The Philosophy of Being…Ignorant
Guy: Do you know what the word “ontological” means?
Chick: Yeah…I have seen it before…
Guy: Yeah. Me too.
Chick: Is it like an orange?
Guy: Yeah…Well, it’s something weird like that.
Chick: I know what you mean.
–Hungarian Pastry Shop, Amsterdam Avenue
Overheard by: Marie Favorita
He Got Her in the End
Chick: …And she just lets him in!
Guy: And you’re asleep?
Chick: I’m asleep, and he comes over, and she opens the door for him.
Guy: And she leaves?
Chick: Yeah! So we’re alone, right, and he comes and, like, crawls into bed with me!
Guy: Whoa.
Chick: And I sleep naked, right?
Guy: Right.
Chick: So I’m like, what the fuck?
Guy: You should fire her as a roommate.
Chick: Naw, it sort of turned out all right.
–Brittany Hall Residence elevator, East 10th Street
Boxes and Boxes of Cocoa Puffs
Old woman: Have you seen Charlie?
Guy: No…he said he was gonna check himself into the hospital, and probably stay for a long time.
Old woman: Because I have some food for him…Now Patrick, have you seen Charlie? I have some food for him.
Old man: Charlie done checked hisself into the psycho ward for two months.
Old woman: I guess I gotta throw the food out then.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Heiny Kleist
Its Existence Preceded Its Essence
Woman #1: So she told me, “I think Simon de Beauvoir was so brave for a man, to write like that.” Can you believe it?
Woman #2: Oh my god.
Woman #1: How can she get a PhD without knowing who Simone de Beauvoir was?
–NYSC, Madison & 36th
Afghanistan is an Early Olympic Favorite
Guy: So then why are guys from the Eastern Europe and black guys so good at basketball?
Dad: Natural selection.
Guy: What?
Dad: They’ve had to fight to survive. It weeds out the physically inadequate.
Guy: Give me a break. It’s the ghetto, not some Hobbesian state of nature; they’re not cavemen living in anarchy up there.
–Madison Square Garden
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