The Mind Of Frank Zappa/lyrics

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1

This is a song that Frank wrote after being inspired by the type of people who go to bars and clubs. He was fascinated by these subhumans and their tendencies. This song is a wondeful mockery and shows the cynical side of Frank. Sarcasm is his medium.

Now, picture the club nearest to you, put yourself there, and watch what you do…[laughing]

“Mudd Club”

Hey, they’re really dancin’
They’re on auto-destruct
On the floor
On the pipe
Bouncin’ off-a the wall

Hey, the people here are really
Tearin’ it up
On the side
In the back
By the front of the stage

They ain’t really crazy
You can take it from me
I should know
'Cause I go
Every time I’m in town

If you never tried it
Lemme straighten you out
It’s the best kinda place
To unfasten yerself

MUDD CLUB
All the way downtown
MUDD CLUB
They ain’t messin’ around
Just turn to the left 'n look around
It’s there somewhere
If you ain’t found it, better
Hurry up
The folks down there’s on auto-destruct
And so can you be too
(Fact of the matter it’s made for you…)

Try it on a Saturday ‘bout four o’ clock in the mornin’
Or even a Monday at midnight
When there’s just a few of them
Fabulous Poodles
Doin the Peppermint twist for real

In black sack dresses with nine inch heels
And then a guy with a blue mohawk comes in
In serious leather
(And all the rest of whom for which to whensonever of partially indeterminate bio-chemicle degradation)
Seek the path to the sudsy yellow nozzle
Of their foaming nocturnal
Parametric digital
Whole-wheat
Inter-faith
Geo-thermal
Terpsichorean ejectamenta

In serious leather…serious chains

Then they work the wall
'N work the floor
'N work the pipe
'N work the wall some more

In serious leather
In serious chains
In serious clothing
From when they come downtown
From the ruins of Studio 54
To twist 'n frugg
In an arrogant gesture
To the best of what the 20th century
Has to offer
At the MUDD CLUB

Al Malkin’s down there now
Looking for a virgin with nice breath…
(Why, maybe it’s you…and you don’t even know it!)

Hey, they’re really dancin’
They’re on auto-destruct
On the floor
On the pipe
Bouncin’ off-a the wall

Hey, the people here are really
Tearin’ it up
On the side
In the back
By the front of the stage

They ain’t really crazy
You can take it from me
I should know
'Cause I go
Every time I’m in town

If you never tried it
Lemme straighten you out
It’s the best kinda place
To unfasten yerself while you

WORK THE WALL
WORK THE FLOOR
WORK THE PIPE
And WORK THE WALL some more…

2

“The Meek Shall Inherit Nothing”

Some take the bible
For what it’s worth
When they say that the meek
Shall inherit the earth
Well, I heard that some sheik
Just bought New Jersey last week
‘N you suckers ain’t gettin’ nothin’

Is Hare Rama really wrong
If you wander around
With a napkin on
With a bell on a stick
An’ your hair is all gone…
(The geek shall inherit nothin’)

You say your life’s a bum deal
'N yer up against the wall…
Well, people, you ain’t even got no
Deal at all
‘Cause what they do
In Washington
They just take care
Of number one
An’ number one ain’t you
You ain’t even number two

Those Jesus freaks
Well, they’re friendly but
The shit they believe
Has got their minds all shut
An’ they don’t even care
When the church takes a cut
Ain’t it bleak when you got so much nothin’

(So whaddya do)
Eat that pork
Eat that ham
Laugh till ya choke
On Billy Graham
Moses, Aaron 'n Abraham…
They’re all a waste of time
'N it’s yer ass that’s on the line

Do what you wanna
Do what you will
Just don’t mess up
Your neighbor’s thrill
'N when you pay the bill
Kindly leave a little tip
And help the next poor sucker
On his one way trip

SOME TAKE THE BIBLE…

(Aw, gimme a half a dozen for the hotel room!)

3

“Suicide Chump”

You say there ain’t no use in livin’
It’s all a waste of time
'N you wanna throw your life away, well
People that’s just fine
Go ahead and 'n get it over with then
Find you a bridge 'n take a jump
Just make sure you do it right the first time
'Cause nothin’s worse than a suicide chump

You say there ain’t no light a-shinin’
Through the bushes up ahead
'N we’re all gonna be so sorry
When we find out that you are dead
Go head on and get it over with then
Find you a bridge 'n take a jump
Just make sure you do it right the first time
'Cause nothin’s worse than a suicide chump

Now maybe you’re scared of jumpin’
'N poison makes you sick
'N you want a little attention
'N you need it pretty quick
Don’t wanna mess your face up
Or we won’t know if it’s you
Aw, there’s just so much to worry about
Now what you gonna do?

