The human sport makes use of tongues
Twisting with delicacy, the dance is evaporating and sleeps all night.
Dawn corridor of lightening riddles the floor
but feet can only walk and if not,
they are running.
Skin is shared identification.
Skin is common ground for one, the means.
Expanses inside reflect infinitesimally, but
Monads do not touch, they are mirrors
cognizant of reflecting,
but the image is but
a part, a whole in its mereology.
Relational paranoiac paradox
layered like the degrees separating day from day
Each looks much the same, but the molecules are changing.
Death is collective in consciousness when
Death repeats singularity, it sings
do you believe simplicity to be a bad thing, or is it that what i’m saying isn’t important? or is it that my content is uninteresting? been said too many times before?
i think simplicity can be great, especially in poetry. through simplicity the particular (individual) can connect with the universal.
I found it to be extremely complicated. I like the middle stanza because it describes solipsism in a powerful, elegant way. The other stanzas confuse me…not sure how to read them. What comes across is that you don’t merely know what solipsism means, you know what it feels like and you survived to tell about it.
I don’t think the simplicity to be a wholly bad thing in this case, I think your word choice was dead on… it just had a ring of ‘explaining the metaphor’ when I read it.
Though now that I think about it, I like this because in true artistic fashion, you juxtaposed what comes across as a simple, yet harmonious perceived thought or definition with of course the true definition of the word (solipsism) itself, which would seem to negate you even writing this poem, let alone one that one that flows in this matter of fact way.
It’s like your talking to the reader: elegantly, explanatory. But all the while they feel like they are listening into your self conscious, instead of your talking to them directly.
Sorry for the original short comment… I don’t know what I was doing there.
