Paranoia

i don’t know about you guys but i frequently suffer from paranoid delusions which i know are untrue, but which still disturb me sometimes

this is a thread where i would like you to share one or two of those delusions.

ill kick it off with the most frequent one i have.

when i feel my own heartbeat it gets me thinking on what makes it tick. what if my brain thingy fails and my heart just stops?

the nerves now make my heart beat faster…

this is usually brought on by music and the fact that my heart tends to beat to a rhythm. when the beat suddenly stops my heart is quite jolted.

also when i was a baby i appaprently had a “heart murmur” like an irregular heart beat…

so when i feel my heart beat it becomes very unfomfortable because all these things run through my head.

but then i tell myself “that’s stupid… when you die you’ll die, so it wont matter anyway…”

other paranoia trips include : “forgetting to breathe” and “wheres the fucking hidden camera”

I just feel like my phone calls are listened to. My computer activity and tv choices are monitored. Even the books i take out of the library are logged.

Oh, wait the patriot act. Aside from being paranoid, I must be realistic, too.

Nirvana lyric: “Just cuz you’re paranoid, does not mean i’m not after you.”

Apart from the hidden camera, this sounds more like hypochondria than paranoia.

either attribute may a facet of the other… hypochoindria is where you start to believe your delusions and act in extreme ways.

Hypochondria is where anxiety causes you to think you have a life-threatening disease when you don’t.

 thinking of that which brings on stress to the self or heart usually is not helpful to the health of the body or self

so don’t dwell upon these things :smiley:

actually i concluded that in sharing these thoughts it helps show them for what they truly are: paranoid delusions.

I’m always trying to figure out what I am, weird as it may sound. Am I my eyes? Or my head, because that’s where I think from, right? Or my heart, because without my heart how would I function?

Some of my own paranoia also includes forgetting to breathe. And the biggest reason, because it has happened before. I forget what it is called, but I do know it has a certain name. Some time back, I had an anxiety attack which really messed with my breathing. I began to have asthma but my inhaler wouldn’t work. My breathing was very quick and I did not have enough intake. When I finally fell asleep that way, my breathing would slow so much that I would wake up gasping for air, having not breathed for minutes at a time.
This has also happened to me on other days. Except, I would continuously think how relaxing it would be to not breathe at all. And once I would try it, I would forget to breathe. I found it odd myself. And when I would snap out of my little daydream, I would start gasping and people would look at me as if I were crazy.
And so I am not necessarily afraid, but rather worried that this may just result in my death when I am asleep…

Trust me. I think I’ve been trying to figure that one out Far too long.

At first I thought it was in my eyes. That there were cameras in my eyes and people could see all and everything I could see. Or were they even people? Eh. Creepy.
Then I started to get paranoid about windows. I thought someone may have put a camera in my window and was watching me like in the movies. I still keep my blinds closed. I never open them.

Another paranoia of mine which I haven’t been able to overcome for far too many years is the spider in the toilet. Every time I use the toilet, I have to check it thoroughly before I can use it.
I really wish I could just get over myself.
But see it actually happened once to. And that fact that my paranoia actually comes true only freaks me out more. Heh. 8-[

I rip up my written trash so nobody will read it . . . at the dump!

im an aspiring writer… i can share your sense of nervousness, yet i havn’t written much yet.

the hardest thing is choosing a topic. the rest can spill out of me like gravy from roseannes wounded leg.