Please serious advice here please

So… I have this friend… she’s getting older, she’s still single and well on her way to becoming a cat lady. And she is a virgin. She is waiting until marriage. Then she met a guy. This guy is a bit of a catch because he is cute and has a bit of money. Not like a million bucks or anything but you know, he has his finances in a row. Ok so… He is … Not quite as sexually pure as she is, to put it mildly. He is into some kinky stuff and wants her to do it. He also wants to have sex before marriage. He also wants to buy her huge breasts implants.

Ok so at first she was like NOOOOOOO! But then there is the reality. She is not getting any younger. Maybe things aren’t working the way she’s been doing it. She doesn’t want to have cat babies she knits sweaters for.

Ok so she’s thinking of giving in, having sex with him and getting the implants. She might end up being with this guy and marrying him or else who knows, maybe he will change her in such a way that it will help her to get another guy too. Maybe this is what guys want.

Or…should she have integrity and substance and junk, wait for a nice guy that loves and appreciates her as she is, and possibly die a virgin who stayed true to herself?

What do you think?

It sounds to me like this guy is all wrong for her. There are some tell-tale signs already that all is not well with this guy and your friend could be getting in deeper than she wants to get if she stays with him. I really see nothing wrong with sex before marriage and that is just my personal view, however he should also seek to respect her wishes on the matter. At the same time, he wants her to get breast implants and do kinky stuff. It sounds to me like she is having a hard time with the decision because she knows she shouldn’t, she can see that it might get bad and yet her desires and impulses as a living human being might be hard to deny. Nature makes its calls here and there. Realistically the choice is up to her and there is only so much that you can do as a friend without stepping too far into matters that shouldn’t concern you that much.

Certainly, she might like the idea of getting kinky a bit, but it already seems that this guy sees her as a sex object and wants her to fit his version of beauty which is wrong.

My advice would be to think it through and not act too rashly, which it seems she might be doing with natural hesitancy bred by living the life she’s lived thus far. I really don’t think that this man is going to hold up to the lifestyle she’s used to or prepared for and it sounds like she’s a nice girl. The quandary is that she might never find a guy ‘right’ enough for her and I’m sure that thought may have crossed her mind and she might be willing to try a few things simply to live life, yet my advice to that is to be careful and keep her eyes open and not do anything rash. I know it’s a semi-repeat of what I just said, but I don’t care. To put it frankly, there are a lot of people rushing into relationships without knowing what to expect and getting hurt because their partner seems like this or that when they meet and then changes over time. And, someone who is that focused on sex and sexuality to the point of wanting her to get breast implants; no matter how nice they look or how well off they may be; may hurt her far worse than someone who genuinely likes her for who she is.

She sounds like a winner, he sounds like a loser, but that’s just my opinion. Love is the one thing you should never settle for less on in life.

Thank you for your thoughtful post. Yes, she is getting older and does not want to end up stubborn and alone.

Philosophy Girl : i think the answer the above gentleman gave is in the right direction, however Your friend should do a bit of soul searching herself, in addition to seeking advice.
How old is she really? If she is ove thirty, she still has
much room to navigate in, and get out and socialize.

If she is over forty or fifty, then things may appear different to her, n terms ofthe above conditions. She may get more lax in lowering her standard, even in
getting her breasts enhanced, and getting inbolved in mild kink, whatever that may consist of. She probably knows what that would consist of by now, he must have told her.

If that issue is cleared, she may need less reliance on Your, or anyone else’s counsel. The matter of her virginity, may be the result of her religious upbringing, and she may seek advice here from a religious, and she may even seek therapy if such can
not be of assitence her.

Hope this helps.

Hi orb. She is approaching mid thirties and want to hook this one before she hits toooooo old.

Honestly, point in waiting till marriage? I see no point in it really so why waste time with it. “Your soul will be saved if you do not have sex or procreate before marriage! Which was created by us anyways!! ooohhhhhh”

He wants, he wants, he wants. Sounds like a control freak to me. Best she wait til someone better comes along… someone who is willing to allow her to be herself. His type might land up killing her some night. Not married as of yet but still he’s telling her what to do, how to live her life.

She doesn’t have to die a virgin in order to stay true to herself but she can be discerning as to who she copulates lol with. The sex may also allow her to live longer as long as she protects herself.

Tell her I said “carpe diem”. :evilfun:

Best to get rid of him now. Better to be a little alone and lonely til the much better one comes along.

Integrity and substance can actually be liabilities for a single woman.

Pandora…I don’t even know where to begin with that. I will say that it’s important to understand that there’s no such thing as a female player.

There is, but the game difficulty for most females is easy, while it’s hard for most males. Women like Marilyn Monroe play it on easiest mode possible and then brag as if they accomplished something great. Burn your face and get morbidly fat, aka switch the game mode to ultra difficult and then let’s see you play, Marilyn :sunglasses: