I used to draw perfect circles. Does that make me mad? I cannot anymore. But I could when I was very, very young. This makes it even stranger.
I never listened to music because it made me sad.
I couldn’t tolerate red light and had to close my eyes.
The sound of air planes made me feel uncomfortable to a point at which I had to put my hands over my ears and pray. Was it claustrophobia? Or was I simply mad? I am now fine with the sound of airplanes. But my mother experienced the same thing when she was supposedly brought under ‘witchcraft’ and a severe depression. I am in a depression right now but I no longer feel afraid of the sound of air planes. But the sound of planes also reminds me of the passing of life. Does it have anything to do with that?
I have, since a tender age, had a horrible temper.
I have always been very negative. Almost, too negative. But the toughest in my family. The proclaimed badass although I haven’t done anything at all. Rather, I am the most knowledgeable.
I have a very sensitive sense of smell. I cannot even sleep with another person in the room because the smell of skin bothers me. This was never the case before…
Anybody know why I am the way I am or can relate?
Or are these just mere phases…
I live next to an airport and my book is about a character who partially fears airplane noise, so you’re not alone. But i can tell you, its strange reading another’s fear that happens to be the same as my own. Very Strange. I cant tell you how much.
I don’t know if this will help, but what we claim and accept is not as important as what we can look past and change. We have to want things to change for the better, so we must pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps.
i get what you’re saying and it sounds positve, but some of the pulling up of the bootstraps is well out of our control. You’re expressing an attitude, not really a fact.
Not in my case. My adolescent life was invaded by indiscretionary sexual situations which I told myself when I was able to get away from such things (plus we were very poor), I would not carry those traits to a family I would have someday. I made up my mind that those events were not of my doing and decided to change my life for the better. It took a while for me to come to grips with that angst, thus realigning my psyche myself. Something inside me sparked a determination to get away from those destructive situations. I believe people must move from feeling like victims and change things for themselves. I realize not everyone has that ability, but they should try at least.
I find this very interesting. It is a very different perspective.
Well actually, my senses are not all that strong at all. I have rather poor eyesight. My hearing has always been ridiculously awful. Embarrassing even.
But on the other hand, I have seen very strange apparitions. Some people call them ‘shadowers.’ But perhaps I simply attract odd things. That does not have to have anything to do with eyesight. However, my hearing is extremely acute in certain aspects. I am a light sleeper, partial to the fact that I wake up to the creak of a step. A reason for which I have to keep a fan on year long, on high, so that I won’t wake up. Yet, even with that, I wake up several times to a creaking step or door. I have heard footsteps during the night which did not make any sense to anyone in the beginning. But later on, a relation within the house who slept near the steps said she too heard shuffling feet. But I do not sleep so near the steps. And I keep a fan running unlike her. My door is also always closed.
I don’t know what to make of it really.
The red lights…well, I know I could never tolerate a submarine. I have long moved from the home I used to live in, and so I have not seen a red light in a very long time.
I hate dark chocolate. The taste is disgusting.
But I don’t think my taste is that acute at all. I’ve never figured that…or payed attention to it rather.
heh i think you have been watching too much “hunt for red october”
i am inclined to believe that by nature you are an edgy person. paranoid delusions are a part of mist minds. any logical person needs to expand on any influences which may enter into their mind.
but like i said, you seem fairly edgy. i have a cat that fell from a 3 story high balcony… he was quite hurt and he still bleeds blood from his eyes every once in awhile.
for a long time after he fell he would run in terror at the sight of anything that mvoed faster than a snail.
if you wanted to pat him, forget. he would be gone as soon as your hand twitched…
the only person he would socialise with is my other cat (yes i refered to him as a person). basically he gave alll of his attention to this other cat and ignored all other influence… when my other cat went outside, he would go hide somewhere and wait for him to get back.
but slowly through watching the other cat getting attention he has learned that people can give good attention too. however at least once a day he will have a terror… always if he is on the steps he is nervous. if you happen to be going upstairs as he is going down stairs he will shoot like a bullet and hide in terror…a clear remnant of his of his former, his original terror… his fall.
have you had a similar near death experience perhaps? maybe even when you were a baby? this could be anything from almost drowning to being terrified by a lawnmower…
Well, no. But I’m just a very emotional person. I am a writer. (I think you were the one who mentioned you were also?) And I feel that as a writer, I attempt at understanding every emotion a human being can go through. I was a born writer. I began as soon as I could speak. When I could not write, I used to speak stories to my mother and she used to write them down for me. But I feel I have adapted to being a writer in all the wrong ways.
