I’m right now on the banks of the Ohio River, walking a trail I hacked with a machete as a child that has since been exploited by every hillbilly in the tri-state area into a two lane dirt road. I did it to get to the ruins of a abandoned town called East Steubenville, used to be ruins, but they are almost completely gone now, the maze of roads here more or less follow my pathways, though its enlarged now in some awkward spots.
I was walking down my ravine path, that used to require a rope to descend (now a steep road) and a red Toyota, rusted through, came leaping over the edge in a free fall, landing right behind me. I got out if the way just in time, and saw a bunch of kids in their late teens in it, heavily overweight, and a gas can in the back rusted through the top.
I get down to the river a few minutes later, in the maze in the thickets, and see them completely submerged one tire into the muddy shore of the river.
Idiot kept trying to drive it, the wheel completely embedded in the muck. I started taking pictures, and they got defensive, and I shrugged my shoulders and continued snapping away.
Finally one tried a wooden board, but board snapped. After a while, I suggested a counterweight, butting all of us in the far corner of the truck. I ended up in the far corner, and realized if this was successful, wed be in the river if he couldn’t stop in time reversing, so told the fattest of them to switch positions, as I didn’t want him plus a truck on me if we did go in.
Truck didn’t come out, and the idiot kept digging deeper, and we were screaming at him to stop.
He said proudly, once they all started taking pictures themselves, he had made a hole there yesterday and wanted to show his friends. He nearly got stuck yesterday, and said to himself “hey, I should gather my peers together and do it with them tomorrow”, and did… just that, getting stuck. And now, he is both proud and upset he is stuck.
Fat chicks were camping nearby, and offered to get a chain and tow him. I said it was a bad idea, as everything was muddy and you’ll get stuck, but her friend already got the car before she made the suggestion, and was driving through muck. I didn’t see no rope, but didn’t want to see it happened, and said I was going, and just go get a shovel tomorrow and dig it out. I told the girl who made the suggestion the boy was the Einstein of stupid, a fucking genius when it comes to being a idiot.
When I left, I heard the girl in the car screaming and cursing. I didn’t look back. Long walk home awaits me.