[size=75]I feel a lack, no click for my clack
A tickless tock, a handless clock
No purpose
I thought far and wide
till my tears all dried
and empathy died
inside
On the wrong track, balloon gone slack
tongue dumb, prick finger numb
No feeling
I feel a lack, give it back, give it back.[/size]
#2
I feel a lack, no click for my clack
a tickless tock, a handless clock
all purpose stolen, torn away, everything a seamless grey
thought flung far, tears all fled, compassion leeched, the empath dead
On the wrong track, a balloon gone slack
a toothless cog, a barkless dog
compass spinning, no direction, divinity sans ressurection
an empty sack, I feel a lack, give it back, give it back.
Yes, perhaps a certain lack of polish suits the subject. Hard though to judge when to stop. Rainey, Chimney, Butterfly - are all your poems done in one…? I usually just open a “new topic” window and just type the first things that come into my head - a title seems enough to generate the poem and I always think my first verses or even just the first couplets are the best and the rest of the poem seems to hang off them like flab.
I am still relatively new to poetry, so mine are few and far between–usually they are written when something moves me so much that I can’t stop thinking about it. I look forward to becoming accomplished enough that I can write frequently like you guys do. I like that you work from the title, some writers overlook the title as a trivial adornment which I think is a mistake.
Funny, I choose the title as the very last thing. Half the time I have no idea what the poem’s about until I’m about half way through it. I normally start out writing some kind of stream-of-consciousness thing and then an idea will hit me. In a sense, my poetry therefore often reflects what’s going on in my subconscious. I think I made the comment to ChimneySweep that rather than the poem reflecting something I’ve learned somewhere, I learn about myself from the poem.
Naturally, once I’ve hit upon the idea, a lot of what I’ve already written doesn’t serve it well and I’ll scrap it and start over with the new-found theme. There are always a couple drafts before I post. I agonize over word choice, probably more than I should.