I TRY to find all the negative things possible in life.
I WANT to have lucid dreams of horrific images.
I ATTEMPT at having the worst experiences possible.
Just to finish my book.
I am going insane with it. I fear one day I will be able to tell my own tale of The Secret Window. And trust me when I say this, I Do Not want that.
Oh, I am sorry. I meant to respond to you about all that.
Yes, I plan on describing all my awkward feelings within my novel. It will be easier to express.
I write literature. Historical Fiction.
Publish? Not any time soon, my friend. I have been working on this one piece of literature for 4 years now. I’m afraid I have got a long way to go. I am incorporating a whole life story into pages. But it is also revolving around historic events. And so I am running in about 20 different directions. I am awful confused and stressed about all this. The research is very exhausting, yet I have so much more to do. I am a perfectionist and so I demand complete accuracy.
It is very difficult to stay on track and keep spirits high when there is SO much to do.
But I know it will pay off soon enough.
An outline helps. Research always pays off. At the 4 year mark I too had a lot to do, but now at the 8 year mark I’m nearing my big send off to New York publishing companies And its such a relief. I imagine you will feel a tremendous relief too, so stick with it. If you’re a born writer like you say you are, then you probably already know you have no choice but to stick with it. You will see your name in print.
I have tried an outline time and again. And I have several that I am working on.
After four years, I have finally finished an introduction however, and I am extremely pleased.
Thank you for sharing that bit with me, my friend.
I knew a guy who couldn’t stand the noise of rooftop AC units in NYC and used to go up to the roof at night and sabotage them.
I think noises actually bother me a bit more than most people, though I’m not extreme. It’s only certain kinds of noises (like AC units). For me it’s the noise of a computer being on when I’m not the one using it.
Lights are ridiculous these days as well. There’s security lights in my neighborhood (a church and a religious school - not affiliated) and they are exceedingly bright and shine directly into people’s houses.
Well see, if someone has the kitchen fan on for a while and then turns it on, or the opposite, it bothers me a lot. But I think that is with everyone. Something you are not used to always bothers you.
I agree with the lights.
And I hate it.
Even light bulbs piss me off. I always keep my curtains closed because I am very sensitive to sunlight and often get bad headaches that may lead to migraines. Not only that I hate light. Although that bit is true also.
in 10th grade english class we read short stories and then answerd questions on them as some type of test.
i was the only one in the class who got 20 out of 20 and the teacher took me aside and basically told me i was a genius… it felt strange coming from someone who i respected so much (i respect him even more today). but he was convinced that i have some sort of talent for at least reading…
i have always read books with ease and i have always written stories as a young child… i feel like i know so much random crap that putting some of it into a book seems like a good idea, but i have troubel deciding what to write about.
i have an outline for a sstory from the point of view of a hobo, which i think is a fair idea, but every day i think up some new idea wich would make for potentially an even better novel.
what i have decided to do is try and incorporate many genres into one single book.
like a fictional, adventure-romance-apocalyptic sci-fi novel from the point of view of a hobo…
what do you think? would it turn out to be a mutt or what?
the character might be a good start, seeing has hobos are usually eccentric, and i like that. But what is the conflict? What would the main character want, or what does he wish to avoid?
That usually drives a story, as you probably already know. I like my main character to have mulitiple wants and many ways to avoid the unpleasant, to keep the reader guessing.
I won two short story contests sponsored by local authors, Robert Cormier and R.A. Salavatore. Teachers then pumped me up the same way they did you you. Maybe we should talk then, assist each other a little here and there. i wrote you a pm.
That does not 