Go head on 'n get it over with then
Go head on 'n get it over with then

…You’re on the bridge
Scared to leap
But a girl walks over
To take a peep
She says: “Don’t do it!”
But wouldn’t you know
The girl got a head
Like a buffalo
With a little red hair
All over the top
An’ her breath would make the
Traffic stop
She says: “I love you…but first let’s eat!”
And all you can say as you run down the street is

…jumbo, go away.

4

i love frank zappa. nanook is your name a reference to APOSTROPHE?! i usually hate music with lyrics but frank’s mind is so twisted …i love the lyrics! as a musician (i play drumset) i give frank and his band(s) SERIOUS RESPECT. zappa and his musicians are at the top of the heap, no question. what are your top three all time favorite albums? i’m going with:

  1. roxy and elsewhere
  2. you can’t do that on stage #2
  3. one size fits all

and now some choice lyrics:

“i’m the slime”
I am gross and perverted
I’m obsessed 'n deranged
I have existed for years
But very little has changed
I’m the tool of the Government
And industry too
For I am destined to rule
And regulate you

I may be vile and pernicious
But you can’t look away
I make you think I’m delicious
With the stuff that I say
I’m the best you can get
Have you guessed me yet?
I’m the slime oozin’ out
From your TV set

You will obey me while I lead you
And eat the garbage that I feed you
Until the day that we don’t need you
Don’t go for help . . . no one will heed you
Your mind is totally controlled
It has been stuffed into my mold
And you will do as you are told
Until the rights to you are sold

That’s right, folks . . .
Don’t touch that dial

Well, I am the slime from your video
Oozin’ along on your livin’ room floor

I am the slime from your video
Can’t stop the slime, people, lookit me go

I am the slime from your video
Oozin’ along on your livin’ room floor

I am the slime from your video
Can’t stop the slime, people, lookit me go

wind up workin’ in a gas station
This here song might offend you some
If it does, it’s because you’re dumb
That’s the way it is where I come from
If you’ve been there too, let me see your thumb

Let me see your thumb
(Ah, let me see your thumb)
Let me see your thumb
(Ah, let me see your thumb) (x4)

Show me your thumb if you’re really dumb (x3)
Show me your thumb if you’re dumb

Hey now, better make a decision
Be a moron and keep your position
You oughta know now all your education
Won’t help you no-how, you’re gonna . . .

Wind up workin’ in a gas station (x4)

Pumpin’ the gas every night
Pumpin’ the gas every night
Wind up workin’ in a gas station
Wind up workin’ in a gas station (x2)

Manny de Camper vants to buy some vite
(Wind up workin’ in a gas station
Wind up workin’ in a gas station)
(Fish!) (x4)

Wind up workin’ in a gas station (x4)

5

You got it, kid.

“Watch out were the husky’s go, and don’t you eat that yellow snow.”

“The unmidigated audacity to jump up from behing my Igaalooo”

I see you are a percussionist. I play drums too.

You know I saw the Zappa tribute band called “Project Object” twice in Ashville N.C. Ike Willis was there with guitar, and a band of Berkley school musicians.

The part in “Inca Roads,” if you know that song, where Ruth Underwood plays the xylophone(I’m not going to even attempt to spell that right) in the lead section of the song, was transcribed by the lead guitarist and he played the scales.

It was ridiculous. I have never seen anything like it before.

Is that what he says? Damn, I thought it was German or something.

An impossible question to answer.

6

in the end i think that musicians really get a kick out of zappa more than anyone else. are you a fan of mr. bungle? jazz? fusion? i’m huge into miles’ 70’s electric period but that’s a whole new topic. :sunglasses: :sunglasses:

that’s crazy about project object …i always wonder what the zappa alumni are up to nowadays. thats awesome that he had all kinds of berklee (i assume you mean the music school in boston) musicians there. my brother goes to berklee… and i take private lessons there (i went to “real college” and studied philosophy :laughing: :sunglasses: )

i never knew, until i looked up the lyrics.

7

I got it all, Magus.

I got into progressive rock when I was 17 years old. From there I was introduced to jazz fusion. Names like Mahavishnu Orchestra, Return To Forever, Brand X, all household necessities.

I am espicially fond of these bands:

King Crimson
Gentle Giant(a must hear)
Todd Rundgren(older stuff with Utopia and Naz)
Gong
Yes
Rush

Allan Holdworths and Frank Gambale are the forces to be reckoned with. Shawn Lane, Steve Via, John Mclaughlin. On and on.

