Is understanding, just a feeling?

Perhaps the question is not “why” consciousness is, but “why” consciousness is.

Is understanding, just a feeling? For example, modern science is like sonar poking holes in the tub, or like a blind man in the cave.
Its like, shining a red flashlight to see the room. You see individual objects in the room, but you don’t really understand the room.
Only when the lights on do you understand.

So maybe understanding is just a feeling, tempora, of a high amount of information being understood at one moment? Sequentially, it looses its satisfactioon, like a red flashlight only showing little things in the room, forgetting them as soon as you saw them.

As I think about my conciousness, I wonder why it is, but more so why. It is bizzarre. I am stuck in this body for no reason. It doesnt make sense. Why I am this flesh brain? I see other brains, and they are just flesh. Why I am I stuck inside this particular brain? Why does my pain feel real? It is just a flesh brain, nonsense. Why I am I part of this flesh brain? I am trapped inside of it. It is absurd. A flesh brain is nothing. Yet I am inside of this. A flesh brain has no feelings, it is just flesh. Yet, I have feelings. What I see is not what my flesh brain sees, yet what my flesh brain sees. I am outside of my flesh brain, yet inside of it. Flesh is just nerves and neurons, no feelings, it doesnt look like feelings. Yet, somehow these all come together, and create something magical, which they are not. They create something which is not in this dimension, me. How can this be? I am not this brain. This brain doesnt even look like me. I see things yet there is no reason for me to see things. Consciousnes is not an illusion, and it shouldnt even exist. The nuerons are not consciousness. Consciouness is a bizarre property that is magical.

Perhaps the question is not “why” consciousness is, but “why” “what” and “how” consciousness is.