This is an official ILP contest to read this sentence in the accent of Bear Grylls (the “Wild” in “Man vs Wild”).
“A banana is packed full of vitamins, but on a glacier it is very slippy.”
May the Bear Be with You
@MagsJ …not strong enough?
Your accent, of course.
@futureone please and thank you!
VITamins, GLASSier. Next.
BriBri, are you making fun of how I thought I was Bon Jovi last night, singing-adjacent along with “Livin on a Prayer” on my way to work, or is your utter failure to follow directions your way of demonstrating sovereignty-without-free-will?
I bet if your next audio follows the directions, and throws in an apology to Mom with a demonstration of walking her cat’s shit out to the garbage, you could possibly unlock a better singing voice.
just a hunch
I have a magnificent rant on audio I might could upload and add to my evidence box (for celestial court when I finally face the divine jury).
So we were reflecting on the absurdity of a guy getting out of prison (for crimes he didn’t commit) and immediately getting beat by two shysters on Craigslist… one of which sold him a truck that now needs a $3,600 repair (my first quote)… and then being unable to afford the repair for reasons:
A. Has no credit due to being unable to establish it in prison or prior to and therefore no credit cards.
B. Is unable to work to his full capacity because of interference from the consequences of the wrongful charges; background checks, neighborhood watches, employers finding out (if i worked by the hour… something I haven’t done in five years and never will again).
C. Has no family or friends to borrow from for reasons:
Ca. Has no friends and family member(s) is a imbecile that’s broke and secretly believes he’s a pedophile.
Cb. Has no friends and was dropped from the will of a parent he hasn’t had contact with in 19 years (as a consequence of charges).
… and the dumb bitch did exactly that thing you hate the most: dared to say you HAVE IT BETTER than her. It demonstrates not only a lack of perspective but a sickening vanity. How could you possibly believe that you have it worse than a guy like me, financially, after being given around $200,000 barely fifteen years ago? Only if there were some kind of automatic mechanism that caused her to think all this mess is my fault, that I’m a pedophile, a narcissist, etc., preventing her from having sympathy, could this be possible. The only other alternative is to be an absolute dipshit and deadbeat moms to think a comparison is even possible.
This is some of the existential alienation we sociopaths experience on our way to cray. The sociopath’s level of refinement is owed entirely to his intellect and being able to ‘spot’ rich ironies and absurdities that the less perceptive are able to experience. Sociopathology is really only a deep philosophical ‘feel’ for traumatic events, whether immediate or in a series and drawn out. The best ones are the collectors of great wrongs (Bonin and how the nuns punished him in the foster home, for instance) who also have the intelligence to draw proper conclusions from such experiences, i.e., nihilism, atheism, etc.
Now, just about anyone can try to imagine the what-it-is-likeness vicariously and abstractly… they can think “gosh that had to suck what they did to bro-bro”… but they can’t experience the perspective of someone who has drawn from such experiences conclusions that betray their own. They can’t imagine even vicariously what it is like to feel murderous rage. Maybe the things that got the dude there (vicariously)… but not the pathology itself.
It’s all luck, mates. Causal but not some predetermined prank set in motion by an incompetent and/or ssdistic god. I don’t trooly believe that although i do entertain the notion of a god once in a while to demonstrate some absurdity or logical contradiction. Sometimes, a train of events can be set in motion by a peculiar situation that isn’t produced enough for anyone to take notice or pay any attention to. Which is to say, a single instance of big bad luck can create higher probabilities for there being other kinds of real bad luck. The sociopath collects these, you could say… and the stronger the frequency of bad luck hits, the more distinguished the sociopath becomes in hees rize to powar!
Now i claim far more people could have become sociopathz if they had the intelligence and insight to draw the proper conclusions from the experiences they had even though they would be trivial and of little consequence. Of course, big betrayal (from the State, the family, civil court, the health industry, employers, etc) is always the most direct path to being a socio but the little stuff will do as well… you just gotta pay attention. If you do, you can become a soft-sociopath… a variety of pathology available to the normie that wasn’t beaten by nuns or wrongfully imprisoned or left in a POW camp or something. These sociopaths do little sociopathic things like lie and cheat and stuff like that. No murder or manifestos for these guys.
