Two birds, one stone.
Whose Coming with me?
Those two bastards are waging a war over our souls, and I plan to be half good and half evil, so as to take them out of contention.
How will I achieve this? Well, I don’t know. But can you think of anything better to do??? And dont say watch prime time tv.
Seriously though, if they exist, I will end them.
Are you in or out? I gotta know.
hehe. Sounds interesting but it wont’ work if salvation is the correct path, not works. The bible clearly states that, but maybe you have other religious beliefs about the biblical text.
But they already want to end eachother. What’s the point in YOU getting wrapped up in this also? Why not just stay somewhere safe, and self-improve. 
the bible lost me during the book of genesis. I think jesus was a happening dude. The whole book explains how to act, but it doesn’t explain why, why anything.
and another thing, before I end god, I’m gonna thank him for starting us off no such recorded history, written or verbal. That clever bastard. Leave em in the dark, he says. That’ll teach em to appreciate me.
I cant help it. I love the fecking drama of it all
Capture it all on film, and send it to Americans Funniest Home Videos.
Satan:
“I’m gunnu give these Jews a plague.”
God:
“Oh yah, well, I’m gunnu give these Jews TWO plagues.”
Satan:
“I just hit Job in the balls, 50 points.”
God:
“Job stayed faithful, 200 points!”
Satan:
“Job is balled and old, can’t serve you anymore or preach, minus 100 points.”
God:
“I cured Job, 100 points back.”
etc.
vying. You gotta love the word vying.
Lost you in the book of genesis? Lol, you didn’t even read far enough to know what kind of a ‘dude’ Jesus was. But I wont discuss further, this thread seems like a joke anyhow.
kev, are you a member of the Upright Citizens Brigade?
Nope, but that was one of my favorite shows ever.
“you handle my ass pennies”
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You don’t like the story that in the beginning was the word…(mind, or God’s mind)…mind has an effect on matters. An artist for example, needs to form in his mind what he wants to draw on his canvas. Creation IMO is like this. In the beginning was God the infinite source, it has a (+) or (-). Sex was used in the creation, there was attraction and repulsion (elements marry, divorce and remarry) to forms states of matter.
Then the infinite source tested if living things can exist in this environment, from simplicity to complexity.
Then the infinite source wants to have a “child” of his own and God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him. There is a mirroring here. Because infinite source is supernatural, man is also considered supernatural until he wanted to be boss of the earthly world. So he was given an earthly woman.
And because woman was earthly, we now belong to the earth. Some people call this the original sin. I call this man’s separation from God. We can re-ascend to God but we have to follow a very narrow difficult path.
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I think there’s a verbal history, it is called kabalah I think, and the written one the bbile. We cannot end God or the devil they are part of us, the tempter of your ego, your self is constantly tempted by them and trying to decide between the earthly id or the superego conscience.