Why? Simple enough. Yet it holds the past , the present the future. Other species live evolve and go extinct without ever considering why. How about what? How about how? Is when really important? Naaah,. When only counts if you are about to stick your finger in a light socket. Can you get too wrapped up in questions involving why what and when? Sure. Its kind of like riding a roller coaster. If you think about the mechanics, the idea, the emotions, You miss the ride. We here and at other forums dissect life. Are we missing the ride? Some of us yes, others no, others we still have our eyes closed. Should we ever really get to the question ,Who? … Will it really matter? If we actually had the ride, who gives a crud who was responsible or what was responsible or why it happened or how we rode it, or when. Is not the ride ever the point? yepper, it sure in the hell is.
Yep I am buzzed and quite content with this, its been bugging me even sober too. Ride the friggin ride folks. It ain’t much but, its there. This is in honor of those I have loved and are no longer walking this earth, its in honor of those who decide to finally ride the ride. It is in honor of a man who calls me daughter, who is clear across the world and has decided to live and not die, he finally found a reason to live after my mother died, it only took him across the earth to find it and since April to find it. Walk the walk and ride the ride folks. Enjoy even when you think you might be wrong to do so. Fuck it,only mildly though ,because you do have to deal with tomorrow,.
Thanks guys, I had talked to my little sister and earlier in the day I had talked to my Stepdad. My little sister is such a sweetheart but so prudish in a way. It seems like she would have prefered her father stay home and try to deal with ghosts rather than runaway and try to deal with the everpresent ghost of mom. He loves my mother and misses her so much that staying home surrounded by their life would have killed him ,she haunts his thoughts everyday anyway.
For my part I am glad to hear his voice alive and full of laughter finally. He is in a dangerous place but, he has found some happiness there. My sister I fear cannot see that he needed to ride to live.
Thanks folks he does wish he had gone sooner so that he could have shared it with mom. They had planned to retire in the Phillipines. He would have set her up there with an easy life. He honors her by living and continuing. It is so much easier to live in grief and dwell on what was and what should have been. I think its so easy to forget that love does not die. I have come to realize that Mom is only gone in body her spirit can’t leave us unless we fail her love. I did not like the woman but, I so obviously love her. Its time to honor that love and live with out grief. I think I will plant today, she loved flowers and butterflys. I have let my flower gardens die because of grief, that was wrong. I will search out the fairest wildflowers today and tomorrow and the next to reseed my gardens, so that she and I can watch the butterflies be chased by happy cats that she would have loved and did love because they are my kids. Its odd that we stop doing something we enjoy due to the power of emotions. Somehow its like we become traitors to ourselves, or is it a sort of suicide?
I read somewhere that a philosopher is one who lives his life.
I read and loved what you wrote and it came from such a deep place – and am not afraid to say it made me have to hold back the tears. It really was beautiful. Bloody hell, I am a woman after all and according to some have to be emotional. Life created me this way so why fight nature – would be like the sun saying “I am not going to shine today” (poor analogy).
We do get so caught up sometimes with questioning life that we do forget to live it. Is it a gift if it is questioned?
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could all simply throw caution to the wind and not worry about analyzing life – but simply deciding 'YES" to living it – in that moment without a care in the world – how could we possibly control that “care” anyway.
We have been given LIFE yet we put it into a compartmentalized box to always examine it – instead of throwing it into the sky and letting it fly, fly, fly. Living in the moment has become a caution peek around the corner to see what’s there first.
I love to walk in the rain and i love to dance. When I die, in celebration of my life, I would like my children to go dance in the rain and not be sad. To celebrate my life by living their’s in the moment, without question, without hesitation.
Take that ride on the roller coaster and scream, scream, scream – to experience every minute of it. It is to be experienced – YES. So.
Fantastic! Thank you. I have finally started doing my art again and planting flowers. My grief will not be over but I can live, love and not be sad or in pain. My husband and son are so happy to see me creating again. I recieved unexpected hugs and saw tears clouding in their eyes in joy at my living this week. Of course being men they did not do it together they each found me alone and did it. I had no idea that my grief touched their lives. I thought I did not show it, Apparently my neglect over certain things I love doing touched them deeply. I hurt them with my lack of living. So yep lets live , love and dance for those that love us and whom we love. Arcturus, I plan on not having a funeral but a rowdy party to celebrate my life and the lives I love. I have always thought it was better to celebrate than cry. But, I never lost such a close family member before, it was shocking.
I sort of like the way the Irish insist on partying with the deceased… Not sure thats allowed here in the states though… Does beer burn? because, I would like to be cremated with a twelver,What??? I ain’t gonna be driving on that trip, Do you think a twelver will be enough,maybe a case? Its probably a good thing I like warm beer, I doubt they will stay cold where I might be going. :-"
It will probably rain today, the last of the wildflowers are in full bloom, a small dance may be in order.
Freezing rain is not so good to go out in, massive electrical storms are a bit tricky, but a sweet rain that washes the sweat off your brow is invigorating. Growing up in Tucson the rain was always welcome on a hot summer day. It made playing so much more fun. To watch the lightening dance across the sky and then through the mountains put any firework display to shame. I always smile when the tater wagon falls,sweet memories it brings. Except when I am out in the storm, then I run
I had no idea that my grief touched their lives. I thought I did not show it, Apparently my neglect over certain things I love doing touched them deeply. I hurt them with my lack of living. So yep lets live , love and dance for those that love us and whom we love. Arcturus, I plan on not having a funeral but a rowdy party to celebrate my life and the lives I love. I have always thought it was better to celebrate than cry. But, I never lost such a close family member before, it was shocking.