Larry Summers writes a letter to Obama.

Dear Mr. President,

I am afraid I must reject the possible appointment as the new Federal Reserve chairman to replace the position of Ben Bernanke.

I just really don’t want to be the person behind the curtain when the entire United States economy collapses and shits the crapper. I don’t think anybody but a complete idiot or moron wants that position after Ben Bernanke. Have you seen Ben lately? He’s growing grey hairs everywhere. The job is really taking its toll on him money laundering all those printed counterfeit dollars. Heard you are considering Janet Yellen as a possible appointee. I know things are desperate,but did you really think I was going to be the stool pigeon when the entire bag is dropped? C’mon Barry, I thought you knew me better than that. I am smarter than that. By the way, she will make a excellent stool pigeon. I give you props for having her on your list of useful idiots. I would also suggest Paul Krugman for that list also. Oops…, did I just write all of that? I meant to say that I don’t think having myself as the chairman of this glorious United States economic recovery is the right job for me because I am under qualified for such a great task. Yes, that’s what I meant to say. I hope you and I can still be close friends. We should really go out golfing together in Hawaii as that is what I’ve heard you like to do in your spare time Barry. Stop by one of many different houses. Call me for directions.

From yours truly,

Larry Summers.