In the case of your falling in love on these two occasions, yes, it was simply mindless chemicals. I think for true love to grow and to last (even if the relationship doesnât last), there has to be the mind at work too - otherwise it is simply about feeling good.
You as much as said that it wasnât even necessarily about the other person - so, you could have received the same effect by doing anything that gave you an instant thrill, even it lasted a bit longer than an instant.
True love does involve another person unless itâs about truly loving yourself in the right way but that involves process and growth which wasnât part of this equation.
The reason you wouldnât have missed the experience is because it felt ah so good to you. But I have to ask you - was it truly liberating to you?
People often hide more than they reveal when talking, especially if itâs the first time weâve met them, and donât know them. I donât think itâs so easy to hide things from a touch of the hand though.
Itâs like the warmth of a fire. And not letting it go out requires commitment, knowledge, quality wood, etc. Donât stoke the fire too much, donât neglect it⌠all that jazz.
Attention and balance, too, eh anon? And letâs not forget, if the fire senses that it is not being enjoyed and appreciated, it will rebel and go out.
And Atthet is right, great analogy.
Sometimes, it achieves relief when youâre writing with someone else who cares, but the physical touch of the moment is vital for real satisfaction. Emotions are physical after all.
Falling madly in love is something Iâve only done a few times, and the touch of the matter is a second layer on top of sight. Smell and sound provide layers too; Iâve never felt another layer from taste. You feel like youâre in another world and everything changes. Itâs very difficult to describe beyond that, but it can be said that you really hope it never ends. If it does end, you feel totally crushed.
Some people even use falling madly in love as an excuse to do bad things just to preserve their worlds, and some people appeal to othersâ madness as an excuse for victimizing third parties. Romance dramas bear an entirely different perspective when you get this. You realize that villains being counseled by favorites are enamored.
âŚI donât know if thatâs what she means by touch. People also enjoy holding hands and petting each other. Intimacy involves contact, but merely âmaking loveâ doesnât make you fall in love. You have to do it right with rhythm, smoothness, and intensity. Some couples make love regularly just to relieve frustration. That doesnât give the same impression.
I mean yea, you can go wild and appreciate someone else letting you goof around, but you donât fall in love that way. You might cling onto someone that way from being dependent, but it doesnât give you that sublime transformation of the world.
I paraphrased sex, because it is the most intimate type of touching. There are of course many other forms of touching, such as holding hands with your lover. Because you just love her so much and want to be around her all the time, and she feels the exact same way about you.
Intimacy comes from having chemistry which can arrive from any moment. Many people actually go downhill from foreplay to making love. A lot of people are actually scared of this while flirting - is this the best a flirter has the best to offer?
You take a chance, and sometimes, it doesnât pay off in bed.
No. This rarely if ever happens.
Love feels different for different partners at the same time. A lot of lovers screw this up. They believe the way theyâre experiencing things is the same way their lover is experiencing things. Just because someone has a good time doesnât mean another does too.
Likewise, just because someone feels rotten doesnât mean another does too. Some lovers donât give themselves enough credit.
Even when love feels good or bad at the same time, it feels good or bad in different ways. Only naive lovers donât believe in submission and dominance. When youâre making love, itâs always a give and a take. Giving does not feel the same as taking.
It sounds like youâre unsatisfied. Some men can satisfy women physically, mentally, and emotionally, but very rare is this type of course.
Have you ever been in a relationship where a man and woman just canât get enough of each other, and do everything together, almost never leave each otherâs company or sight, almost always within armâs distance, for months, and for years? Have you ever experienced complete infatuation, like, your brain is utterly possessed?
Itâs really not. The problem is many lack self-respect and confidence to passionately express themselves.
Iâve been subliminally impressed, but what youâre describing sounds like a commercial or fantasy romance novel. Someone being on your mind all the time doesnât mean youâre clingy. Part of falling in love entails sustainability. You realize itâs real, and you focus on keeping it real.
Whatâs the matter? You donât know what Iâm talking about?
Thatâs not necessarily true. Human intimacy can and does transcend the sexual part/sex.
I think what defines 'intimacy" is its motivation and essence and trust.
Rape is sexual but of course more so about control, but where is the intimacy involved there?
Sex itself is a physical conquering, but not the same as emotionally and mentally conquering a woman.
Males who physically conquer a woman, but not emotionally and mentally, are accused of rape. Males who do not seduce women, are rapists. Women demand seduction, before saying âyesâ to sex, or a relationship. Her emotions must become appealed to. This is a demand by women for protection. Women donât want to have sex with men who, ultimately, will not protect them or their children.
Intimacy, then, correlates with seduction.
For example Arcturus Descending, maybe weâre physically attracted to each other. We smell each other, and the scent smells good, invigorating. But a female, you demand more than just physical chemistry. You demand that I tell you that I love you, that Iâm going to stay with you forever, protect you, maybe even die for you. You demand that I present myself as a friend and guardian. We date, I buy you things. I show you a good time, have fun. You see that I am powerful and socially affluent. You experience that I am mentally strong, not just physically strong. Then, we dance together, sing together. We live together and play together. This is the emotional strength, the emotional side, bonding.
There is a difference between the purely physical and the purely mental. Emotions are everything in between.
Mentality is the height of existence.
Emotion is the middle of existence.
Physicality is the floor of existence.
One thing I never got about creeps is why theyâre so ascetic.
Donât be afraid of your physique, and especially donât claim you can substitute your mind for it. Intimacy is about happiness, not some transcendental magic act. A partnerâs mind is valuable because it sustains intimacy over time. Thatâs it. There is no higher purpose of what happens in bed or the bathtub or on the beach. Yea, itâs awesome when things are smooth, but itâs not like you have some psychic link. You just show you care because you tease every sweetspot over time, and you crank up the intensity when your partnerâs ready.
Donât get overprotective either. That makes you look desperate and clingy. Just play games and let things melt together over time. Rushing things makes you look pathetic like you donât know how to enjoy every detail or nuance. Youâre just rushing to climax and trying to take advantage of the situation to achieve short term relief instead of long term happiness.
Donât do the children thing either. Youâre stating the obvious and preventing your partner from getting lost in the moment.
In the case of your falling in love on these two occasions, yes, it was simply mindless chemicals. I think for true love to grow and to last (even if the relationship doesnât last), there has to be the mind at work too - otherwise it is simply about feeling good.