In this interview of Sick Sad Fucking World Joker interviews a random middle aged douche on the homeless and poor of the United States. This interview is brought to you in advertisement of the Donald Trump 2016 presidential campaign.
Joker: Thanks for taking the time to visit us at the studios today from your busy daily schedule of schlonging. First, what is your name we can address you by in this interview?
Random Middle Aged Douche: Just call me Mr. Douche.
Joker: Very well Mr. Douche.
Let’s start with why you think that all the problems of the United States has to do with its most poorest segments of the population.
Mr Douche: Isn’t it fucking abundantly clear that America’s poor is financially draining this country with their EBT, Obama Phones, welfare, and Section 8 affordable public housing? Plus, they smell and lack overall hygeine wearing ripped clothes in public. I can’t stand the sight of them in my neighborhood.
In order to make Murica great again we need to crackdown on these parasitic welfare cockroaches.
Joker: Yes, I see our transcripts reveal here that you petitioned against your local city six times for trying to open up a homeless shelter in your neighborhood. Is this true Mr. Douche?
Mr. Douche: That’s right Mr. Joker I don’t want those human trash or vermin even breathing the same air as me within close proximity. Their presence offends mine.
Joker: Isn’t it more true that a lot of the money concerning a lion’s share of government spending or national GDP goes to the military industrial complex not the nation’s poor? Comments?
Mr Douche: What the Fucking is wrong with you Joker? God bless our troops fighting overseas! We need a strong military to keep Murica strong and safe internationally.
Joker: Alright, what about the bailouts of the banks or corporations? Would you like to comment for us in what you think about corporate welfare which greatly overshadows the welfare of the poor? Thoughts?
Mr. Douche: All I know is that the taxes are too high. Already monthly I have had to cut back on beer and strippers.
Do you know how much beer and strippers that is? That shit really adds up man…
Joker: What do you think about banks and corporations paying either zero or very little taxes? What do you think about the majority of the poor paying a lion’s share of the taxes concerning burden?
Mr Douche: Shut up Socialist!
Joker: Mmhmm…
Alright, what do you think we should do with the nation’s poor then?
Mr. Douche: Well, I for one am tired watching them get their free food in the supermarkets with their SNAP cards. We need to cut welfare in half. In fact we need to just get rid of public welfare entirely.
Joker: Mmhmm…
So, just have them starve in the streets with their tongues hanging out then?
Mr. Douche: For starters, yes.
Joker: Mmhmm…
Who would clean up the corpses?
Mr. Douche: Instant shovel ready jobs, right?
Joker: These people are already human warehoused living in crowded facilities. Shouldn’t the goal be beyond shelter, food, clothing, and hygiene be an education along with finding viable employment opportunities?
Mr. Douche: Well, that’s their Fucking problem. There are plenty of meaningful public jobs at McDonalds, Wal-Mart, and the local KFC. They need to stop being lazy bums and stop expecting everybody to take care of them on the public’s dole.
They can start by mowing and raking my yard for one dollar.
Joker: What do you think of the minimum wage Mr. Douche?
Mr. Douche: Minimum wage? Hell no! That just means more increased taxes for me and the costs of everything going up.
I say do away with minimum wage altogether.
Joker: So, ten cents an hour sixty five hours a week then?
Mr. Douche: That’s still cutting into my beer money Joker. I was thinking the reintroduction of slave labor only without any wages. I still have my grand pappy’s horse whip.
Joker: It’s interesting in that cities like Miami, Florida have made it illegal to be homeless making it where one can arrested just for being homeless. Should we arrest the homeless?
Mr. Douche: Absolutely, we should. We should lock them all up into concentration or work camps. It will do them some good, improve the economy, and clean up the streets.
Joker: Arbeit macht frei?
Mr. Douche: Seig Heil!