And it’s very likely that the unassuming chump you turned out to be in life is a consequence of you not paying attention and starting down your own socio path when you should have. Now you’re just a buffoon stuck in a job or some old retired alcoholic who’s read a lot of books.
It really is easy. So easy that it’s not even worthy of ancient chinese manuscripts. Easier even than the Tao or Heraclitus. Fuck off. That’s the philosopher’s stone, the wizdomz, the final labor. Eternally, too. Wherever you find yourself… there, the effects of incompetent and/or nefarious forces are working against you. The final step is from what was once the nihilistic surrender to this nonsenss to what becomes an affirmative egoism that wills nihilism, that becomes its master and gives it creative direction. The rest are just riding on the boat, whichever direction it may take them. Become the master of the madness that has been bestowed upon you, sociopathz!
You enjoy the sound of your ranting voice. She is a captive audience.
Let me tell you that if I was there, you would not like how that ended.
That’s why you don’t post the Vocaroo.
Go pick on someone your own size, big guy.
Well, the incomprehension is two part. First, she’s a negative, sickly, and unambitious animal who can’t have empathy for someone who is creative, virile, ambitious, and full of energy. Being a wrongfully convicted felon serving a lifetime sentence on an empirically verifiably ineffective SOR who not only ends up getting shysted when he buys a work truck when fresh out of prison but ends up also getting a fraction of the work that should be avaliable to him because of his scarlet letter… and so ends up not being able to afford the major repair… does not, nay, can not strike her as incomparably worse than anything she’s ever had to experience or will ever.
But its worse.
In many, if not most cases, a parent or immediate family member is the one a person goes to for assistance with this kind of day-to-day crap. In my case, however, i do not… but look at the reasons why i don’t:
One parent has vanished, and the other is an incompetent moron who can’t set the time on an alarm clock and is barely getting by after being given nearly two hundred grand less than fifteen years ago. Both think I’m a pedo.
So the special irony here is that the empty piece of shit not only could have been able to help someone who would certainly come to deserve it if she wasn’t an imbecile shyster who blew everything given to her for free… but she also finds it incomprehensible that i should feel even the slightest alarm at my situation. That i should be content locked in a house all day for years on end. That i should feel like i deserve what I’m in because somebody saw my ding-a-ling sixteen years ago.
Simply, one CAN’T believe that without being an imbecile… no matter how you slice it. The SORNA is one… if not THE… greatest example of government tyranny to ever have existed in civilization. One of the strangest, most restrictive, most intrusive penalties ever imposed on a citizen by the State. Nothing like it has ever existed before.
Hey kiddo you oughta worry less about one miserable cat lady and more about your fuckin government. You wanna cry about a cat lady go find a story in Reader’s Digest. I’m on some Plato’s Republic level shit.
Socrates was rather a bad ass, and his wife was, too. They’d both put you to shame, snip snap.
One could only say life was objectively good at the exclusion of its worst examples. That’s how the nihilist gets you. Everything a goody two shoes believes falls on that point. What to do, then.
Invent another world so we can say the great sufferers have been given the opportunity to be rewarded and compensated for their suffering if only they believe x. Doing this allows the goody two shoes to ignore or overlook the brief earthly inequality between himself and the great sufferer. The offering of redemption by the benign christian is a disguised effort to ignore how unequal we are and how unequally we are treated by god.
As I’ve said the depths of christian psychosis run very deep, and there are secret turns and alleyways everywhere.
So a goody two-shoes never suffers. Got it. I’ll try and remember that one while excluding those “worst examples” I can’t even imagine because I live such a sheltered life from your rantings and ravings at your mother.
Everyone suffers sufficient absurdity to foster an intellectual understanding and acceptance of nihilism. Whether or not there is an intellect there TO foster is another story.
So you can have your lazyboy nihilists - those who haven’t been attacked by a great white shark after losing a child to a sex trafficking ring after learning that they have cancer after the bank foreclosed on their house - but are clever enough to connect the dots with what trivial suffering and absurdity they have endured.
Then you have the generals, and these are the guys who have been through so much malarky that they’ve been granted cosmic immunity from the gods. The real nihilists… the ones with the real fucked up luck. A goody two shoes can never advance to this level.
