I was thinking about spirituality, rather than religion, and the notion of relationships.
I was thinking what is the definition of “friend”?
Why do I consider some people my friends and not others?
Why do I consider an animated corpse a friend and a non-animated corpse as not a friend?
Can I consider a mouse to be my friend?
Why can I not consider a rock to be a friend?
Why can I not consider the universe to be a friend?
How could we define what a friend is?
Friend == helpful
Not sure about that as we don’t always like what is helpful. Other may see us as friend but we may not see other as friend.
Does other need to like me for me to consider them as friend?
this could be a good thread…
A friend is the person who can show you empathy and compassion while you are showing your ass.
duplicate post
A person who I can rely on and who can rely on me.
You’re friends with a corpse??
‘Not that there’s anything wrong with that’ 
Again, this does not sit well with me as it is saying that for me to consider someone to be my friend they need to behave themselves and do as they are told.
The end result of this is that I ditch them as soon as they deviate from my expectations of them.
And surely my own perceptions are unreliable while I am showing my ass and so I will not be able to see their empathy or compassion.
Is anybody reliable at the end of the day? We will always be disappointed the second we expect something of someone else.
Why does a friend then need to be a person?
A dog is often said to be man’s best friend.
Happy for you to contribute your thoughts and ideas… this is just an improv’ thread for me with no hidden agendas.
Well, if we consider ourselves to be atheists, then we are friends with animated corpses.
Why be friends with an animated corpse and not a non-animated one.
I think this is a legitimate question as I consider myself an atheist.
So what makes a friend.
I know people who consider their pets to be their friends (dogs, cats, birds, fish, mice, etc).
But these are not persons, reliable, and don’t give empathy or compassion… but are nevertheless considered as friends.
I have seen them interact with their pets and I believe I can definitely see friendship.
So what is a friend?
I am personally not sure of the answer.
I don’t see one definition for friend. I see that people like others for a variety of reasons. Friendship is akin to adoption. You adopt them as family in so many ways. They become members of your pack/herd. You may view them loosely as Aunt, uncle, cousin, sibling ,even parent.
The word friend can be used as nonrelated family.
Can you expand on this. What does “like” mean?
I guess like is getting positive emotions towards a person and wanting to socialize with them at times. As with any emotion/feeling , degrees occur.
It’s interesting that not only do atheists deny the existence of soul or spirit, but they often describe living humans as corpses or meat sacks or other unflattering objects.
Why not this view of humans?
As I asked earlier, why does friend need to be a person? I know lots of people who consider their pets to be their friends and when I watch them I believe I can see friendship.
“Like”, in the context of friendship, as a positive emotion does not really explain much to me. How would you define what “like” means?
I have read a lot of spiritual and religious texts and most mainstream ones also consider the human body to be an animated corpse. This view is certainly not restricted to atheists.
What most religions/faiths do is hold the human spirit in high esteem rather than the vessel. A lot of practices then encourage non-attachment to the human body (i.e. reduce unnecessary distractions) so that a person can connect with the spirit. In a similar manner, a person who enjoys wine does not praise the wine glass, for if they praised the wine glass they would cease enjoying the wine. The wine glass serves a purpose and beyond that it has no other function. This means that we treat the wine glass with respect and are kind/gentle to it, as it is fragile, but we do this so that it can function the way it is supposed to function.
But that is off topic and if you want you can start another thread on this as this would be an interesting discussion.
I am asking how would you define “friend”? What is a “friend”?
This question is open to those of faith or no-faith.
I think this is an important question as it is often the heart of many debates within religious/spirituality forums. I am not here to deny or reject either sides view but just interested in coming to a consensus or an agreed upon truth as to what friendship is.
You don’t know what I do for a living and what my family is like. A person need not be human. I have many friends that are persons but, not human. In my days I care for and socialize with different species. I want and need to know them as personalities. Ever get hugged by a horse or have a chicken want to be with you even after he or she is no longer hungry? A cow that just wants to stand beside you or play with you? Even a tiny Lovebird that is just so excited to see you? Include a multitude of cats and dogs plus a few goats. This is my day, 7 days a week. Its my paying job and my family. I love them all and I know most either like or love me.
This is a great illustration of what I am talking about.
So what I am asking is why are they your friends? Is it because they make you feel good? What happens when they don’t make you feel good, do they stop being your friend?
What is it about “friend” that makes a person or animal or personality a friend?
I have a good friend who considers plants to be his friend and he genuinely has the same feelings that you describe. I watch him and can say with certainty that plants are his friends.
So what is a friend and what makes a friend?
Why are some things friends while others are not friends?
If I can say with certainty that this thing is a table then I must be able to describe with certainty the characteristics of table.
Would you stop loving or liking a child or member of your family? I get physically injured almost every day in caring for them. Shit happens. Wait til you get a cow pinning you against a barbed wire fence or a stallion stand on your foot.
Lessons learned.
We don’t hold grudges when a bond is formed. Niether do animals, thankfully .
I refer back to positive emotions…
Negative emotions cause a bond too, we generally call this a grudge.
What maybe makes a friend is what occurs in the positive bonding within you. Memories.
Your friend has formed positive bonds with plants, they are his friends. I have known people that bond to vehicles or buildings.
Reciprocal bonds are not needed, they are just a bonus if it occurs.
Sounds like you have a wonderful job and life Kriswest, I myself work with children and with adults who live with a disability (it is a good job and pays the bills).
So to distil what you have said… correct me if I am paraphrasing incorrectly…
A friend is other that is liked, Liked in this context occurs when we form a connection with other such that the connection produces positive emotions. The positive emotions that are felt are produced by the connection we have with other rather than the connection other has with us (reciprocity is not mandatory for friendship to exist). Other, in this context, is something that differs from our perception of our own-self.
If this is correct, then what is the quality of the connection we form? What does it mean to be connected and how do we connect with other?
Quality will be different for each. You know this, there are flaky friends to sibling friends. Events, memories and emotions determine quality.
We connect by common events and the memories and emotions attached.
We can even attach to each other from memories of trauma shared. Its survival instinct of pack/herd animals. Interspecies bonding occurs among lower animals and is common more than what most humans see. Example:
At work we raised 4 cats in a Lovebird aviary. The bonding events I have witnessed has produced a tight bond of family between the birds and cats. It is still a tad unnerving to walk in , see a bird that managed to get out of it’s cage sitting happily on a cat. These 4 cats hunt other birds when outside. Bonds between predator and prey normally only occur between human and food animals, not lower species. In this case they are family more than friends.
The mechanics of this bond was events, memories and emotional attachment.
It all means that this hard world has made designs to give it’s inhabitants comfort of companionship rather than just separate stressed lives. An exchange of sorts. What would want to live with just negative only?
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Agreed, but then how does one explain how my friend sees plants as his friends (as plants do not have memories or emotions) and earlier you said that friendship does not need to be reciprocal.
So what does it mean to connect given that this does not need to be a reciprocal connection? If it needs to be reciprocal then we need to revisit the definition of friendship below.
A friend is other that is liked, Liked in this context occurs when we form a connection with other such that the connection produces positive emotions. The positive emotions that are felt are produced by the connection we have with other rather than the connection other has with us (reciprocity is not mandatory for friendship to exist). Other, in this context, is something that differs from our perception of our own-self