Refusing to "go down"

Is it morally acceptable for a man to enter into a relationship with a woman when he has decided, unbeknown to her, that he will never perform cunnilingus? Does a woman in a relationship with a man have a right to demand it from him, even if he never asks for (or gets) fellatio from her?

I think “oral sex” is a strange and unpleasant activity, and that people should be able to neither give nor receive it without worrying about depriving their partner of any “pleasure”.

NO, i think its romatic. Its one of the few things in this world that is unselfish. Your doing it for you “lover”. Your have to make sacrifices to make it work.

So yes, i think its right to demand. Whats so wrong about it? I personally enjoy pleasuring her. So i like it.

Um, well thats a new one. But your preference to not perform an act should be respected by your partner. If it is not then dump them, for that is only the beginning of a painful road.

It is moral to not tell your partner your preferences until the subject arises naturally. I mean unless you trade resumees.

If your partner can’t live with your preferences then that partner is not a real partner. Go find another cuz it will not work in the long run.

woot. I love you girl.

One think dr. luara always says. Dont make it work!
If the water isnt flowing, turn it off. To a certian degree. I mean there are things you can work out. But like you said, thats the beginning of a painfull road for sure. One crack in a window eventually end up to be shatterd one.

I take the point about sacrifices, Thief, but I think expecting a man to “go down” is asking too much, unless like you he’s up for it.

I agree with your comment, Kris, that a relationship that goes onto the rocks because of oral-sex issues is a relationship that should end.

Well it is not just oral sex issues it goes for all parts of a relationship.

If you can’t accept a certain aspect of your partner then walk away. One of the biggest problems with relationships is people think they can change the other and as Desolate points out, that one crack will shatter the window. If a person tries to change for approval that is just as bad, for resentment will build and shatter the relationship.

Either way full acceptance and respect is the only way to build a good relationship and it is the best path to lasting love. You can only end up hurting each other if you do not give these two simple things to each other.

I’m with Dan Savage on this one – every modern model should come with oral sex, standard. Any model that doesn’t come equipped with this feature should be returned to the dealer immediately for a full refund.

No such thing as an unselfish action.

Well, I think oral sex (for a woman) can be both pleasurable physically and psychologically.

You can pleasure her physically without it being all that unpleasant for you–just work with the clitoris.

Psychologically, some females may get a thrill from being literally “dove” into to differing degrees (from hole-pleasing to outright full on tongue thrusting penetration). Not all females require this more messy activity, I suggest you find one of these girls.

Theoretically, most females should be able to get the same pleasure from you simply massaging her clit with a wet finger, but the fact that you are willing to put your head down there can make her feel very sexy and/or increase the intimacy between both of you, which can make it more pleasurable for her. If the area is washed I don’t see how this would be too unpleasant.

Well spotted, hatter.

I’d like to add that women have the upper hand over men in the matter of oral sex, because sucking a penis is a lot less repulsive than what has to be done to the vagina. It’s not a fair deal (hey, maybe this makes up for women having to do all the childbearing).

Actually Chimney, I disagree (you can see my edit in my above post).

When a woman actually gives head she comes in contact with fluids directly (from where they exit).

If you are thinking of what you see in porno (when the man seems to actually act out a kind of “eating out” of the vagina), then yes, that is a bit more messy, but simply massaging a clit with your tongue isn’t repulsive at all (again, assuming it’s clean and fresh down there).

I think most females appreciate a man that knows how to work her sensitive areas, not a buckwild hungry monster. I have talked to quite a few girls who have complained of men who have simply finger-banged them (without working the G spot) as if it would be pleasurable here. The same applies to oral sex. You have to work the right spot.

Something most men don’t realize, a blow job can be painful to the jaws of a woman and so makes it a chore. This can be proven to you guys if you go and suck on an appropriate sized cucumber for as long as you would want a woman to do this to you. Move your jaws in a a motion that women do and create a sucking presure etc… You will soon understand that this can be quite unpleasant for the woman.

Haha yeah good point, I didn’t even think to bring that up. I remember my first girlfriend, who had a bit of a low pain tolerance in all areas, would, fromt ime to time, have to “come up” and allow her jaw some time to relax.

Having, errr, indulged in both snails and clams I, errr, will say that being on the giving end generally involves some discomfort. Eating a woman out is oftentimes work. Sucking a man off is oftentimes work.

But there is a visceral thrill to doing it that really makes the whole deal worth it. Ahhh, to please another. To serve another. Isn’t that what being human is about?

That and, well, you can acquire a taste for it, like coffee.

I’m confused about the “assuming it’s clean” clause, hatter. Surely within minutes of starting, no matter how clean it was, all sorts of new stuff is gonna start appearing on the scene? If it could stay fluid-free throughout, that would be different…

You’ve hit the nail on the head there, Xunz, with the phrase “visceral thrill”. Bad news for the squeamish :frowning:

By clean I mean, assuming she has recently washed herself; assuming when you put your head down there there isn’t a strong (unpleasant) odor.

You think that it’s repulsive, but it’s not.

There’s something about you that thinks that area of the body is disgusting. Many men find the smell of a fairly clean woman to be intoxicating. It could be that there’s something abnormal about you, you have never had sex and are just imagining that it’s gross, or the girls that you have know have some kind of chemistry problems.

Look into it.

Yeah. I love the smell and taste of a woman.

I would suspect that something is wrong somewhere if you don’t.

I’ve noticed that certain ethnic groups have smells that I don’t care for, and I wonder if this is due to diet or some more biological reason.

Some guys should never watch their child being born by the love of their life. That affected us for about 6 months. For some reason being intimate and having any sort of intercourse besides the occasional missionary became difficult for my husband. It took alot of talking to understand the change in him. The basic was he was having a hard time seeing my body as sexual after seeing his beloved son come forth. I did not gain any weight. I went straight back to a size 4/5 so no it was not that guys. He just could not bring himself to see my body as sexual, sexy yes but hard to touch because I gave birth and he witnessed the whole thing, my pain, all the blood, the mess the baby coming out etc… He really could not put it in to accurate words what or why.
Has this ever been heard of before?

I’ve already gone on record as saying that I’m squeamish, but I think there’s substance in what I’m saying about “down there”. I’m a normal heterosexual male, but I don’t like that particular region (which is something of a shame!) I’ve heard from other people that it smells like fish, plus it’s literally mm’s away from the anus…

Did I mention that I can’t be doing with lip-to-lip kissing either? lol, maybe it is me!