Please help me. I believe i may be zee antichrist. The 2007 incident with the sexy beasts in the parking lot symbolized the innocent rapture before eros and the expression of pure shameless love… the primordial state of man before the fall and the figleaf bit. Now Satan’s situ was the same, except his shamelessness was before his own erotic beauty and luminescence.
In both our cases, a big much to do about nothing was made out of something that, ironically, was not an intended crime… not with criminal intent… and had hardly any consequence at all. Rather, it expresses the incompetence of the designer and the audacity to persecute the good-willed, the honest, the proud, and the sexy.
Thus, like Satan i too revolt against all forms of law ordained by god. Not because we have nothing better to do but because there are ‘principalities involved’, as Big Worm once put it.
If going on and on, and on, like a doofus, was the feat of strength, you definitely won.
It’s not, though.
Next.
My most recent exchange with one of my stalkers. This one from captain craigslist again… the gay one that keeps posting gay ads.
First, he/she posted an obvious hoax: super hot chick looking for a date on craigslist… which never happens. Emailed em and called em out. Ad disappeared. Then they do this one:
"Everyday it gets a little harder. Deep down I want a man to take me from behind. I want to be a good Husband, but I can’t stop thinking of being had, being bad.
I want to be had so bad, it’s getting harder…"
Aren’t you dying to know which fuckwit it is? Gotta be one I’ve beaten up over the years or one that’s got no beef and is just creepy gay as fuck with an infatuation for me. One or the other. I’ve narrowed it down to four or five suspects. Those that i suspect hate me enough to have reason to stalk me.
Question is, what will come of it? Now it’d be cool if i wasn’t impervious to fuckwits and didn’t know what was going on. In that case i might be effected by it somehow, I dunno. But i wonder if i can fuck with em back and get em to kill themselves? Like what are the magic wordz that would cut to the bone and get this person to OD on something or maybe use the ceiling fan (if they aren’t terribly fat)? Most everyone is a secret toad who only needs to be convinced of it. Damn. What i need is personal info that i can work with. Calling someone a useless fuckoff is hardly enough to cause a suicide.
You don’t have to reply to this, you know. But if you really wanted to, you could record yourself saying,
I guarantee you it would be 1000 times more productive than your current replies, and fun.
Lol i gotta have my car at the shop at 8:00, and the cat lady won’t follow me up there so i can drop the car off. It’s literally four minutes up the road. She says “you know i have trouble driving, yada yada.”
But get this.
She has an eye doctor appointment at 11 at a place that is further away than the shop, and she will be driving there.
When you’re so burnt out that you don’t realize your excuses for being a selfish piece of shit don’t even make sense.
In a way, i envy this cat lady because she is a kind of apex predator mastermind. She got the house for free from her dad, and then she got the free live-in housekeeper nanny son who, fortunately for her, was charged with crimes he didn’t commit, and as a result, would have incredible difficulty finding someone to rent to him.
She played the circumstances perfectly and made out like a bandit. After being given the house for free, she could reverse mortgage it and get another huge sum of money to spend on frivolous shit (lush green fescue grass, for instance). Meanwhile, the son will take care of everything in the free house she got as she sits in the back room and vapes herself to death. Then, when she dies, the son will turn the house he just spent a decade or more managing over to the bank.
And lol… dude at the shop wants to charge $280 to pull the codes on my Acura. I drive around the corner and get em pulled for free at autozone. Little phone sized device you plug into a terminal down by the hood-pop lever. Might take all of 60 seconds. $280 dollars. My god, dude, proof is everywhere. Your world is garbage.
Jeez, i hate to do the economics 101 thing again. Why $280 for roughly 60 seconds of labor? Because you have a third party (the parasite owner) trying to profit from the exchange between the consumer and the laborer (employee mechanic). You got another guy who wants a piece… but this guy isn’t doing anything. He’s just dead weight. A useless eater. But because he owns the shop, he gets a portion of the money paid in exchange for the labor that does the work. How to do that. Artifically inflate the costs. Why is it artificial? Because the fact of the value (and therefore the cost) is determined by the agreement between the buyer and the seller only… in my case, me and the mechanic. What he would agree to do the work for is significantly less than what the owner of the shop would agree to let the work be done for. Ah.
Apply this model to every single thing you buy in the world. You see it now? An economy like a dog infested with ticks.