Jaco Pastorius. Oh, it hurts, dude.

8

good lord YES! i love mahavishnu, shakti, “the heart of things” …all of mclaughlin… i’m currently collecting video bootlegs of miles’ 70’s concerts. i’m not huge into prog-ROCK but i do appreciate it. actually i just bought a live “yes” cd just to hear what it was all about.

i definitely lean more towards the jazz side of things though. have you heard john mclaughlin live at the blue note tokyo w/ dennis chambers and joey defrancesco… fucking ridiculous. oh and i just got chick corea w/ vinnie colaiuta and john pattitucci live at the blue note tokyo. a japanese import, cost $35!!! if you wanna trade music files over the AIM (my whole library is accessible through that), let’s trade names! i’m sure you have some shit that i need and vice versa.

dude my drum teacher played with jaco pastorius on this album (and some others in this series):

FUCKING RIDICULOUS!! let’s trade some shit. :sunglasses: :sunglasses: :sunglasses:

9

Would love to. Finding imports is next to impossible. Takes too long to get it through the mail, and it costs to much. I’ve been waiting for an old Gentle Giant bootleg to be surfaced for almost a month now. I can’t get my hands on it to save my life.

One thing though. Magus. You’re going to have to explain to me how exactly we would trade our music. I don’t think I can upload anything I have onto the computer. That would require a burner or something, right? I am open to the option of sending albums through the mail if need be. But I trust that this should be fairly easy to do through the net, and that I am just ignorant as to how to do it.

10

classicbands.com/zappa.html

home.gwi.net/~drrknrl/fzappa.html

Go to the discography page and check out the sample of “Roxy and Elsewhere.” They play a funny part that is at the beginning of a song called “Penguin In Bondage…”

11

“Wild Love”

Many well-dressed people
In several locations
Are kissing quite a bit
Later in the evening
Leaves will fall
Tears will flow
Wind will blow
Some rain; some snow

A fireplace maybe
A kiss or two
And down they’ll go
But that’s the way it goes sometimes
You just might find yourself in the clutches of some
Wild love

Mama stroked his dinger
Daddy got a stinky finger
In those days of long ago
Later in the evening
She’d complain
They’d refrain
He’d go home ‘n’ hone his bone
A tragic case maybe
But also true
I’m sure you know
But that’s the way it goes sometimes
You just might find yourself in the clutches of some
Wild love

Now’ days you get dressed up
‘N’ later you get messed up
But still you’re pretty hip
Later in the evening
You’ll explain
She’ll remain
You’re real modern
She’s the same
A frantic pace maybe
But who’s to say
Where it will go

12

“Valley Girl”

Valley Girl
She’s a Valley Girl
Valley Girl
She’s a Valley Girl
Okay, fine
Fer sure, fer sure
She’s a Valley Girl
In a clothing store
Okay, fine…
Fer sure, fer sure
She’s a Valley Girl
In a clothing store

Like, OH MY GOD! (Valley Girl)
Like - TOTALLY (Valley Girl)
Encino is like SO BITCHEN (Valley Girl)
There’s like the Galleria (Valley Girl)
And like all these like really great shoe stores
I love going into like clothing stores and stuff
I like buy the neatest mini-skirts and stuff
It s like so BITCHEN cuz like everybody’s like
Super-super nice
It’s like so BITCHEN

On Ventura, there she goes
She just bought some bitchen clothes
Tosses her head 'n flips her hair
She got a whole bunch of nothin in there

Anyway, he goes are you into S and M?
I go, oh RIGHT .
Could you like just picture me in like a
LEATHER TEDDY
Yeah right, HURT ME, HURT ME…
I’m sure! NO WAY!
He was like freaklng me out…
He called me a BEASTIE…
That’s cuz like he was totally BLITZED
He goes like BAG YOUR FACE!
I’m sure!

Valley Girl
She’s a Valley Girl
Valley Girl
She’s a Valley Girl
Okay, fine…
Fer sure, fer sure
She’s a Valley Girl
So sweet 'n pure
Okay, fine
Fer sure, fer sure
She’s a Valley Girl
So sweet 'n pure
It’s really sad (Valley Girl)
Like my English teacher
He’s like (Valley Girl)
He’s like Mr. BU-FU (Valley Girl)
We’re talking Lord God King BU-FU (Valley Girl)
I am SO SURE
He’s like so GROSS

He like sits there and like plays with all his rings
And he like flirts with all the guys in the class
It’s like totally disgusting
I’m like so sure It’s like BARF ME OUT…
Gag me with a spoon!

