’t rational don’t allow them to bring you to an irrational state, Ie; depression over the loss of a lover… good god man pull yourself together. I feel no sorrow for you, or your loss. Your ‘self’ has been hurt aww poor you. Its an exuctive function, not a romeo in a shakespearian play, theres no need to tie it in with the lower emotions created by amygdala. Now your life has been disturbed, and you are not functioning optimally, your probably using critical brain power entertaining fantasies of getting back together(no doubt your a bit of a James bond type character in these silly fantasies, where you wisk the girl off of her feet and you live happily ever after). My advice: Stop being silly, and wasting brain power, and start using your mind to meet actuality.
[edit] You should find it a far better life then moping around and ‘hurting inside’
You were much more interesting when you were talking about smashing capitalism and why Sartre isn’t a total joke intellectually than in your recent adolescent accusations. And if I were to try to forum fuck a ILPite it wouldn’t be PG…
You are just embarassed because you laid your heart out on a lollipop stick for Arendt and she’s clearly ignored it. Given that I actually tried to help you in that endeavour I find your current aggression toward me bizarre and unwarranted. Still, you’ve got nothing else to talk about until you discover Gramsci…
This situation is beyond your control. Try to get back together if you feel that you must, but realize that for the most part that this is beyond your control.
If you are finally and totally broke up, then allow yourself to grieve. You are going to grieve anyway, and any attempt to, um, anesthetize or insulate yourself from the grieving process will ultimately cause more pain.
On another note;
détrop and SIATD, either fight like men or get over it. You two sound downright catty.
I don’t believe you Detrop. I can smell fear. Perhaps you will be ok so long as you hold onto your sense of recklessness, and not try to make a ‘science’ out of it. That is the end of vulnerability and the beginning of a ‘no’ to time, and life. I hope you never forget your Nietzsche, in this respect.
“Oh, we are tragic men. Butcher’s hands, gentle souls…”
Regards,
James
Hello F(r)iends,
Matthew, if I may offer you some advice:
(1) If you are anti-social, become more social. Try different activities to keep you busy. In my opinion, doing “nothing” is the worst thing you can do if you are anti-social because you will brood on the breakup for a long time.
(2) If you are very social, become less social and focus on activities with only a couple (at most) friends that are not a part of your usual social circle. Those who are close to you will constantly remind you of your breakup which opens the wound. Again, focus on activities that will keep your mind busy.
(3) Do not masturbate! Especially to her image/thought. Seriously. Nothing worse that jacking off and then coming (no pun intended) to the realization that you are alone. It will stir loneliness and rejection within you… It makes the breakup more difficult to deal with.
(4) Listen to Disturbed’s song “Voices” to deafen out all thoughts of said woman.
Best of luck, mate.
-Thirst
Make sure your next doesn’t get the chance to see that particular quote in your signature, or you might as well recite Nietzsche out aloud to every girl you meet. On the other hand, do recite some Nietzsche for yourself, at least there is a certain taboo among women that he could lecture you about, according to Kaufmann, whom I regard as a pro-feminenist sell-out.
That’s probably not quite true. arendt is a girl incapable of ignorance. The truth is that she licked on it as long as she planned to, then bailed.
Come on James, let’s give Matthew here some chance, besides, as what is written above, brother 'trop is long gone.
If you check out the way GateControlTheory and Thirst4Metal are having it in for each other, then what the other two are doing is lolipops.
I’m trying to be polite, if the gloves come off then the gloves come off…
A little platonic romance is always needed to get the ball rolling. One has to manufacture a soft side to win the ladies. Once that is out of the way- one can begin training them. Arendt was already three-quarters there…I wouldn’t need a whip.
But you missed the moral import, SIATD. She has a man…yet she flirts with me endlessly. Switch perspectives and put yourself in his shoes. You gotta girlfriend fucking around on you on the internet- are you happy about that? Surely not. If she bothers me again, she’s gonna make a clean break from her man or take a hike. I don’t play these games…not at the expense of another man’s heart. Read the fine print at the end of my “love letter” in the creative writing forum.
Broken hearts are for assholes. Save your breath and return to the masturbation thread where you belong.
That’s your upper lip, James.
Bring a pair of brass knuckles, sugar-ray. You’re gonna need 'em.
I could take you out with one hand, erm, tied behind my back…
What’s the prob, trop? Haven’t got any governments to be pretending to overthrow this week?
Like I say, your other posts were better…
Matthew, try falling in love with as most women you meet as possible, but in a way that you love neither of them too much. Appreciate women for their beauty and wits, for their elegance and feminity, for their attitude and intelligence. If you feel that there is one who makes you shudder more than others, place her on a pedestal and comfort yourself with the thought that you will never have her, then carry on. In the meanwhile, read Kant and St Augustin. I doubt that this way you will ever be disheartened again…