The place I live,
is a place where often times,
(as someone once sang of it),
the sun keeps shining
through the pouring rain.
A beautiful natural phenomenon.
Time and life run by,
and I think of this, today,
as I discover
the most beautiful pain
a father can feel.
For his wings are now free.
It is time,
and they must be that.
He must fly, I know,
as all sons must,
unburdened by rains,
unburdened by me,
beyond where I have taken him.
For I can carry him no further.
I hold him now,
and kiss the cheek I’d kissed
a million times before,
and fight every instinct,
as all fathers must,
and let him go,
and watch my
little boy
fly
away.
As I recede,
a young man looks back,
with a broad grin, and waves goodbye.
I am careful,
and I am determined.
I show him only my proud smile –
the sun,
shining,
through the pouring rain.
Yes, a bit aching I’m afraid. Never have I been struck by such mixed feelings. The long view tells me that my son and I are both at the cusp of new stages in our lives, and a new stage in our relationship as well. I imagine this to be a very good thing. As they say, one door closes and blah, blah, blah…
As for the King, that poem was about a member (Dunamis) who I felt (and still feel) was wrongly banned from here. Not really sure what he’s up to these days. Somewhere enriching some other forum with his intellect and ideas I would imagine.
As for me, I lurk about here from time to time. Too much great poetry here to really leave.
I agree that ILP was diminished the day Dunamis was banned. It is too bad that he couldn’t continue to suffer one more fool. I could never have engaged the man in a conversation about other peoples ideas, but I did enjoy reading the skewering.
My mother is half way through her 91st year. The nature of life being what it is, when she leaves home she won’t be returning. I am not looking forward to that change in our relationship.
why conceal your true feelings from a person so dear? why construct a tough facade? why spend a moment of one’s short life pretending for matters so important?
Because my true feelings are mixed. It’s extremely gratifying to see my son grow and I am filled with pride. But there is pain as well. Ever had a child go off to college in a city far away? My son knows how I feel about him (as much as he can imagine, not having a child himself). What he doesn’t need to know is the pain. Nor can he really know. He doesn’t need me to unduly share that with him or feel in any way obliged to share in that burden. That’s a parent’s burden. This is not a time for him to be burdened. This is a time for him to fly.
Well said Rainey. I feel a similar responsibility toward my mother. Preparing to ‘leave’ is difficult enough without me conveying to her the grief her death will cause. It is my responsibility to ensure the event is as free of trauma as it is possible to be. I will shed my tears in my garden where they will help the flowers grow.
