Instinct to preserve the self - is the cause of war. Few are strong enough to go against their own nature. And give nature the bird. Because nature is evil, doesn’t mean we have to be. I used to fear death like nothing else until I attepted suicide in a blind fashion (percieving/knowing that what I ingested would kill me…) but it didn’t! So it was a real test of my fear and I shattered the fear barrier, I was free from the bondage of the autonomic processes designed to protect the organism that exist within all organisms, it was probably one of the most important events in my life when I think about it.
No other experience has given me such clarity and insight into human nature as that one event has. I also learned that most people are a mix of self-controlled awareness, and total robotic autonomic control beyond their conscious awareness. It is even mixed in with their personality and thinking patterns, it’s like having a 2nd self who you can’t easily control or grasp existing within you. Not to mention it takes a lot of friggin time and meditation to personally experience it, to understand what I am saying (i.e. truly grasp it from experience which cannot be converted to words, because of the sensations and internal understanding involved that cannot be communicated via language).
