Alright, you clearly are right.
Touche
BTW, I strongly agree with Kriswest. You should see someone while you’re still relatively OK. That’s the idea of treatment; you go BEFORE the dam breaks. There’s no need to go through hell. I’m taking from experience here.
Something I thought of when readying your op. For me, the Krishnamurti vid sums it up beautifully.
It’s not a personal crisis. It’s not a existential crisis and it’s not a political crisis. These are all symptoms.
At the root, It’s a crisis of consciousness.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXzp_ZQR7Lo[/youtube]
No, I prefer just carrying heavy things over long, brutal distances, and repress my needs for friendship or romantic companionship. And… there is always sitting in the shower in the dark if all else fails.
Each to his own but somewhere down the track you might realize that it’s far more courageous to put the shield and sword away and take off the armour cage around your heart. You WILL be hurt; that’s inevitable and that’s why it takes courage but you know all that…
Big virtual hug, man. Take care.
Yes Contra, go to therapy and treatment drowning yourself in pills.
Eat them like candy.
Or, I can just take Chakras path, and use music… by playing sad songs on infinite repeat… as I fall asleep.
m.youtube.com/watch?v=0mq-fYPU5Ow
m.youtube.com/watch?v=r0Utkr8LSdc
m.youtube.com/watch?v=RyB1PaA2ImA
But you’re not in the Army anymore (if it was in the Army) and you’re certainly not a camel. You weren’t meant to carry heavy things for long distances at least not continuously. You don’t have to prove your strength - you are strong, both there and there too. I know this. Anyway, what happened to Contra-Nietzsche? You’re acting like a Nietzsche right now, aren’t you? You decide to become “rain” and what happens to you? Can rain rain down upon itself and still be rain? I ask you - can it?
You don’t have to repress your need for friendship and romantic companionship. All that will do is make those needs sprout up in other places. lol. Repression and suppression are very unhealthy for you. How does one repress their need for friendship and romantic companionship being that they are already aware that they need it? And don’t worry, this is not me telling you to go find yourself a woman. I know how you detest that in me, I know your agony when I do it.
I’ve done this at times when the world seemed to become too much for me. There is nothing at all wrong with it. After all, I love the rain, I love the water and I love the darkness at times like this. I suppose it’s like putting ourselves within some kind of a coccoon. We can sense ourselves more in the darkness and the shower cleanses us in more ways than one. And you can have a good cry, Rain. We don’t force the tears. We just know they’re on the way and we allow them to come. We’ve been holding them back, denying them, afraid of them and how they’ll make us feel? But we can’t hold back the deluge. What, men aren’t supposed to cry? Only women can have the monopoly on that? Be true to yourself and cry all you want to - until there are no more tears to be had - at least for those moments. That’s what I do. It isn’t self-pity…well, perhaps at times it may be a bit. But so what?! If we can have compassion and concern for others, why not ourselves? As you release your tears, Rain, all of those nasty toxins, which aren’t your friends, will wash away. Simply imagine them going down the drain.
I don’t think that real nobility causes us to harm ourselves in order to remain loving and compassionate and honest and strong. Would you want to cause someone great harm in order to strengthen them in the first place? I know what seeing and dwelling on man’s inhumanity to man can do to us. I’ve taken that trip often enough and it serves no purpose in and of itself. You can only carry that burden for so long and it does nothing for humanity in the first place. And remember you are part of that humanity, Rain. And personally, I think that you are a beautiful part of that humanity…flawed, yes, but still beautiful. So take good care of yourself.
And for crying out loud, stop dwelling on that stupid garlic in your shoe. Take beautiful pictures.
Carl Jung said that without wishing it, we human beings are placed in situations in which the great “principles” entangle us in something, and God (or the Universe) leaves it to us to find a way out. But meanwhile, you can take your shower and have a good cry and take beautiful pictures.
People in this country don’t stop to think of something like that. We complain about this and that, the most stupid things. We take our freedom for granted, even such as some think it is. Not until 9/11 unfortunately did we begin maybe to have some understanding, some enlightenment of what goes on in other countries, what women, children and men have to deal with - everyday, every second of their lives. I wonder though if we ever take the time, take a moment, to “be” in solidarity wth them, with those who deal with life and death each day…not necessarily praying but just “being” with them.
Still, despite that we are free, not perfectly, but maintain freedom, we can’t live in that kind of awareness of how others live and be more grateful. We gripe about being banned on ilp when children are being shot in the streets or seeing that happen every day of their life in parts of the world. It does also happen here, people being shot in the streets, children being shot in the streets and yet all we see is that we can’t afford that new car or house or phone. We’re afraid to realize how easy it is for our lives to change so drastically so we need to hold onto things.
Arc, sometimes it’s harder to fathom the spiritual murder of millions , then it is to see the death by bomb of civilians. It is more dishonest. Civilization is heading toward a major re-alignment, no doubt, those who see, will not be left behind. The redeemer is coming, again. No doubt about it, if You were to ask me to prove this, i could only point to my record of prophecy, of which i am in no way of a boastful disposition, and it is not a gift so rare,
But i can tell You, science needs to come up with a miracle of the major type, to take up a sadly lagging slack. (That that coming redeemer to be real or virtual, need not be a matter of concern, we have passed that point of no return, where such a differentiation is necessary, or even possible.)
We need nothing less, than a major, publicly disclosed miracle. The kind which takes one’s breath away from the reality show this life has become.
He’s chosen the name rain because he’s becoming a sad cynical pessimist where rain clouds follow him everywhere. Somebody get this man an umbrella for fuck’s sake.
That was very sincere and open, Rain.
I feel like you’ve given us a key to another part of yourself.
Thank you for sharing.
It seems to me the tormented heart is within you, it is yours.
That to be alone with your heart/thoughts, is what eats away at you. A powerful force within you, that you struggle to release.
Perhaps going far away, will distract you from yourself.
Do you regret going to war?
War has existed long before. And war continues without you.
Do you believe it was stupidity and ignorance that led you to war?
The young rely on others to guide them. If they are at war, it is due to guidance or lack thereof.
How else can one learn, if not to sincerely reflect on the past?
Why does their death sting you?
====
I’ve been going to therapy for years, and haven’t swallowed a single pill.
Any time a doctor suggested it, I declined.
My therapist has never suggested them. (She knows how adamant I am against them)
Therapists and therapy is pointless. They’re going to do nothing in changing your life situation.
Moreover none of them are honest enough to tell you the truth about this world.
They’re all a bunch of sychophant statists otherwise known as good cocksuckers.
Toots, just wait til this nation completely collapses and we will see what exactly you have to say then.
Ferguson Missouri is a sneak preview of what is to come nation wide.
You authority worshipers are in store for one Hell of a wake up call.
Laughs
I often struggle to make sense of my thoughts and feelings.
Therapy gives me another perspective and different insights.
I’ve changed my own life situation, with clarity of mind, reached in part due to therapy.
I don’t expect my psychologist to have all the answers, but simply to give honest feedback. She does that, so I am satisfied.
If you went to one, you’d probably want one that was no bullshit. One that wouldn’t hold back at the expense of your feelings - that would continually challenge and confront you, call you out on any errors of judgement.
There are psychologists like that.
Just gotta find the right one 
Why not use yourself also.
Write the things running through your head or record them. Then later dissect them.
I never know where to start.
It’s easier to respond to others, than it is to talk to myself.
However, as I respond to others, I’m generally just talking to myself publicly.
As I am now…
Were you speaking to me there? I can’t assume ~~ though they were my words in quotes.
I do not worship authority. You know me very little.
But I do have a healthy respect for laws which are reasonable, logical and compassionate.