Ah you bringer of pure delight
You who are named Beloved Ordinary
Yet you shine out in a lifetime of lights
Oh you possessor of incredible power
I am in everlasting thrall to your beauty
Speak and I am doomed to obey
Only grant me this boon
That I may rest in endless adoration of your splendor
You expand my heart to the reach of agony
And draw me close to deadly joy
Such bliss is no child of this world
My soul almost cannot bare this lightness
I disintegrate and dissolve, losing even my life
Still, let me only come closer
Such unbelievable visions
I am overwhelmingly overcome
Yet you hold no appreciation for my adoration
For you my given attentions are unwarranted
You have no such sense of the beauty, the power that you possess
You are inert and unaffected by your own greatness
My gazes are merely bothersome, or downright unwelcome.
Is this adoration born of love, or is it only born of hunger?
The very manner of my attraction is a source for your embarrassment.
The very aspect which overpowers me is as nothing to you.
In moments I wish you were a bit more demonic
Use me to your ends knowing that you only need give me back that which costs you nothing. Am I blessed to have never met a beautiful devil, so inclined to take advantage of this particular vulnerability? Every earthbound devil is only half and still struggles to do whatever is proper.
You cannot feel your beauty, for the wounds of your heart blind you.
Your eyes are frozen to images of your brokenness and imperfections.
Beauty is no object, no shape, no form,
It is a power,
It is an effect.
You have it even if you cannot feel it, but I wish that you could feel it a bit.
Turn me away only a fraction,
Begrudge my adoration, but never too much.
At least find some amusement in my slavish adulation
Resist the temptation to succumb to sorrow.
Or else recognize that you hold a gate of heaven
Let my worship come to you and pass beyond you, into the invisible world.
Yet more than your permission, I want for you to have understanding.
I wish that I might share the effect of you with you.
Such an impossibility.
Such is the nightmare of the human condition that we might never fully understand our own effect.