Last idea to cross her mind
Had something to do with where to find
A pair of jeans to fit her butt
And where to get her toenails cut

So like I go into this like salon place, y’know
And I wanted like to get my toenails done
And the lady like goes, oh my God, your toenails
Are like so GRODY
It was like really embarassing
She’s like OH MY GOD, like BAG THOSE TOENAILS
I’m like sure…
She goes, uh, I don’t know if I can handle this,
y’know…
I was like really embarassed… .

Valley Girl
She’s a Valley Girl
Valley Girl
She’s a Valley Girl
Okay, fine
Fer sure, fer sure
She’s a Valley Girl
And there is no cure
Okay, fine
Fer sure, fer sure
She’s a Valley Girl
And there is no cure

Like my mother is like a total space cadet (Valley Girl)
She like makes me do the dishes and (Valley Girl)
CLEAN the cat box (Valley Girl)
I am sure
That’s like GROSS (Valley Girl)
BARF OUT! (Valley Girl)
OH MY GOD (Valley Girl

Hi!
Uh-huh (Valley Girl)
My name?
My name is Ondrya Wolfson (Valley Girl)
Uh -huh
That’s right, Ondrya (Valley Girl)
Uh -huh…
I know (Valley Girl)
It’s like…
I do not talk funny…
I’m sure (Valley Girl)
Whatsa matter with the way I talk? (Valley Girl)
I am a VAL, I know
But I live in like in a really good part of Encino so
it’s okay (Valley Girl)
So like, I don’t know
I’m like freaking out totally
Oh my God!

Hi - I have to go to the orthodontist
I’m getting my braces off, y’know
But I have to wear a retainer
That’s going to be really like a total bummer
I’m freaking out
I’m SURE
Like those things that like stick in your mouth
They’re so gross…
You like get saliva all over them
But like, I don’t know, it’s going to be cool, y’know
So you can see my smile
It’ll be like really cool
Except my like my teeth are like too small
But NO BIGGIE…
It’s so AWESOME
It’s like TUBULAR, y’know
Well, I’m not like really ugly or anything
It’s just like
I don’t know
You know me, I’m like into like the clean stuff
Like PAC-MAN and like, I don’t know
Like my mother like makes me do the dishes
It’s like so GROSS. . .
Like all the stuff like sticks to the plates
And its like, it’s like somebody elses food, y’know
It’s like GRODY…
GRODY TO THE MAX
I’m sure
It’s like really nauseating
Like BARF OUT
GAG ME WITH A SPOON
GROSS
I am SURE
TOTALLY…

13

I think this one is very appropriate on this forum:

Cosmik debris

The mystery man came over
And he said I’m outta sight!
He said for a nominal service charge
I could reach nirvana tonight
If I was ready, willing and able
To pay him his regular fee
He would drop all the rest of
His pressing affairs and devote
His attention to me

But I said look here brother
Who you jiving with that cosmik debris?
Now who you jiving with that cosmik debris?
Look here brother, don’t waste your time on me

The mystery man got nervous
And he fidget around a bit
He reached in the pocket of his mystery robe
And he whipped out a shaving kit
Now I thought it was a razor
And a can of foaming goo
But he told me right then when the top popped open
There was nothin’ his box won’t do
With the oil of aphrodite, and the dust of the grand wazoo
He said you might not believe this, little fella
But it’ll cure your asthma too

And I said look here brother
Who you jiving with that cosmik debris?
Now what kind of a guru are you, anyway?
Look here brother, don’t waste your time on me
(don’t waste your time)

I’ve got troubles of my own, I said
And you can’t help me out
So, take your meditations and your preparations
And ram it up your snout!
But I got the crystal ball, he said
And held it to the ligh
So I snatched it, all away from him
And I showed him how to do it right

I wrapped a newspaper ’round my head
So I looked like I was deep
I said some mumbo-jumbo, then
I told him he was going to sleep
I robbed his rings and pocketwatch
And everything else I found
I had that sucker hypnotized
He couldn’t even make a sound
I proceeded to tell him his future, then
As long as he was hanging around
I said the price of meat has just gone up
And your old lady has just gone down!

And I said look here brother-who you
Jiving with that cosmik debris?
Now is that a real poncho or is that a sears poncho?
Don’t you know, you could make more money as a butcher?
So, don’t waste your time on me
Don’t waste it, don’t waste your time on me
(shanti)

14

“You Are What You Is”

globalia.net/donlope/fz/lyrics/Y … ou_Is.html